Author Topic: 4.5 month wakes up multiple times between 9pm bedtime and 11pm dream feed  (Read 6651 times)

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Offline rebemuri

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Hi there moms (and dads!!) I have read such enlightening threads and great advice from all of you that I am hoping someone might be able to shed some light on why my 4 month old wakes up soooo many times between 9pm and his dream feed at 11pm.
He is on a 4 hour EASY (or 3.5 hour as we are in the transition to 4 hours). He has hardly EVER slept through from 9pm to the dream feed. But the worst part is not just that he wakes up... it is that he will wake up a gazillion times in those 2 hours! I guess he thinks it is just another nap, and his naps are always very short (30 min each, with a few exceptions.) I have considered that he is probably overtired due to his short naps during the day, but even on those few occasions when he has had great naps during the day he still wakes up constantly before the dream feed.
Pleeeaaasseeee any advice you can give will be much appreciated! This 9-11 period is my only time to myself in the whole day (since with 30 min naps, I can barely take a shower!)
Thanks so much.
Rebeca
Rebeca

Offline Martika

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Hi Rebeca

I'm afraid I don't have an answer to your question, but I also posted about my 6 month old waking after having slept for a while when going to bed. There seems to be some similarity. It started when she was 4.5 months old and had a growth spurt. Still waiting for it to settle. Can I ask you what time he goes to bed and how soon he wakes up for the first time? Sometimes I wonder if my DD considers it to be another nap too but have no idea why she started doing it.
I do hope we'll find answers and solutions soon (PLEASE!)

Offline rebemuri

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Hi, Martika!! Thanks a lot for reaching out! Interesting that you went / are going through something similar. At least now I know I am not alone! LOL
DS goes to bed at around 8:45pm or 9pm, and begins to wake up anywhere between 9:15 and 9:30... and it just doesn't stop. He won't settle. We are now at a point (of desperation) that we are rocking him to sleep at that time just to make sure he really does sleep quickly so we can get SOME time to ourselves. I know we shouldn't, but I truly can't do PU/PD all day long PLUS a gazillion times between 9 and 11pm. I need a break!
Really looking forward to someone's advice.
Thanks a lot!
Rebeca

Offline jessmum46

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Sounds like he's overtired.....can you post your whole day in EAS format? (Though don't worry if it's not necessarily in EAS order)

Offline rebemuri

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Thanks!! Will be great to have your thoughts on this one. Here's my DS EAS:
E: 8:00AM
S: 10:00-10:30AM (a few days, he will sleep until 12:00)
E: 11:45AM
S: 1:00-1:30PM
E: 3:30PM
S: 4:00pm-4:30pm
S: 6:30pm-7:00pm
E: 7:00PM
S: 9:00PM (this should be bedtime but this is when the multiple wake ups begin: at 9:30PM, 9:45, 10:15, etc)
E (dream feed): 11:00PM
Thanks a lot for your support! Any help I can get will be much appreciated!
Rebeca

Offline jessmum46

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First A time looks good, I'd be working on 2h-2h15 at this age.  But after a short nap you almost certainly need to reduce that A time right down, so possibly to as short as 1h30-45 so LO isn't OT going down for the next nap.  If all naps are short you may need to be aiming for LO to nap 4/5/6 times in the day instead of just 3 times.  I know that makes it feel like all you do is try to get LO to sleep, but if you can get him caught up a bit some of those naps might start to lengthen.  I'd also bring BT earlier while napping isn't good, maximum 12h day ie 8pm bedtime instead of 9pm which will help minimise the OT somewhat.  What do you think?

Will he do a long nap anywhere eg car or stroller so you could do that once a day or so?

Offline rebemuri

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I had never thought of reducing A time, so that sounds to me like a potentially great idea that I will begin to implement now! Hope it works.
DS hates the car seat. Only way that he will sleep longer is when held. Even then he might wake up but will fall back asleep very quickly. Would you recommend holding him for a few days in the 9-11pm window (now 8 to 11pm based on your advice), and see if he gets used to sleeping through til dream feed?
By the way, it means a lot to have someone reach out and share advice when you're in the middle of what seems to be a never-ending tiring ordeal... so THANKS A LOT!
Rebeca

Offline jessmum46

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No problem :-* this place was a lifesaver for me when DD was small - and still is to be honest! 

I think I would continue to put LO in his bed at bedtime, the thought being that if he isn't so OT he shouldn't wake so much.  You don't want to risk a holding prop developing at BT.  I would try adjusting the A times in the day, maybe hold him for a long nap in the afternoon to minimise OT as best you can if it's all going wrong.  Then try again tomorrow :)

Offline rebemuri

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Just wanted to report back on progress! We did take a step forward today. I shortened DS's A time as you suggested, and his last nap (in the crib) was 2 hours and 45 minutes long!! So that was encouraging.  :)
The not-so-positive part was that he woke up from that long nap at 5:45PM, so I couldn't squish in another nap after that. I wanted him to be asleep by 8PM max, but couldn't get him to sleep until 8:45. By then, I'm sure he was OT so the frequent wakings from 8:45 to 11PM continued. Must have woken up at least 5 or 6 times in that small window.  :(
But hey, he did have one LOOOONG nap where I could get a LOT done, and I'll try it again tomorrow. If I follow your advice to keep his A time shorter and can consistently get him to sleep at 8PM, I am hopeful that the frequent wakings will stop.
Thanks again!!
Rebeca

Offline Martika

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It's great to hear there is some progress here as well!!! :) Well done on getting a long nap from him! Though, I believe, you shouldn't let him sleep for more than 2 hours. TBH, I'm the worst to wake up my DD up when I have to cap her nap. Sometimes it took me so much effort to get a proper nap from her and then I had to wake her - hated it!!! Though, it didn't happen very often, but still... But it's all for their benefit :)
I believe if you manage to get your DS out of this OT cycle his multiple waking should stop. At least it seems to be the case with my DD. Tough, we are still not out of the woods - back to some short napping and OT. I have to extend her A time and get her naps back on track. Just when I thought we cracked it...  ::)

Offline rebemuri

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I don't want to jinx it, but DS has been asleep since BT for 50 minutes now!!! This is a FIRST for me, so you can imagine the thrill!  ;D
As suggested, I reduced A time and DS did 5 naps today, each 30 minutes long. I also put him to bed earlier... was sound asleep by 8:10PM. Although it's early to call it a victory, it seems that the advice was right on! Of course, 5 naps during the day is a lot, but hopefully his napping will get better too with time.
Martika: Thanks for your advice too! It will definitely be hard to wake up DS from a nap... I will feel like I am crazy since that is all I try to do: get him to nap well, but you're right... that is probably too long a nap and could back-fire. Why do you think they shouldn't sleep for more than 2 hours? Could they get their day and night sleep time confused?
Rebeca

Offline jessmum46

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Great job!  I'm so glad you've seen improvement :D

The decision to wake from naps at 2h is an individual one.  On a regular basis I probably wouldn't let LO nap for too much longer than that at a time, as long naps may well rob from the night time sleep or make it difficult to get decent naps for the rest of the day.  But personally when LO is very OT and in need of a catch up, I wouldn't tend to wake at all unless it was going to interfere with bedtime.

Offline rebemuri

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Gosh, ladies, you REALLY know your stuff!  ;D  Your advice was right on. DS woke up only ONCE yesterday in the 8PM-11PM window. I'll repeat today and will let you know of progress.
Rebeca

Offline Martika

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 :D well done!!!

Offline jessmum46

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