Hi Yidi,
I totally understand the not wanting to rock or feed to sleep, but at one week old he is extremely unlikely to be able to fall asleep without help and it's completely natural for him to want to fall asleep feeding. DS is three weeks old and much as I'd love him to be able to do it himself, the reality is that's probably just unrealistic at this age and I'm trying just to let it go a little and enjoy the newborn stage as much as I can.
I've been trying to learn his tired cues (here it seems to be getting a little jerky with movements and appearing more animated, followed by starting to fuss) and then trying to get him down for a nap. Worth bearing in mind newborn A time is probably less than an hour total, so you may need to start a winddown for sleep almost as soon as you've fed and changed nappy. Also, I've noticed DS will always turn towards me and root when tired, but I know if he's had a good feed recently that he doesn't need feeding so I tend not to offer again. What's working at the moment here (well, some of the time) is a version of shh pat but in my arms, either shh-ing or white noise, close hold and patting his hip/bottom with one hand. Once he's asleep I try to put him down, but often it takes a couple of goes. If I hold him for longer before putting down he's more likely to stay asleep, but that's not always easy to do with a toddler at home. I'm kind of hoping this version of shh pat will naturally allow me to put him down a bit more awake as and when he's ready for it. Later in the day naps tend to be more in arms, car, pushchair etc - basically wherever they will happen!! I'm trying to take the view that it's about survival at this stage
.
The other things I've been focussing on are differentiating night from day, establishing a bedtime routine, and trying to establish a very loose EAS pattern. DS is pretty much always OT by bedtime but has to fit around DDs routine at the moment so tends to feed to sleep after a quick bath. It's certainly far from perfect but we're all getting through the day and I keep telling myself he won't be this little for long. With DD I had no clue about EASY, and didn't worry myself at all about props (hadn't even heard the term to be honest). Yet she still managed to be an independent sleeper by four months
. So don't despair, do what you need to do to get you all some rest and then maybe in a few weeks time you'll find you can start to put him down a bit more awake and encourage independent sleeping.
Hope that helps xx
