Anyone want to talk about the 2-1 transition #27

[Green007]

Well, it's been awhile since I've been on! Trying to get caught up on everything I've missed. We travelled back east on June 28th and what a wonderful month (sleep wise) we had. C was going to bed between 7-8...waking between 7-8...napping 2-2.5 a day with 5A on both sides of the nap. That 3 hour time difference was wonderful! Now, here we are back on the west coast and of dear! What a mess. We've been home a little over a week and C has only napped 2 hours 1 day (actually it was 1h50 mins) other days have been 30-50 min naps...somedays 2 short naps. I don't understand why the schedule back there would not work here? I go back to work in 3 weeks and I was soooooo hoping to have her figured out...I really need her on a set schedule...but it's not happening and I'm so defeated. I've put so much effort into her "schedule" and now it's a complete mess. Why oh why couldn't she be so easy going when it comes to sleep like my son?!? Wake ups are never the same time...naps never the same time...meals never the same time...bedtime never the same time. With me going back to work...I'm not sure how that is going to work!!! Ugh ugh and a huge UGH!!

[lauradj]

Hugs to you!  I'm in the same boat    My DS was great for a week, 7-7 and a two hour nap between 11:30-1:30.  Now all of that has fallen off the grid and it's making any future changes much more difficult.  He's been waking at 6:15/6:30 the last five mornings and only napping for 1.5 mid-day so he's just wiped by 6.  I was hoping if I pushed him for a 6:45 bed time, he'd sleep later but that doesn't work so we're going back to a 6:30pm bed time.  At least that way I know he's getting 12 hours.
I just wish he'd sleep until 7am so I would be more at ease with pushing his A time to 11:45 or noon.  I need to get him to a 12:30pm nap time in the next two weeks for day care and it's stressing me out!  Our first day is tomorrow so I'm going to talk with the Head teacher to see what our options are.  Argh!!!

[Green007]

Laura...isn't it horrid? We are getting 5-6am wake ups...I'm happy with anything past 6. But she too starts daycare...I can't imagine how that is going to go. I tried 15-20 mom nap this am at 9:45...then put her back to bed at 12. She slept 45 mins. I truly cannot win. I can't have a life...I can't do anything because she is all over the place. Add my son in the mix and we have zero matching meal or nap or bed or wake times. I know I have A LOT to be grateful for ...and lord knows I am...but man I'm sad and frustrated and defeated. Please let me know what the daycare says! How old is your LO again?

[lauradj]

My DS is almost 1, his birthday is on the 10th!    My hubby seems to recall the teacher saying they can accommodate but the manager seems to feel that all the babies will go down at 12:30 and that is that.  I just have to remember that she's in a different role, she manages the day care, the infant Head Teacher looks after all the babies.  Fingers crossed I have some clarification tomorrow.
We put T to sleep just before 6:30pm tonight so he should, in theory, get 12 hours of sleep.  However he may sleep longer because he woke at 8:15 with a nightmare  . I HATE when he has nightmares, they're so sad!!  It only took 20 minutes to re-settle him but that can add an hour to his sleep, the emotional strain I suppose.
I'm sure if I extend his A time a little more in the morning, he'll sleep longer mid-day but I tried today and it just did not happen.  I think because  we had people over for brunch, he got over stimulated and then crashed.  I'll try again tomorrow, after our first 45 minute visit at day care! 
 

[lauradj]

Ok, I thought today was going to go totally sideways because T woke at 5:30am!!!  However, his first visit to daycare clearly kept him going long enough that, with lunch included, I was able to keep him up until noon!!  That's a REALLY long morning for him but he seemed ok.  What a huge leap as well. 
Also, after this morning DH and I chatted and agreed that we need to continue putting T to bed at 6:45, just as we always have, even if he's super tired.  We've been quite inconsistent this past weekend by, differing by 15-45 minutes, because he was waking up at different times and playing hard but we've decided to go back to a set bed time and T will be just fine.  Sigh...this is by far the most challenging transition I've experienced yet!

[Green007]

That's really great that he pulled off the long morning A! Hopefully it keeps on trending that way! I'm uncertain as what to do as well...A time verses set nap and BT's. She'll be 14 months on the 19th...maybe it's time to make that leap?! I'm just wondering if I do that...does it get worse before it gets better? And what do I do if her nap is junk? Nap her again later or leave her be?

[Kellyjs]

Hey green007. As you know we did and still do set nap and BT. It's not too bad, O got used to it quite quickly. I think she was just happy to have something a little more consistent as was I!

She did get a touch of OT but as long as I kept her A to bed shorter than the morning she was ok. Had a few EW and 10hr nights, but we just powered through. If the nap is particularly rubbish (I normally cap at 2hrs), so anything less I just put her to bed for the time she's missed iykwim? Tbh she's not done less than 1.5hrs so the set BT has still worked as you can do 30mins earlier. Hope I haven't jinxed myself now  . Hth x

Sounds like it's going well your end Lauradj x

[Green007]

Kelly, I totally understand what u are saying...but...for example..today she woke at 6:38...in bed at 11:30...asleep by 11:33..up at 12:08. So what do I do here? Keep her up to her set bedtime at 7? Or put her back in around 2:30/3:00?

[lauradj]

Oooo, if that was my DS I'd probably give him a cat nap but he has high sleep needs.

[Kellyjs]

Yep, I'd probably try for a CN. At least you offered then! If he refuses, so be it! Then the next day if look at extending that A again. Unless you think that was an OT nap for your LO? X

[Green007]

That's the problem, I'm not sure if it's OT or UT? I get longer naps (45mins -1.5h) if I put her in after 4h45 A...which makes no sense because 2 weeks ago (back east) she was doing 5h10min A and sleeping 2.5h...we came back west and I tried following exact same schedule and it was a complete bust. So I honestly don't know :S

[Green007]

Oh and yesterday I put her back to nap 3 hours after that 30minnap ended... and she slept an hour.

[Kellyjs]

Anything different activity wise? Ie was she out more there or here? Might have a bearing on how tired she is?

[Green007]

We do the same -ish things each day. Wake, eat, play with brother, walk, quick park stop, eat then nap. I don't know what to do. Yesterday I put her in after 4h45 A time and she slept 2h20 mins. I'll do the same today and it'll be 30-40 mins. There's no consistency. All I know is that in 3 weeks time her nap will be at 12:30-1:00 at the dayhome. I don't know how to get her from here to there in 3 weeks? Aside from going cold turkey and setting naps at 12:30/1:00 and BT 7:30/8:00 and that's it...if she only naps 30-40 mins? Then what do I do? Keep on trucking in hopes she'll adjust? Or add in CN nonsense? I'm
So over this. I've read every book out there...I've read Baby Whisperer front to back about a billion times...I've poured about a degrees worth of research, time and effort into this...and it's just not working. This A time stuff will not fly at the dayhome. She will be expected to be on a similar schedule as the other children. So, I'm
Probay better off setting naps and BT now and dealing with the OT and NW and EW ...I just need to know it'll sort itself out...any advice? Suggestions at all??

[Kellyjs]

Poor you hun sending you ((hugs)). It does suck immensely. I know what you mean.. Think we could all get a degree out of this perhaps? 

You know what? I think save yourself the heartache and set it now. You know she's capable of the 5hrs A because she did it before. You're not necessarily jumping her to come thing you know she can't do. I presume you're going back to work? If so, I'd do it now and deal with all the  OT mess that may happen whilst you're still at home. You've got 3 weeks, it should ride itself out by then provided something developmental or teething doesn't come in too xx