Author Topic: 16 month old cant self settle  (Read 1001 times)

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Offline Claireb87

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16 month old cant self settle
« on: August 10, 2014, 21:42:24 pm »
Hello.

My daughter is now 16 months old and she isn't able to settle herself to sleep. She refuses a bottle (despite many attempts) and is still breastfed. She won't go to sleep unless she is rocked in our arms dhole walking around and wakes every 2-3 hours during the night.

Background info- she was 5 weeks premature, had medical difficulties for first 6 months and has never slept through the night.

We are finding it increasingly difficult to get her to go yo sleep initially and when she wakes during the night, we can battle for hours to get her back over. Generally she won't settle without me breastfeeding her.

We don't want to leave her crying herself to sleep but would love some advice on what to do. I am exhausted and am struggling to keep going on so little sleep and many battles every night.

Thanks.

Offline kingoo

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Re: 16 month old cant self settle
« Reply #1 on: August 11, 2014, 09:57:40 am »
I have the same problem and looking for solation  ???
May be someone can give some advice please.

Offline deb

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Re: 16 month old cant self settle
« Reply #2 on: August 11, 2014, 10:26:58 am »
At 16 months we had canines coming in. Slowly. One at a time. Over three months. None of the other teeth bothered DD#1 much, but the canines....that's when she learned to sob "Orajel!" at 2AM, over those 3 months. :P

Have you tried pain meds to see if that makes a difference? If so, you're on to something.

Offline jessmum46

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Re: 16 month old cant self settle
« Reply #3 on: August 11, 2014, 10:42:39 am »
Canines may not be helping....but I do think this is probably a self-settling issue too even if teeth are in the mix.  Agree you do need to treat pain if it's there, but if you're ready to stop rocking/walking then I'd suggest using gradual withdrawal as she's never learnt to sleep by herself.  Have a read of this and then let us know if you have any more questions:

The Gradual Withdrawal Method

The key to Gradual Withdrawal is to take tiny steps and make the changes very small at first so the child barely notices them.  Create a plan, broken into small steps of how you will reduce the parental dependence and work towards independence.  For example, patting on the back becomes lighter and lighter until the hand barely brushes the child's back, but is poised just above it.

To implement, follow your bedtime routine being certain that your child has sufficiently wound down from the day.  When wind down is completed, lay your child down, tuck them in and use a phrase they can associate with it's sleep time such as "time to go night-night you can find your blankie/pacifier/suck your thumb/etc. to help you fall asleep." Settle your child in their crib/bed and comfort as you normally would, then implement the first step in your plan.  Depending upon your child's temperament, you may be able to tackle more in less nights, or need to do less over the course of more nights.

The Gradual Withdrawal Method is intended for children that are reliant upon a parent's presence to calm them and help them settle for sleep. Examples are: sitting in the room, holding a child's hand, laying down with a child, patting to sleep, among others.  The idea is to simply reduce the reliance on parental presence gradually and in very small increments so the child continues to settle well and gains confidence in their ability to fall asleep independently.  The parent is there to assist the child in sleeping, but slowly reduces the dependence.  Examples might be: moving a chair closer and closer to the door until out of the room over the course of a few weeks, moving out a child's bed to an air mattress on the floor, then slowly move farther and farther towards the door over time, reducing the length of time patting though still staying with the child - then slowly working closer and closer towards the door.

This is also the best method for a child:
who's undergone controlled crying or crying it out as it helps to regain any trust that may have been broken
who gets very upset, sometimes to the point of vomiting
who does not settle after hours/days/weeks of walk in/walk out

This may also be a good method for a child who is not necessarily dependant on any one thing, but who needs some fundamental training to learn how to sleep independently.

Offline cath~

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Re: 16 month old cant self settle
« Reply #4 on: August 11, 2014, 14:21:06 pm »
I agree with Katherine that it's probably a SS issue and to try the GW method.

Also, perhaps you could post your routine as maybe there's a tweak that could help. Eg, if she's UT at BT then this won't be helping things! Does she have one nap or two?
DD1 - 8 years old
DD2 - 5 years old