So we really need some help. STing a v spirited 13mo-it's not going to be pretty

[ZacsMumme]

Oh love it is hard. I cried in Toms room when I had to ST him.

Do you think the shying is working? - I really think maybe she would respond better to you not being in the room rather than actively shying/near the cot. What do you think?

[jessmum46]

Hugs hun, holding your hand too as you wait.  Fwiw I also agree with Sara - I'd get out of there and give her space to settle xx

[*Liz*]

(((Hugs)))

I wonder if it is a case of 'near yet so far' making her so cross  . Especially since you lying with her has resulted in playing, messing and all sorts in the past.

Thing is, even if she is UT, she should be able to lie in her cot, cuddle her lovey and chatter to herself for a bit.

It once helped me to remember that it becomes a battle of wills. I was just about to cave in (with DS who is rather spirited with sleep!), when I suddenly wondered why I was going to? And lose to a 15 month old. It was almost like as soon as I had that thought he started to settle. Must have sensed I was determined  .

I always prefered to ST myself. I think I felt better being 'in the thick of it', but it is obviously different when there is a BFing issue as well  .

Lots of love 

[ZacsMumme]

It once helped me to remember that it becomes a battle of wills. I was just about to cave in (with DS who is rather spirited with sleep!), when I suddenly wondered why I was going to? And lose to a 15 month old. It was almost like as soon as I had that thought he started to settle. Must have sensed I was determined  .

This is totally me with T too. I had to think differently. I'm the mum, I can do this. I can be more patient than a toddler. I won't give in.

[cuckoochick]

Thanks ladies. I've talked to DH and got him to agree that he won't shhh. I asked him if he thought she'd settle better without him and he felt nervous about it too that she was yelling so much with him there. She was upset when DH took her away from me into her bedroom. He is sure that she was so mad because she wanted to be with me. I know she is cross and I know that we need to keep going but tonight it felt really awful, like I was doing something horrible to her. I think that combined with her not being that tired meant she had a lot of fight in her. I'm solo tomorrow night as DH is at work so fingers crossed that will go ok.

She didn't end up settling until 8:30 again tonight. Her day was
7:30
Nap 1-2:30
We were aiming for BT at around 7:45-8pm. After a 1.5hr nap, I knew she wouldn't go to sleep after 5hrs.

Maybe we'll need to try WI/WO but I'm worried to do that tomorrow night when I'm on my own, although I can't sit in there for an hr while she's screaming either as C will be on her own and she's finding the crying distressing. Maybe she'd be ok with the iPad but I don't like doing that for ages unless I really have to.

Thanks for holding my hand through this. X

[4isstillnighttime]

Good luck tonight xxxxxxx

[<Catherine>]

Good luck honey, stay strong x

[Sarah - Enfys' Mum]

Good luck for tonight. You can do it.

[*Liz*]

Thinking of you  . But also thinking of all those lovely evenings you will get back soon as well. I know it has been pretty rough for you  .

[cuckoochick]

Not going so well. I foolishly thought I could maybe just feed her a bit but now realise CT seems to be the only way. Feel so cruel and downright horrible. She's v cross. C is in bed with the iPad- been almost 40mins now and G is showing no signs of settling. I've probably made it all much worse.

[cuckoochick]

Now she's started playing

[4isstillnighttime]

Although that's a bit frustrating, it proves that she's not really unhappy! She sounds so cute!

I shouldn't worry too much about C, she sounds sensible and can enjoy some iPad time.

When I STd I used to  keep saying in my head "they aren't sad, they are tired and cross, and they will definitely go to sleep in the end". Which is true, but hard to remember sometimes. And every awful BT you get through is one closer to the end result of independent sleep.

The other thing I used to do was reward myself. So, for every 5 mins of screaming I got a square of green and blacks salted caramel chocolate.....mmmm

Keep going. We are all cheering you on!

[jessmum46]

Here with you hun, keep it up

[lolsyb1982]

I've just had to sleep train my 16mo again after a few months of constant rocking whilst she was teething and then devopmental.

The first night it took 2 hrs of wi/wo and DH was away on a stag weekend that night. It was horrendous (and a large glass of wine was called for once she finally gave in) but most of the crying was anger and frustration not truly upset.

She caught on pretty quickly and within a week I am now walking out, she whinges for 30 secs and then puts herself to sleep. I never thought we would get there again but we did and you will too.

Like pp said it was only once my attitude changed to it being a battle of wills and enough was really enough that I could follow it through. Wish I'd done it weeks earlier!

Good luck 

[ZacsMumme]

Hang in there Hun. Tonight sounds lie, it was extra tough without DH there so hopefully tomorrow (is he home..?) if he is there things will be easier on you and you can both make a good go of it over the next few days.

Are you doing WI/WO now?