So we really need some help. STing a v spirited 13mo-it's not going to be pretty

[cuckoochick]

Thanks ladies, your support means a lot. I couldn't do WI/WOnas I was on my own and when I did pop out just to check on C she was beside herself. I was pretty much just sat in the room silent for the most part, saying our sleepy phrase when she was really upset and lying her down occasionally. Her little chest was heaving with the sobbing but eventually she did just settle, started rolling around and was silent for about 10mins and then went to sleep. I know how ridiculous it sounds me being sat there while she's messing around but tonight wasn't the night to start WI/WO. DH will be here tomorrow night so we can do it then although actually I'll need to start tomorrow at nap time. G is having immunisations tomorrow so hope they don't throw her off kilter.  What exactly do we do? Is there a sticky? Never done it before as once we STed C that was it.

Bless C was such an angel. She pretty much watched the entire Toy Story 2. I finally got downstairs at 8:45pm as G went to sleep at 8:30 again. She fell asleep early in the car for her nap today but as I wanted to get her BT earlier I thought it wouldn't hurt to have her up earlier in the afternoon to ensure a long enough A to bed but it just bit me on the bum with her being up until 8:30pm anyway! Need to get that sorted too as it's now 9pm, I've sat down with a coffee and am meant to be starting some planning for my new job which I'm so stressed about.

I am really sad about giving up BFing like this. It feels a bit of a trauma for us both but I'm not sure there  is a way around it because she wants boobs at BT.

Thank you all for your support. Xxx

[<Catherine>]

It'll be worth all this heartache real soon hun, it doesn't take long for the penny to drop with these little ones. Holding your hand and kicking your bum (gently) when you need it xxx

[*Liz*]

There is a sticky for WIWO on here somewhere  .

Basically though you put them down, say goodnight and sleepy phrase and walk out. Stand at door and listen - when they cry return and say the sleepy phrase and walk out again. No waiting to settle etc. Only return for an 'I need you cry' and stay out for anything else (catering, whinging, fussing, mantraing). I think the trick is SLOW with this one. Really listen etc, otherwise you end up in and out like a yo-yo and wind both of you up. A few deep breaths to listen and think is often what you both need to have a chance to settle. When I used it one of my kids used to WAIL as I turned and walked out, a great big scream, but it would soon settle into something far more sensible iyswim?

If you can get WIWO to work it is a great tool. Mine used to realise when I was about to start it, just remember from before, and actually it is pretty boring so they would tend to just settle pretty quick afterwards.

GW has never worked for me. I found WIWO pretty easy with DD as she is a pretty textbook baby/toddler. DS has always been harder for everything  , but with GW he would just never stop. I wonder if for some kids it is just quite confusing? Too tempting to just keep going?

[cuckoochick]

Yes for sure, I mean I know giving her a tiny BF won't have  helped but she was fighting it all the more for ME. I know for a fact that if DH had been there she'd have settled MUCH quicker. Such a little monkey. Right WI/WO tomorrow it is then. She's screaming anyway (for the vast majority of the time) so I suppose we don't really have much to lose.

I was upset tonight because my living room windows were wide open and the monitor was on the windowsill full blast with her screaming. I really hope my neighbours don't think I'm leaving her to CIO.

[*Liz*]

Most people don't think much about crying kids honey - I mean - it is pretty normal isn't it??

Usually when I overhear one it just makes me smile the next time they are telling me their child/ niece/ grandchild etc is a little angel  .

[ZacsMumme]

I honestly think Hun if you stick with WI/WO for 3 days you will see vast improvement and have the confidence to carry on. Get some earplugs if you find the long period of crying hard. They do take the edge off (I needed them doing WI/WO because even out of the room I struggled )

I assume DH is home now for a good 3-5 days so you can do WI/WO with support? It's really hard doing solo bt during st so well done Hun

[cuckoochick]

Giving WI/WO a try now for nap time. I'm stood outside of her door. She's crying but she's not really screaming. I'm holding back. Hoping that she'll settle much quicker than with me being in there. Also wishing I'd have had an excuse of an errand to run so that she could have fallen asleep in the car!

She's doing ok. Sort of crying and talking.

[cuckoochick]

Ladies she did it!!!!!! I didn't even have to go back in. At some points she was laughing, others shouty crying but at no point did she CIO. She went to sleep on her own!!!!!'
I should know to trust you ladies!!! Thank you 😘😘😘
PS she did this at around 7mos too for her nap but never at BT. Fingers crossed tonight goes ok.

[<Catherine>]

Wooooo!!!! See, Mummy?! Don't underestimate Miss G! Well done you and loads of luck for later xx

[Aishi]

Hi hon. I've been reading along. I dont have much to add cos I ST my spirited dd when she was tiny so not sure how i would handle it had she been older.

But just wanted to add (((hugs))) and let u know you're doing great with her. Fwiw I did have to use wiwo once with dd when she had gotten into a habit of call backs for huggles after an illness. It was brutal cos she got sooo angry and cried and screamed a lot but I stuck with it and within a few days she was back to IS. I'm sure u know this but consistency is key especially with spirited los. As u know give an inch and they take several miles

Good luck x

[jessmum46]

Great job hun!  Knew you (and she) could do it xx

[cuckoochick]

Well I knew BT wouldn't be as easy. Fingers crossed.

[ZacsMumme]

Well done love. I always found naps easier than bt too...just trust she can and will do it. You got some choc and wine ready for once she's asleep?

[jessmum46]

Here with you hun.  Take confidence in the fact she did it earlier.  Means she can do it again hang in there xx

[cuckoochick]

Should I be staying with her until she's calm? Everytime I leave she loses the plot. It feels like going in is making it worse but she's thrashing around and really yelling. I rubbed her back and she calmed but as I left she just roars and isn't really settling.