So many problems, don't know where to start with 16 month old

[HazelB]

Hi, I have been lurking for a while but I am hoping you can help.
Bit of background - my DS is 16 months, he is on Omeprazole for silent reflux and is dairy free. He woke hourly until 9 months ish and then 3 hourly until he learnt to self settle at 12 months and he now mostly only wakes one or twice a night. He is/was a very high needs spirited boy, he never stays still for more than a minute!
Anyway, since he reached 12 months ish he started taking 2hours+ to go to bed at night. I thought this was a sign he needed to drop to one nap as he was also fighting his second nap and quite often would have one nap at 9-10 and stay up until 6 if he refused his afternoon nap.
We swayed between one nap and two for a couple of months but now in the last month or so I decided to give up on the second nap completely.
The main problem with this is he is a 5am waker and really struggles to make it past 10am so we have been doing 10-12 nap and 6pm bedtime. But even with one nap it is taking at least an hour to nap and two hours to bed. I am also lucky if he sleeps for more than an hour for a nap most daays.
The other problem we have is at least 4/7 nights a week he will be awake for 2hours during the night somewhere between 12-4. This has been going on since the 9 month sleep regression. He doesn't want to play he tries to fall asleep but it just takes forever.
And lastly since the taking forever to go to bed thing, he hates bedtime as soon as I say bedtime he starts crying, he won't even let me read a story :-(.
Sorry this is long, I am at my wits end I don't know how to fix things!

[Buttonbobs]

Hi there, sorry you're having a tough time.

Do you feel like his reflux is under control? It's very hard for LOs to settle when they're uncomfortable at all. I'm going to ask for some others to take a look who have experience with this as they'll be able to talk with you more about things to try.

My only other suggestions would be that you try to move that nap later. I know he's not doing well with a longer morning, but if you move the nap later slowly he might start to sleep a bit later in the morning. When you say he's taking an hour to settle for sleep at nap time, what is he doing in that time? Is he crying or playing or angry?

Do you think a shorter afternoon would help him?

((Hugs))

[creations]

Hi there

Have you tried using W2S on that nap to extend it? My thoughts are that he might do better with a more restorative day nap, it could help to relax him enough to not resist BT so much (so get to sleep sooner) and to help him sleep through the night rather than have that restless NW.  Day sleep effects night sleep, if you can get a better nap this could lead to a better night and then you'd be able to move the nap later in the day (which could help shift BT and WU although not necessarily, some just seem to be early risers).
How do I address habitual wakings? (wake-to-sleep and other methods)

When mine dropped to 1 nap (younger than yours though) I had to use W2S a lot to ensure he got a full 2hr nap, eventually he habitualised the 2hr nap again. it was a life saver for me.

What do you think?

(posted same time as BB)

[HazelB]

Thank you, I forgot I posted this!
His reflux is ok, he is teething 6 teeth atm so it does flare up a bit but the sleep thing is consistently bad!
Some days when I do manage to keep him up later he will either have a better nap but then every few days the overtired builds up and he has a 40minute nap then screams his head off when he wakes up but won't go back to sleep.
He had a two hour nap yesterday until 2, but then he didn't go to bed until quarter to 9! He sways between hysterical laughing and hysterical crying while trying to get him to sleep. He has also taken to throwing his teddy out the cot and saying oooh noooo! Which is cute and infuriating at the same time!
I haven't tried wake to sleep, will have a look at that thanks, do you think it would be worth doing the walk in walk out thing? I think sometimes that me being in the room makes him play more but I don't want to leave him to cry?

[Buttonbobs]

It might be worth trying WIWO if he has been an independent sleeper before this last batch of bad sleep. Do you fancy posting some days in EAS format for us to take a look at?

[HazelB]

Yesterday was
Awake during the night from 2-4
A - 6am
E-7
S- 10.30
A - 1 ( that is the longest nap he has ever had but he only slept for 7 1/2 hours the night before so he was really tired)
E - 1.30
E - 5
S - 8pm (we went through at 6.30 took until 8 to get him to sleep)

The day before
Up from 2-4 during the night
A - 7am
E -8
E - 11.30
S - 1 ( went through at 12 took an hour to fall asleep)
A - 2.30 I woke him up or he would never go to bed
E- 5.30
S - 8.30 (took an hour to go to sleep)

[Buttonbobs]

Have you tried W2S at all during the night?

I would suggest if you want to wake from a nap you do it after 2 hours. Once these LOs get onto one nap they need often need longer in one go for it to be restorative.

It really doesn't look like enough sleep over 24 hours. How is his mood when you're trying to get him to sleep?

[HazelB]

He very rarely naps for 2hours, maybe 2-3 times a month. Mostly he sleeps for 1hr 20-30. If he sleeps later than 1pm he won't go to bed until 8pm. He sways between hysterically hyper or upset at bedtime's. He must be overtired but I have no idea how to make him sleep more! When would I wake to sleep at night, he always wales up at different times, or do you mean to stop the early waking?

[Buttonbobs]

It was just in those two days you posted he woke 2-4am. So I thought what about stirring him a little at around midnight/1 and seeing if it prevents the wake up.

[HazelB]

Ah ok thanks I will give it a try!