How do I start or where?

[nurse2003]

Ok. Baby number 3
Others kids are 6 & 8. 8 yr old was 6 months of colic barley slept and we eventually did Ferber. 6yr old totally different personality, put down awake from day 1. Never a sleep issue. Was on easy no problem
Now this baby....born at 36 weeks. Major issues with reflux and gas and born with cleft  lip. Never got into good habits. Lots of baby wearing for sleeps cause if not-  often wouldn't sleep more then 30 min. On his own then got OT and I'm sure I over feed him for the easy ways out
Had surgery last week for lip. Can't baby wear or be tummy to tummy or have soother.
I know he's been through a lot. Also touchy baby. Happy at times but easy over stim and hard to keep ahoy during A time. I can tell that at 1.5hr he is ready to sleep.
I know he's been through lots with surgery but I gotta get him on routine!  He still often eats every 2 hrs in the. Day!!!   Know I started bad habits this week for sanity. At nap time would swaddle let him soothe with me as soother them sleep in my arms just to combat his OT.
Today I'm trying not to do that. Was successful times one getting him to sleep without sucking and down in his bed but awake in five min. Resettled easy when I picked up and back done for maybe 20 min. Awake again. Tried to resettle again but after five mini I gave up and let me nurse and he's asleep in my arms but every so often looks to suckle.
Tried sush pat in his bed. Find he just gets more restless and arches and it's challenging with his lip to watch we don't bump it
We are camping this weekend but would like to try to be strong and get easy going next week but I feel I don't know where or how to start.
My older boys need me and I need some major Y!!!!
TIA for advice

[ZacsMumme]

Hey there,
Forgive me if I have missed this but how old is your baby boy now?
Is the reflux under control? Is he on any meds, or thickeners etc for it?

I have had two boys with silent reflux and one also has food intolerances and I can promise you these bad habits we create, they can be undone when our babies are in discomfort we just have to survive, we just have to get through the bad patch best we can. So try not to worry about the AP, you can't ST a baby in pain anyway so you may as well find what works and do that (we even had a recliner in my DS2s room)

Does he respond to swaddling?
How long does he need to have no baby wearing or soother?

Sorry so many Qs and lots of hugs x