Going insane!

[Hester]

Hi all! I am back 

It's easy to GIVE advise, but with my own kid I need outsider eyes to help me figure out what to do.

DD is 23 months. She has always been a bit hard to get to go to sleep at night, but nothing major. Or nothing I couldn't handle.
If she is OT, she simply will NOT go to bed. So the routine below has longer naps to catch up from the broken nights.

She naps quite fine.

At nighttime we do, bath, pj, book, song, bed. Usually she will go to bed, but within half an hour she starts calling. And then all is lost. She will NOT go back to bed. Won't lay down, keeps calling, maaamaaa, maaamaaa etc. complete freak out mode. I have tried ignoring the first calling a bit, to no avail. Tried wi/WO no luck. I could sit with her forever and she would probably fall asleep, but I have more kids to deal with. So not fair to them, let alone my mental health.

And right now she is calling again, at 23.15.

So, I have to quickly wrap up.

ETA: this was another kid, which woke her up 

At night she often wakes and refuses to sleep, unless in a playpen in my room. Problem is DS (4) is in my room and she wakes him in the early morning. Way before he is ready. Is it SA? What to do?

Her naps are 11-2 or 3 and any less makes the night situation worse. Later bedtime?

Help!

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Hi Hester! That is a super long nap! Personally I would think ut from that but leads to ot later? Could it be a case of capping the nap and riding out the ensuing madness? 

[Hester]

I tried that though. And got more problems. Maybe a later bedtime then? Like 8?

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

How long did you try it for? I would give it a good week to see...but otherwise a later bedtime might be worth a shot as well. We get alot of mileage out of extra activity like running around the park after supper to wear her out (DD3 is lsn so naps for an hour a day and does 10.5/11 hr nights).

[Buttonbobs]

I agree with Heidi, just readings what you have written, and without seeingn your DD, her behaviour sounds like UT to me rather than OT. If she is a child who needs a longer nap in order to cope with the day then you may find nights just have to get shorter and a later BT would have been essential in this house.

[*Liz*]

Chronic OT due to bad night, meaning she gives the impression she needs 3-4 hours nap, but really that is driving it. Nights are more restorative than naps.

So you cut the nap, things get worse for a week or so as it drives the OT, but then gets better once you stop allowing days to catch up.

If you are happier with a short night and a long nap, then yeah, super late bedtime needed. No idea what time though. A 2 year olds A time after a 3-4 hr nap must be at least 6 hrs??

[jessmum46]

Absolutely agree with everyone else.  You've gotta cut the nap!  Bear in mind that typical sleep needs at 2 years are 13h as an average (Typical Amounts of Day and Night Sleep) and some will need less.  If you let her have 3-4hrs of that as a nap.....well you can see why the nights and BT are bad . Yes she will be awful for a few days while she adjusts, and it will definitely feel like you are making things worse in the short term, but I think that's probably the only way to get your evenings back.

If you'd prefer to keep the nap though I think you'll probably need something like a 9/10pm BT to get a reasonable (6/7am) WU......

[Hester]

See! And thats why I need stranger eyes! I will cap her nap to 2 hours tomorrow. 11-1, then BT at 7.30.
Then cap at 1.5 hr and BT at 7.00 the next day? Or straight to the last option. How would you deal with the almost inevitable screaming at night then? Just take her out?