3 week old; not letting me set down for naps anymore

[henrysmomma]

I realize that my little one is still really young but we went from being able to set her down for naps to setting her down and within 2 minutes she is wide awake.  I don't want to start this holding for naps cycle now! On the days when we hold her for naps, she clearly didn't sleep the best and very quickly got over tired which is why we have her in her room in the semi vertical rock n sleep. Any ideas? She did just go through a growth spurt....

We are swaddling and she is mostly asleep when we set her down, which we will be changing ASAP as she gets older.

[jessmum46]

Normal normal normal . She's becoming more aware and waking up out of the perpetual newborn slumber!

I know it's annoying though . A few options - use shh pat in her crib to settle her, so she doesn't experience the change of place and jolt awake.  Good points - starting as you mean to go on, bad points - many of us find at this young age it just doesn't work and you'll end up with an OT baby and frustrated mummy.  Option two - hold until in deep sleep (at least 20 mins) and then put down.  Great if it works, though I found after a while DS would wake up whatever time I put him down.  Option three - start shh pat in your arms and then when drowsy/closing eyes put down in crib continuing shh pat throughout until LO gets into deep sleep.  I believe this is what Tracy suggested, though again I never really got it to work.  Option four - probably the least BW approach but (at least from reading here) what most people find the best solution - just do what it takes to get sleep into LO at this tiny age and worry about independent sleep a little later. 

Having just gone through this with DS (now 10 weeks) although I tried for the first nap of the day in the crib from the early weeks, it was a pretty frustrating process and didn't really 'click' until around 8/9 weeks.  I think that's common.  As I have a toddler too I used a sling for most sleeps (and if the attempted crib nap failed) for the first few weeks and just kept giving the crib naps a go when it was convenient.  I also found DS didn't like traditional shh pat - he prefers a firm hand on his chest and having his head stroked until he is calm, then he'll suck his thumb and go off to sleep.....most of the time.  I still tend to use the sling towards the end of the day as he's harder to settle then. 

So really it's up to you how you approach it, and will depend on how much time you have to dedicate to getting LO to sleep.  Personally I chose this time to try to avoid the big OT screaming battles as much as possible and try to enjoy my newborn a bit more (I struggled a bit with sleep-related anxiety first time round), and I'm glad I did.  He's changed so much in just a few short weeks and it now takes less than five mins to get him down in his crib if I time it right.  All the early 'AP' (though I don't really believe it is AP at this age - it's survival!) doesn't seem to have caused any issues

[henrysmomma]

Thank you so much for your reply! It really put my mind at ease and is super helpful!

How will I know that she's ready for training?

I am learning what is making her super gassy as I reintroduced a few foods which I'll be removing yet again! We've had some settling issues in the last 24-48 hours. Stupid gas. Ugh. We have her sleeping in a rock n sleep right now as when we brought her home she had to sleep in our room as my sons room wasn't finished with the remodel. Then we got into the gassy pukey phase and I am concerned about laying her flat. So many variables!

Thank you again!!!!!

[jessmum46]

You're welcome

For us, I just kept trying DS in the crib and one day I just stroked his head and off he went!  So I guess he was ready at that point.  Just keep giving it a go when it's convenient, and hopefully one day it will just click.  I wouldn't even say I had to train DS as such, I just gave him the opportunity and he did it when he was ready.  If I tried and he didn't settle in 15 mins or so I just put him in the sling then tried again later.  I think around 8 weeks was the turning point here x

[henrysmomma]

Wonderful; thank you so much for your help! I will clean out the crib and get out my longer swaddles! Bless you!!!!

[jessmum46]

Good luck, keep us posted with how things are going x

[henrysmomma]

I sure will keep you posted but right now our gas situation just keeps getting worse and worse. I am afraid until this passes we are going to have to do a lot of accidental parenting like we did last night for 4 1/2 hours.   

[athenasmom]

May I chime in as we had / have the same issue here. If the babe is gassy and is in paiin than holding is not an AP in my opinion. The baby has a real need for being held becuase the pain is real. My dd was super gassy and refluxy and is still struggling with it allthough I think it is getting a bit better now at 7 weeks. I got the same advice here and now I believe that AP does not really start until 3 months or so. Things really improved in our home once I realized that at this young age babies live in the moment and act out of real need.

[henrysmomma]

Oh I absolutely understand and agree with what you said! Thank you so much for the encouragement I do appreciate it. I'm glad that things are starting to look up for you there!

Do you know how long it takes for an under developed digestive system to fully heal? It took my son about four months with his colic to kind of come out of that and I just wondered if we are looking at the same time frame for our second here too?

[Kirsten~]

I'm going to jump on here too rather than start my own thread with the same questions. DS is really gassy too (still young at 10 days old), worse than I remembered DD being, and I thought she was gassy! I'm seeing similar things. When I pick him up, he quiets rights down and passes out. The second I lay him in the bassinet, it's hours of grunting, squirming  hiccups, etc. and me picking him up every 15 mins or so to help. But after doing that most of last night and not getting a good afternoon nap for him today, I'm exhausted and frustrated!! Plus, then he's so tired that I'm struggling to keep him awake during feeds.

At this age, I'm not so worried about AP, I just hate having him in bed with me all the time. He's really not much of a crier, but he's clearly not getting good sleep either (and I'm not getting any!). For naps, I appreciate the idea of trying in the bassinet (I'll try shh/pat and other tactics too) and if it fails, just APOP. But what about at night?  I'd rather not have him on the floor in a bouncy seat since I have 2 big dogs (who are sweet, but cannot resist facing licking). Am I stuck having DS in bed with me until the gas situation settles?

[jessmum46]

Have you tried elevating the head of his cot?

[Kirsten~]

Yes, I do have it elevated. TBH, I haven't seen the elevated head idea work for either kid. Last might was better, but just to make sure I got sleep, I brought him to bed with me. He does sleep well in his cot for his first nap if the day and his first stretch of night sleep (ie before his first NW)

[henrysmomma]

I thought I would pipe in with something we just found; colic calm. We found it at walgreens and I have found when has drops don't work, we add this and baby calms right down. It is not exactly inexpensive at $20/bottle but it truly has worked for us!

[jessmum46]

We did elevate the head of the cot, and I tried some laid-back nursing to try to reduce the amount of air he gulped when feeding, but honestly I think the thing that did it here was time.  By six weeks he was a lot better and the gassiness had mostly gone by about eight weeks x

[Kirsten~]

Thanks, Katherine. I suspect you are right about it just needing time for his tummy to mature; that's what happened with DD. I have started probiotics to see if it helps speed things up any. I go back to work when he is 8 weeks, so I really hope this improves before then! I guess I'll just keep trying the cot for naps and during the night. I feel like I need to just suck it up one night, accept that I'll be up for a while, and really spend the time settling him in his cot after feeding.
He really seems to need the pacifier to fall asleep, but he always spits it out 2 mins after I walk away from the cot, and then he starts grunting, squirming, etc.

[athenasmom]

Dd does the same with the paci. She spits it out because she settles but then jolts and wakes and needs it again. It is getting better now that she is learning to drop off into sleep. It feels like she is jolting less. She is 2 months today  Of course once ot she needs a lot of help with dropping off and sometimes I have to literally hold the paci in her mouth.

Probiotics and colic calm did not help much here. I started making my own gripewater / tea. I boil some fennel and anise seeds then add chamomille tea. It has seemed to help with the gas. She drinks it out of a bottle but woild only drink it when warm, otherwise just make a very yucky face 

I also have overactive letdown and that made her gulp too fast which led to gassyness too. It would be worth to try to unlatch your lo when you feel the letdown and and catch the milk in a nursing pad until it slows a bit. I found that at that young age my dd was just not able to keep up with it. Now she is much better. Also make sure you elevate your lo's head when you feed so her head is above her tummy level so that gravity can help her with eating.

Otherwise it is really just time and her system maturing. Can you put him in a bassinett next to your bed? That way he is in his bed but you can reach over if you need to settle him. I used to do that but now she is farther away from my bed because I had such a hard time sleeping with all her grunting in the early am.