Don't know when to stop feed

[Raroo]

Hi all. Quick question. My lo is 4 months and weighs 16 pounds. I bf him exclusively but since birth he never stops the feed when he's done. He will just eat and eat until I stop. I have fallen asleep sometimes by mistake in a nf and woken up an hour and a half later and he is still fervently sucking. I understand in that case he was probably not getting any milk at that point but I can't tell when he is still hungry or not. I am worried that I am stopping him mid feed as he gets really upset when I stop each time. Any ideas or advice on how to know when to stop? He is not really giving any cues of being full. Tia

[jessmum46]

Can you tell a difference between active feeding (suck-swallow pattern) and just sucking (no swallow)?  If he's not unlatching himself once he's done then I would probably look for the change in rhythm and then try breaking the latch.  If he's sucking for an hour and a half or more then a lot of it is probably comfort sucking so that may be the reason he cries when you unlatch him (a bit like taking a dummy out), rather than still being hungry.  Will he take a dummy post-feed to help satisfy his need to suck?

[cath~]

My DD1 was exactly the same.  She just went on and on sucking!  And I have also nooded off during a NF only to wake 1.5hr later and find her still sucking

How long after he starts feeding are you trying to stop?  If he protests it could be hunger or he could like the sucking.  At four months you could perhaps try a little distraction and see if that helps, eg a song or tickle or rhyme or funny face.  If it helps, he's probably had enough milk.  If not, he may still be hungry.

Iirc, it was at about 4 mos that L's feeds suddenly got a lot shorter.  She just becamea lot more interested in her surroundings and doing things, and only wanted to eat, not suck for comfort.  Maybe your DS will be like this soon too.

[Raroo]

Thanks for replies. I paid attention today and could not see when sucking changed. When I stopped the feed after about 15 minutes when I felt empty (don't know if that's an indicator) he throws a little baby tantrum as if he's starving. Then once I give the dummy he is fine

[jessmum46]

Then once I give the dummy he is fine

That suggests to me he is enjoying the sucking, not that he's still hungry.  A dummy probably wouldn't soothe a hungry baby for long so I think what you did sounds fine.  If he won't settle with the dummy, or only settles for a short time then hunger may be more likely.

[cath~]

Yeah, I agree with Katherine.  Sounds like he just wants to suck more but isn't hungry.

[Martini~]

Regarding sucking... Do you hear gulping at the beginning of the feed:)?

[Raroo]

It sounds stupid but I never hear gulping. I feel the milk coming in but otherwise it all seems the same

[cath~]

Doesn't sound stupid at all - it all seemed the same to me with DD1 as well.  I watched and listened really closely but couldn't really tell that well when she'd stopped swallowing any milk. I don't think she ever stopped completely though but was just taking much less per swallow.

[Raroo]

So at that point you would stop the feed?

[cath~]

If your lo doesn't protest when you stop, or is happy to be offered a dummy instead, then I think that would be an ok point to stop the feed. He'd let you know if he were still hungry! Sorry that a bit vague.

[Raroo]

Thanks so much for the reassurance!!!!!

[cath~]

Also, if you found you started getting earlier/more NFs then that might be a sign to let him feed a bit longer during the day (or could just be a GS).  But if you "cap" the day feeds and he's otherwise as happy and sleeps as well as usual, then I'm sure that means he's getting plenty.