dd taking an hour to fall asleep at bt

[HenaV]

I would, see how it goes for a few days and then re-evaluate if needs be x

[Aishi]

I know you said to give it a few days but this is ridiculous! What's the point me being consistent if she's just messing around?

She had the exact same routine as yesterday but half an hour earlier so wu 7, nap 1.30-3 capped, pd 7 for BT and she is now whining from ot after singing and chattering for an hour! Iv just told her off to sleep and she's finally gone quiet. So she had a 12h day on same routine yesterday and over 13h today??! Surely that's not self regulating....

[HenaV]

I know it's frustrating hon but I do think you need to give a few days. Do you think sticking with the A times - so moving her nap by 30m today could be contributing Because it's not helping to regulate her day?

H

[Aishi]

Are u suggesting to set the nap? Because although it was an earlier nap today the am a time was still 6.5h like the previous days. Would having a set nap regulate more so than set a time iykwim? Tbh I don't know what it is, how could the routine work theffirst day and then be drastically different the next day?

Or was yesterday a cu day and I need the am a to be longer so should have done nap at 2 for a 7h am a time and maybe she would have been ready to sleep at bt...i really dont know...

Or is it developmental still? But if it was then surely she would have taken as long at BT on nnd too? But she was asleep in 5 min on Monday when she had a nnd...

I feel like no matter how hard I try to be consistent I'm constantly just guessing what she needs...Wdyt?

[Khadija]

Sorry Aishi its been so hard...
I haven't read all the previous posts so i hope I'm not making you repeat yourself but what is your current bedtime routine?

Also how quickly does she fall asleep for naps at maybe about 5.5hrs a time in the morning. My daughter is 3 but she's always needed a much longer pm a time. So i do:

WU: 8-8.30 (occasionally earlier)
Nap: 1.45-3.00 (earlier if OT but always wu at 3)
Bt asleep: 8.30-9.30

She has always taken over an hour to fall asleep after PD, so for the first time today i tried a new really long wind down. And she was fast asleep in 15mins :-o (first time ever except on NND)

Also if you think she's really OT i just stopped and let her catch up on her sleep. So a few days of long naps and EBT until she wasn't OT. And then tried the new routine for a few days.

[Aishi]

Thanks for your post khadija. Dd was doing 2h+ naps at 6h am a time but was taking up to an hour to sleep at BT and having ew...which is why I increased am a to 6.5 and capped nap to 1.45 then 1.5. Bt is still a pain but she's not ew as much.

She won't nap earlier. In fact I pd a little early today and she still chattering normally for nap she is asleep within 5 mins.

So far

2x ot nws and slept 8.15-7.40

Wu 7.40
Nap 2.25 (pd at 1.50) I'll prob cap at 3.45 and do 7 BT

Wdyt chattering at nap today is? Ut or built up ot? I just don't know anymore ....just so fed up.

ETA she has a proper WD now at BT but it doesn't make a diff- she still takes an hr to fall asleep. She used to be asleep within 5 mins at BT too but that was ages ago now

[Aishi]

Ok so I officially have no idea what I'm doing. I know changing routine can be difficult but since I was having the same problems of dd taking an hour to fall asleep at bt prior to making changes as I'm doing now i don't know what's going on.

So this is what I know about her sleep. Naps she falls asleep within 5 minutes. Bt takes an hr+

1. On 6h am a she was doing 2-2.5h naps and taking 1h at bt. Days were 13-14h long. Nws and ew.
2. I increased am a time to 6.5h and capped nap to 1.75 then 1.5. Days still long 13h+ long. Short nights
3. Nnd Monday. Wu 7, slept in car 6-7 and BT 8. Sttn (ot cry outs this) and wu was 7.30.
4. Today she had 6h45 am a cos didn't settle at 6.5ha, nap 2.30-4.05 uncappsd , BT 8.15 but I pd at 7 as am a was long so a 12h40 day.
5. It seems she's dropped her sleep needs to 12-12.5h in 24 over the last few weeks.

What I don't know.

1. Was she having ut nws and ewu cos nap was too early?
2. Then got ot from increasing am a time and nap capping?
3. Or is she just ut because regardless of nap length and a times she is taming an hour to fall asleep at BT?

Does this clarify anything for anyone? Should I be thinking of nap dropping rather than thinking she is still HSN?

[HenaV]

Me again!

As I previously posted, R did exactly that - 12h in 24 but at around 33/34m. I had to further cap the nap and push it out gradually for us to get back on track. I stayed with it and it took around 6weeks and she's back to sleeping somewhere between 12.5-13h in 24.

I'm not sure I can add anything more to my previous posts ATM, but am here to hold your hand along the

[jessmum46]

Extra hugs hun, remember sometimes there's just no logic in it and you can analyse every day to death without making much difference.  Just from what you said earlier - about what's the point if you being consistent if she isn't?  To me, her self-regulating means that every day WILL be different, that's just how it goes.  Some days she'll need more sleep, some days less, and so some days nap will be a mess and some she'll sleep longer, some days she'll settle immediately at bedtime, others she won't be as tired and will sing and chatter.  The consistency comes in what YOU do ie the time you put her down for nap and bedtime, at least that's how I look at it.

Just as an example - we've now had 6 NNDs in a row here.  Every day pd for bed at 6.30pm.  She has fallen asleep between 6.30pm and 7.10pm, and woken between 6.05am and 7.20am during that time.  So total sleep has ranged from 11h to 12h30.  One NW on three nights, none on the other three.  Not "consistent" in the sense of same sleep every day, but consistent in that what we've done is the same each day iykwim? 

[Aishi]

Thanks Katherine. I appreciate your input esp since youve got ur handsfull atm with a newborn! I guess I'm going to have to think about setting times and just let the rest go...

[kaipooi]

If this helps at all, I just realised yesterday that after merging A & set times, Jr has kinda regulated himself. We have kind of settled into set times now. Perhaps he is old enough for it now. The only time the routine goes wonky is when we keep him up too late/overstimulated at night because we went out for dinner/party, and he early wakes. This can happen quite a bit, in fact we have a dinner party tomorrow. He takes a few days to recover (earlier nap and EBT) and is then back on track.

Now he does,

WU: 0800 - 0815
Nap: 1415 (+/-15 mins), He naps for 1.5hr - 2hr15, I don't wake him up. Can be between 2.5-3hr if he is catching up from OT
BT: 2100 - 2130, Depends on what time he wakes from his nap. He is usually put down for bed between 2045 - 2115.

I noticed that he does best with 6hr - 6hr15min AM A time and 5hr - 5hr10min PM A time, with a 2 hour nap. He can handle a 13hr15min day without getting OT.

Oh, and he was indeed OT last week. I pulled back his morning A time back to 6hr-ish and EBTs and he caught up in 2 days, and self regulated to the above routine. Of course, there are days when he is cranky and refuses sleep, and there are days where he would just sleep. So, I just decided to go with the flow. On difficult days, I just take him to the jungle gym or swimming pool...

[Aishi]

she was ot from pushing am a time and nap capping so im only capping nap if its upto two hours. This is what i've been doing the last few days

Wu 7 I wake
Am a 6.5h
Nap 1.30-3.30 capped at 2h Max
Pm a 4.5h
Bt 8 (pd 7.30)

Yesterday

Wu 7 I woke
Nap 1.30-3.20 uncapped
Bt 8 (PD 7.30)

shes sleeping much better at night but still had few nws at 2.30 and 6. i think its ot. I'm waking her in the mornings at 7 to get some consistency in day. if that could be causing a little ot will she just learn to regulate and get used to it?

[kaipooi]

Looks like a good routine. Perhaps after a couple of days, the OT will clear up and the NW will stop. Yes, I think she will regulate if you keep with it.

[Aishi]

Well our new routine didn't last long

We've been doing set nap at 1.30 (maximum 2h) and set BT 7.30 but she was falling asleep about 8 so a 13h day.

Anyway last few days have gone pear shaped for nap, 1h30, 1h15, and a 35 min nap today . I'm assuming this is developmental cos she will be 2.5 next month. I told her to have quiet time for about an hour until the lights came on. Should I continue to do this till she gets over whatever this is?

And what do I do about BT today. Should I stick to 7.30 or bring it forward to 6.30 so that its only a 11h day on a 35min nap? Its ot I'm worried about mainly as u know her sleep quickly unravels when ot....

ETA shes started complainingin the motn and mid nap today that her fan is too loud (we've been using it since tiny!) I turned it down but she still complains. I dont want to stop using it cos early morning traffic is really loud...wwyd?

[Aishi]

I pd at 6.40 last night and she didn't fall asleep till 7.50 how long does this dev leap last?!

Am i better off doing nnds as she is more likely to fall asleep quickly m
at BT? And she does tack on....