Author Topic: Started EASY 3 days ago / problem with the morning nap  (Read 1013 times)

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Offline Magdalena S

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Started EASY 3 days ago / problem with the morning nap
« on: June 16, 2014, 10:20:51 am »
Hello!

I have just started my LO on EASY 3 days ago and things are mostly going well except that we are having some big issues with her morning nap. I would really, really appreciate any advice/insights as to what I could be doing better.

LO is 5 ½ months old (born prematurely, adjusted age 4 months 1 week) and is a two-thirds Textbook and one-third Touchy baby. She has never been on any kind of routine before. I am following the 4-hour routine with feeding times at 7, 11, 3, and 7 (+ dreamfeed) and nap times at 9, 1, and a catnap in the late afternoon.

In the mornings, LO wakes up between 7 and 7:30 and I feed her. By about 8:15, she starts showing signs of getting tired (slows down, looks away, yawns, and then starts rubbing her eyes). That’s when I start our wind-down routine (looking out the window in my arms, talking to her softly, lowering the shades, and walking around her nursery a bit) which takes us about 10-15 minutes. Then I put her down and she usually manages to put herself to sleep by about 9. The problem starts right before 10 when she wakes up (crying and unhappy) and can’t go back to sleep. She starts crying really hard, and there is no way of calming her in her crib, so I’ve had to do PU/PD for at least an hour, until her 11 o’clock feeding time, every day. So basically she only has a 45 min nap. (She also wakes up in the middle of her afternoon nap but usually settles after 10 min. of PU/PD.)

The problem is that after an hour of crying, LO is extremely tired, and it’s difficult for me to keep her up long enough during the following cycle which makes it really hard to stick to the routine time slots. (I know that in her book Tracy encourages flexibility but warns against it during the training phase, so I’ve been trying very hard to stick to it.)

What should I be doing differently so that my LO doesn’t have to cry her heart out as soon as her first sleeping cycle is over and can actually stay asleep for the whole 1 ½ - 2 hours? Should I extend her A time in the mornings despite the fact that she is clearly tired? I’m also aware of the wake-to-sleep method, but I’ve been a bit reluctant to try it as LO wakes up very easily and I’m afraid that it will only make things worse. But maybe I should give it a go anyways – how much worse can it get?

I’d be extremely grateful for your comments and advice!

Offline weaver

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Re: Started EASY 3 days ago / problem with the morning nap
« Reply #1 on: June 16, 2014, 12:25:58 pm »
Hi there, and welcome to BW,
average A for her adjusted age is 1 hr 45 - 2 hrs.  From what you have written, she's waking around 7.15 (say) and then sleeping at 9, so that's bang on average.  But you appear to be starting wind-down at 8.15, so 45 mins before she goes to sleep.  I would start by reducing your wind-down time, let her have a bit more 'true' A for a few days and see how you get on.  If that doesn't work, I would push the nap a bit later, just 10 mins to start with, and hold it at the new time for several days.  She does sound undertired to me, that could be because she needs to do a bit more during her A time. 

Her 'looking away' could just be a signal to do something else, but as she's got a touchy streak, I would keep it low-key in the run up to bedtime.  Even a mobile or baby gym could be quite stimulating to a touchy baby, but a change of position might be enough to keep her entertained.  My touchy LO loved lying on the floor looking out the window, watching me fold laundry and so on.  Touchies can be very sensitive to stimulation so watch her and see what works for her.  Touchies do also benefit from a good wind-down so while cutting back a little on your wind-down time, I would still allow 15-20 minutes for her to relax before sleep. 

Also, do bear in mind her touchy streak, and the fact that crying is communication.  Have a listen and try to hear what she's telling you, with that touchy streak in there, she will definitely tell you what she thinks of everything! 

HTH!

(PS we noticed you had posted the same topic in the EASY forum, so we have deleted that one, and kept this one going for you).
« Last Edit: June 16, 2014, 12:27:32 pm by weaver »
*Anne*, loving mama to a honeybee (2010) and a sweetpea (2012).  BF for 4 proud years.


Offline Magdalena S

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Re: Started EASY 3 days ago / problem with the morning nap
« Reply #2 on: June 16, 2014, 14:47:44 pm »
Thank you so much for all the great advice, Anne/weaver! It's really reassuring to know that my hunch was not totally off base. I just wish I had discovered BW and this awesome forum sooner.

Offline Magdalena S

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Re: Started EASY 3 days ago / problem with the morning nap
« Reply #3 on: June 20, 2014, 08:56:27 am »
Hello again!

I'm afraid my LO and I still need help.  :( She's been on the 4-hour EASY routine for a week now is doing very well (no more PU/PD before naps or bedtime) except that her naps are still way too short. As I had said in my original post, she'll go down for her morning nap fairly easily but only sleep 40-45 min. and then it's impossible to put her down for the second half of her nap. We end up doing PU/PD (even tried shush pat for the last couple of days) for the whole remaining hour or more during which she cries really hard. I have tried changing her A time right before the nap to make it slightly longer and more stimulating, but unfortunately it hasn't made any difference. Pushing the nap a bit later hasn't worked either as she gets so tired that she starts falling asleep wherever she'd been playing. (Afternoons are a bit easier, but she wakes up in the middle of her nap too.)

I'm really tempted to just give in and let her have just a 45 min. nap in the mornings, but I have the following concerns:

1. Is it a good idea overall? (I think she does need the second half of the nap because she usually wakes up not too happy; she seems a bit rested but not enough, often yawning and not her usual energetic self.)

2. Is it too early to give up? (After all, we've only been doing this for a week. However, I've seen so much improvement in her overall sleep pattern and daily routine. It's just this one problem that doesn't go away.)

3. If I did let her have a shorter morning nap, I have no idea how to reorganize her EASY routine. After all, I can't fit in two shorter naps + two shorter A times before her next feeding time. This would mess up her whole day.  :-\

I would really, really appreciate your advice! Thank you in advance!

M.

Offline weaver

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Re: Started EASY 3 days ago / problem with the morning nap
« Reply #4 on: June 20, 2014, 19:20:01 pm »
Hi again,
Glad you hear you're seeing an improvement overall.  Great news :)

By all means, just let her have a 45 min nap in the morning, if you feel that's the right thing to do.  BW is about listening to your baby (and yourself), not following a set routine or schedule.  I get the impression though that you'd rather she had a longer nap, so ...

Have you tried other ways of teaching sleep apart from PU/PD?  Personally, I'm not sure PU/PD would work too well for a touchy baby, I know mine would've gone bananas! I used lots of sh-pat, so if her WU is very predictable, go in to her room, say, five mins before she wakes and pat, etc.  Have a look here:
How do I address habitual wakings? (wake-to-sleep and other methods)

Did you try a shorter wind-down?  Was that any better?  If you change A time, you do need to stick with it for 3 days or so, just to give LO a shot at getting used to it.
*Anne*, loving mama to a honeybee (2010) and a sweetpea (2012).  BF for 4 proud years.


Offline Magdalena S

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Re: Started EASY 3 days ago / problem with the morning nap
« Reply #5 on: June 26, 2014, 17:20:14 pm »
Thank you so much for even more helpful tips, Anne!

For the last few days, I did give shush-pat a shot, but it was kind of difficult to do. My LO simply moves too much and there is no way she'll let me turn her on her side in her crib to have access to her back. The only way she'd let me do the shush-pat was over my shoulder, but then she quickly figured out that whenever she cried, I'd pick her up, so that started creating a habit I really didn't want to encourage. I guess babies are just a lot smarter when they're 5-6 months old.  ::) Also, I found that with me doing the shush-pat, my LO started putting less effort into self-soothing herself and just wanted me to carry her around. Lastly, (and I don't know if it's somehow related) her naps kind of started getting even shorter (30-35 min). I tried W2S as well, but because I couldn't do the shush-pat on her back, I just stroked her tummy and thigh (which she likes a lot) and she still ended up waking up.  :(

The shorter wind-downs worked out very well, though. As long as my LO is not too tired, it turns out she only needs about 15 min. It does take a bit longer in the afternoons when she's more tired. Her optimal A time, I noticed, is between 1 hr 45 min to max. 2 hrs.

Overall, we're still struggling with the shorter naps and I did have to go back to PU/PD as of yesterday. As I'm sure you can imagine, yesterday was a nightmare (lots of crying, overtiredness, etc.), but today was a bit better. My LO even took her first 1 hr 15 min nap in a long time this morning. I'll stick with PU/PD for the next two weeks and see how it goes. I'll definitely post about our results. Perhaps sharing our experience will help someone else out there.

Thank you again for your thoughtful advice! We really, really appreciate it. :)