4S wind down = screaming baby; HELP!

[jnduff]

My LO is 3 1/2 months and is on a struggling 3-4 hour EASY.  I say struggling because I recently returned to work and he is in daycare.  However, I will be finished with work in 3 more short weeks so we are muddling our way through.  We do have a really good bedtime routine consisting of bath, lotion, jammies and talking then moving right into our 4S - I usually close the shades, turn on the sound machine, we have moved away from the swaddle since he likes his hands on his face/sucking his fingers. However, as soon as I start to do the 4S he starts screaming and crying - almost like he knows that bedtime is coming.  It takes him 5+ minutes to settle down with me loudly shushing and bouncing him.  I am not sure what habit we have gotten ourselves into.  At the point when I finally calm him down I can then lay him into his bed and he will drift off to sleep independently or look around briefly and then drift off.  I guess I should add that by the by time he is going to bed he may or may not have had a little catnap between his last nap and bedtime.  I try to get him to take one daily but it doesn't always happen.  Any suggestions would greatly help.  Not sure if I am just dealing with an OT baby every day - especially being at daycare all day or if I am not winding down in the right manner.  I have even tried to do the lights and sound machine while still dressing and calmly talking as a sort of transition.

[lauradj]

Every baby is different but I can tell you what I do because I extend my wind down all the way across bedtime prep.  When I'm/DH undressing him for his bath we have quiet lullabies playing, the blinds are already closed, and there's a soft light on in the room.  Bath time and then jammies.  I switch the white noise on and turn off the light and then I actually go into the living room for his final bottle (I don't know how that started, it just did).  Kisses from whomever did not do the bottle and then we go back into his room, into sleep sac, lullaby or snuggles and then to bed.  This is stretched over almost 30minutes.  I don't know if it would make a difference because I don't know how long your wind down routine is but it's a thought.
Another thought is that perhaps your LO isn't ready for a 4hour EASY?  My DS has high sleep needs and he didn't have a 4hr EASY until he was 6 months old.  Every baby is different.  I hope this helps somehow.  Please let me know if you have any questions.   

[lauradj]

Before I forget, maybe cut out the bouncing as that can become a prop and just use shh-ing and firm, gentle pats but you know your baby best.

[jnduff]

You may be right that my wind down is too quick from laughing and "playing" right to bed...making no transition at all.  I will try to slow down a bit and ease the transition.  I am really not sure on the 4 hour easy but he seems to not give any hunger cues making me think he can go longer...maybe I need to go 3.5 hours.  I hate to change too much at once but I'm also concerned that he is already OT by the time we are headed to bed....causing the screaming fit.  Lastly, I know the bouncing is a prop at this point.  I just laid him down for nap and I bounced him to calm then laid down.

My biggest issue I think is that I don't have complete control during day since he goes to daycare so hoping that once I'm done working for summer (I'm a teacher) I can get him on a more solid routine than just so so.

[lauradj]

Having an LO in daycare can be challenging to your routine, especially if they do things differently to you.  Have you chatted with the staff about how your DS is sleeping during the day?  Is he getting two restorative naps?  Is there something they're seeing?
Re the bouncing: if you're just doing it briefly, and not to sleep and it's working right now, go for it.  Like you said, this is all temporary.  If taking a little longer for the bedtime routine is helping, go with that for a few days and then slowly work on the other areas.  Tackling it all at once will definitely be a bit much for all of you! 

[jnduff]

I have talked to her...it's an in home daycare.  She rotates him a lot during awake/activity time and he is sleeping 2-3 hour stretches and maybe a 45 minute to an hour nap in the morning and possible one in the afternoon.  So I think there he is sleeping plenty.  The bouncing has been used a more of a calming prop rather than to put fully asleep.  For example this morning I started the 4s wind down and he cried and was getting irritable and I just slowed down and lightly bounced and did pat/shush to calm.  Once he was calm I was able to lay him down and continue the pat/shush until he melted into the bed.  So far still asleep...going on 2 hours...we have been dealing with the dreaded 45 minute nap as well. So I think a combination of figuring him out I. Timing it right so he is not OT and slowing down and not watching the clock as u h as listening to him....something I knew but clearly have forgotten.  Thanks so much for the support

[lauradj]

You're welcome!