Help needed with ASAP with today's EASY and how to beat major OT?

[AMJ]

It's 2:30 am DD is up a going and I had a crazy thought. What if I keep giving her a VERY EBT like 4pm then 3pm then 2pm and so on. This should get her caugh up on her sleep and maybe eventually we will get back to 8pm but backwards??? Or am I just going crazy here in the dark?

[lolsyb1982]

No I haven't deviated from the set times apart from one BT. I think if I fiddle around too much we will end up in a mess. Luckily we're still getting a decent nap so think she's used to it now.
I just take her out in the mornings to stop her thinking about being tired and try and avoid longer car journeys as she's guaranteed to nod off then!

I'm not sure I understand what you mean by getting her to 8pm but backwards?

[AMJ]

Maybe I should stop offering earlier nap/BT as well cause that's where we go wrong. Although she be ever really slept in in the mornings so EBT might be the only way for her to catch up(30m early)


Never mind, that backward pushing wouldn't work unless we were going to Europe sooner plus I just realized how crazy it sounds. It must of been my delusional brain thinking at night.

[lilac83]

Although she be ever really slept in in the mornings

My older dd was the exact same way, no matter what time her bedtime was she was up early. She would get OT and still not sleep past 6:30. It hasn't been until this summer that she'll sleep until 7:30 with an 8:30 bedtime. Some kids are just programmed to need an earlier bed and earlier start to the day. If you think 6:30 bed is too late definitely go with 6:00, but I wouldn't do any earlier than that. If she likes waking at 5:30, go for nap between 10:30 and 11. There's nothing wrong with doing things that way. Are you a morning person? If not, that would be the only drawback but it would probably get much better when she's nearer 2 and definitely when she drops the nap.

[AMJ]

She only slept past 6am a handful of times. Honestly I don't know who she got early rising from, definitely not from me or my husband. We both need to sleep in

Thanks so much!

[lolsyb1982]

K hasn't slept in past 6am since she was really small. I've just come to terms with the fact that she's an early riser and it doesn't bother me so much now as long as she's had sufficient sleep.
One day she will start to sleep in later, until then I shall continue to enjoy my evenings. As much as I'd love a 7am start I'd hate an 8pm bedtime 

[AMJ]

you ladies are both right, and i wouldn't mind this early rising(5;30/6;00 would be acceptable but not 4:45/5) if we had the days consistent.

[AMJ]

How long did it take your LOs to get used to set times? The longest we've been on them was 1month and then we had to travel and the different time zone made us start over.

After a 5:20 BT yesterday and a 12hr day she finally slept throughout the night for 11hra15m, only the WU was at 4:35am  then after 5hrs50m of A napped for only 1.5hrs and WU screaming. I could just see that such a long A before the nap even after a great night was too long for her. I'm so scarred of those set times again. She will start waking at night again for lengthy periods, have EWUs and short naps. And the worst thing is that I can't resettle her. Ever. It's ridiculous

[lolsyb1982]

When you did it for a month did you notice any difference?

I would say it took a good week or two. We did set times more to try and fix the early starts and luckily DD coped with the long A straight away. It took that long before BT stopped being a nightmare and we started getting consistent 11hr ns with no NW.

That was great for 2/3 weeks before something else disrupted it!

I think you will definitely need to try for a week. When are you travelling again?

[AMJ]

The early WU never got better. At that time she didn't really have lengthy NWUs so she slept through only her nights were 10hrs long. Her nap would lengthen a bit once the she got through the OT  but then it would start to get shorter again and then we traveled again. Once we got to our destination we did set naps again but obviously it was different time because of 8hr time difference. But again set times worked for a very bit and then they went back to short nights/naps and we traveled again.

We are traveling again in 3 weeks and then staying there for 5weeks and traveling again. After that we will be staying in one place for a long time.

I know for a fact that it won't get better in one week or even 2 weeks. Plus if I set the BT at 6:30pm she would probably WU at 4:30 unless the lengthy NWUs would push the WU later

Does it matter if I start set times from BT or I should start in the morning with a nap?

Also today for example our day was like this

BT 5:17pm

WU 4:35am
Crib 9:50 was very OT even after 11hr15m night
Nap 10:15 (1hr33m)

WU 12:48
And at 4pm she looked like she was ready for bed. TIRED
Crib 5:00 crying and can't fall asleep
BT 5:50

So it seems like she needs a 12hr day but she won't sleep 12hrs at night! How is this possible? Or maybe if I keep giving her 12hr days for some time she might start sleeping 12hrs at night? The only problem is that her BT will shift VERY early.

What do you think if I try

WU 6:00 (5:30)
Nap 11:00 because it seems like 5hrs ofA is the most she can handle without getting OT
BT 6:00 only I don't know when to put her in the crib cause she takes so long to fall asleep

[lilac83]

So it seems like she needs a 12hr day but she won't sleep 12hrs at night! How is this possible?

I'm not sure how to quote on my iPad but that bit up there means she's not ready for 1 nap. She's probably sososo close, which is why 2 naps don't work anymore. Unfortunately, the only way around that is do alternate nap days or short AM/long PM naps, but you said that wasn't working either if I remember correctly. Have you ever tried acting like the 5 PM was bedtime but then waking her after 30 minutes and putting her back down at 7/7:30 for real bedtime?

The 12 hour night is a myth. Sure you'll see some kids do that, just like some will do a 13/14 hour night if they're OT, but the vast majority of kids do 11/11.5 hour nights.

[AMJ]

Hi

I did try for a second nap lots of times. The first day after traveling I always give 2 naps and she takes it but for sure thinks that the 2nd nap is a BT. I wake her and keep her up for 2/2.5hrs. The problem is that then she sleeps only 5hr and the 2/2.5hrs of A become part of the night for her.  The only way to try for it now is to give her a bath before the 2nd nap and breastfeed her then wake her and do it again. I'm not sure if this will confuse her too much?!

You are probably right about not being ready for 1 nap but at 12m we were working with a sleep consultant and she said that it looked like DD is ready for 1 nap. I honestly though the same but I knew she couldn't handle it yet.

I guess set nap/BT  it is and just suck it up 

[lilac83]

Yeah, you're probably too far in now to really be able to backtrack to 2 naps anymore. This was the same problem I had with my older dd - she wasn't ready for 1 nap but there was no way she would do 2 anymore. She had the same problem but to a lesser extent during the 3-2 nap switch as well. How did your dd do during that switch?

I know a lot of people find good results with 4.5 hour A time before the nap in the very beginning, but with the early wakings she'd be taking her nap at 9am! There's just no way that would work unless she slept for 4 hours! I guess what I would do is keep her in her crib for as long as she'll let you in the morning, get out of the house to help keep her occupied but not overstimulated (does she like stroller walks?) and stick with that 10:30 nap. Does she lay in her crib at all after nap or does she want out right away? The good news is, the worst of this should hopefully be over in a month when she's physically able to handle longer A time better. The spring/summer leading up to my older dd turning 2 was an amazing nap time for us, this 12-18 month time period is the pits.

[AMJ]

yep just like you said, the same problem but to a lesser extend during 3-2 transition.

yeah i usually try to keep her in the crib till 6am. it is not that hard to do if she wakes at 5am or later but with 4:30 am WU she can't take it in there for so long and i don't blame her.

this am I took her for a stroller ride. She is not a big fan of it but we did it for about 30m and then just walked outside picking leafs and sticks. She is pretty calm during this walk. After the nap usually i am able to keep her in the crib till it's been 2hrs, but sometimes she is hysterical and i have to get her out.

so you would do nap at 10:30 not 11:00, and BT at 6:00? Gosh i don't know when to put her in the crib for BT. today she took 50m to fall asleep.

i really hope this will end soon. The poor thing is miserable and it feels horrible not being able to help her.

Thanks so very much for your support!!!

[lilac83]

I guess I would aim to have her sleeping sometime between that 10:30/11:00 window depending on when she woke up in the morning and how she's doing. As far as when to put her to bed, I always leave about 20 minutes for my kids to fall asleep. So, with my 13 month old, I want her asleep by 8:00 so have her in her room, all tucked in, by 7:40. Most nights she's out within 5 minutes but she's been known to take an hour while I sit on the couch feeling my blood pressure rise by the second . But honestly, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink, so try not to stress too much. At least she's in her bed, winding down and on her way to going to sleep. Fingers crossed she sleeps past 5 tomorrow!