Sorry for the slightly late reply, I have DH home this week and it's like having two lo's to take care of!
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I think it's really difficult with nursery. Many lo's don't sleep as well there. As she's only been there a little while, it'll probably take a while to settle in.
I can totally see what you mean by the 3 or 2 45mins naps. Technically, yes, she's getting a little more sleep in total but I think as it's such a long day she's getting OT by the end of it iykwim?
I think I would work on that first A personally. Perhaps extend to 3hrs 45mins and do w2s at around 30 mins to see if that helps the transition to the next sleep cycle. I will post some info about that in a min. But basically you go in at the 30mins point of sleep and very gently stroke their cheek until you hear a little sigh and the breathing pattern changes. Then I would do as you usually do to soothe her back to a deep sleep softly for 10 mins or so until you feel you can quietly back out of the room. What do you think?
Then I would keep that second A at 3hrs 30 and if she takes a 45mins nap, that's fine. Then I would try around 3hrs to BT. I would try this for about a week and see how it goes. Sometimes w2s doesn't work, it takes a bit of trial and error to get it right for your LO. I think we just need to concentrate on getting her to have one nice long nap by teaching her to transition over to the next sleep cycle. My DD was a chronic 45mins napper for months. The only thing that rectified it was a very long first A and w2s for around a few weeks to teach her that a longer nap was expected.
It does take time and patience to get this right. Maybe speak to your daycare people to see if they'll be up for doing this too?
How do I address habitual wakings? (wake-to-sleep and other methods)There's also some great info about separation anxiety taken from Tracy's book BWSAYP here
Separation Anxiety