shifting 4 yo body clock

[michaeljacknnugg]

I would put all thinking of UT/OT out of your mind and just focus on consistency:

Consistent routine, consistent bedtime, consistent response to NW and EW.]

You can vary what you do after school with him to either wind him down or wear him out, that can deal with the tiredness issue. Or let DH deal with him!!!!

[Truly Blessed]

So dh tells ds he will sleep next to him if he goes straight to sleep   then he woke at 5 asking where dh was!

BTDT 

I think what I am going to do is stick to being in bed for 7 with WD programme, be out of the door at 7.30, and what will be will be. I am taking a sterner line with him, and I am probably going to only do one WI/WO because once again there was no call backs for my Mam, when baby sitting last night! Little monkey, or my Sister last week, so he is clearly pushing boundaries with Mammy and Daddy.

He was asleep 7.45 and up for the day at 5.50  sigh, shadows under his eyes today 

x.

[*Liz*]

Completely agree with MJ&N. Consistency and finding the right wind down needs to be the main focus. The days of UT etc are all to a degree over  .

I've had a hard week with my 6 year old. It's all to do with wanting to play with his birthday toys, and having a rough time starting year 1 at school.

Best wind downs vary  . My DD is very sensitive to dreams/NWings with TV, works
Quite well for DS though. DS likes permission to do a few last things he really wants to do eg football stickers, DD is best with stories and her lullaby CD.

 

[LovelyLilyandJack]

I don't think about OT or UT ever either.  I have to be really firm with lily to stop nws or monkeying about at bedtime or in the morning.  I sometimes feel like I'm a bit too strict with her, but as soon as we let one thing go we're straight back to call backs etc.  I think this is way more of a factor than total day length, length of the night etc. In fact I'd say that's been the case since she turned 3.

Posted with Liz.

[*Liz*]

Whispers *yes, I am pretty firm about call backs*  . But if I am not it gets silly very quickly. Emergencies only  .

[Aishi]

Thank you!! Ok no more stressing about ot/ ut just consistency consistency consistency! Oh and firm with call backs. I could do that except the little monkey knows I don't want him to wake dd so I end up waiting for Mr sun with him (he woke her at 5 the other day and I've been struggling to get her back on track!) But I'm happy to do that as long as its not before 6! I think I'm going to gradually shift his BT to 8.30 so even with a 10h night he will sleep till 6.30. I hope!

((Hugs)) for the hard week Liz. Hope it settles for you and ds. Its hard when they're struggling at school too and not sleeping either!!

[Truly Blessed]

I've had a hard week with my 6 year old. It's all to do with wanting to play with his birthday toys, and having a rough time starting year 1 at school.

(HUGS) Hun 

I sometimes feel like I'm a bit too strict with her, but as soon as we let one thing go we're straight back to call backs etc.

I hear you!  My problem is I hate ending the day with a sad boy, I want the days back when he happily went to sleep, seems so long ago now. However, I have found that if I speak calmy and set the boundaries before I leave the room, then a big cuddle and kiss, he knows I am serious, far better than waiting until the 5th call back when I am cross  .

Oh and firm with call backs. I could do that except the little monkey knows I don't want him to wake dd so I end up waiting for Mr sun with him (he woke her at 5 the other day and I've been struggling to get her back on track!)

Hmm  wonders if Aishi could set a consequence if he wakes DD, without ending up feeling bad about it  I tread carefully when taking this line, so as not to feel rubbish and get on a 'threatening' roll! But I have had success using this for important issues. Problem is DD may be woken a couple of times before you can show DS you are following through, and he starts to respond.

I am stuck on the 'I'm sorry for you Son, and understand, but can't pander to you any more' fence 

x.

[barbaraz78]

Whispers *yes, I am pretty firm about call backs*  . But if I am not it gets silly very quickly. Emergencies only  .

Same here. This is the only thing, I believe, that prompts him to sttn consistently. He wakes but he knows he has to go back to sleep without waking mummy... or he has a very grumpy mummy the day after.

wonders if Aishi could set a consequence if he wakes DD, without ending up feeling bad about it 

I was wondering the same, really. Independent sleeping means that when he wakes up he has his own devices to go back to sleep alone. If you go in with him consistently when he wakes early, then he will expect the same during nw. Because for him there is no difference between a nw and a ew.
Also, at least my DS, for him is harder to go to sleep if someone else is in the room with him waiting that he falls asleep, he does much better alone. So, being with him you could actually prevent him to go to sleep if he wakes early. Idk, I would probably set the rule that he can't wake dd, and if he does I would set a consequence, but would not go in with him. But again, you know him better and know what works with him.

[Aishi]

I hear you but what consequence would you use? Currency doesn't seem to work for him and if dd wakes early we all suffer because she's very very spirited (ds isn't) and loves her sleep. She's a bear all day and I just can't handle a tired lo who refuses naps now!

Tbf to ds he doesn't expect me to stay at nws (touch wood he hasn't had one all week!) But at 5am after ten hrs of sleep he usually can stay awake and be noisy cos hes had most of his sleep!

[michaeljacknnugg]

Natural consequences = she's a bear and is unpleasant to him?

[barbaraz78]

Natural consequences = she's a bear and is unpleasant to him?

Yes, reminding why she is a bear, and that it is his fault as he woke her.

Or, I would skip doing something he likes, and that he generally does. Like not going to the park in the pm with friends (something my DS loves), as we all are tired because you woke me and your sister so early in the morning, so she and I could not handle the afternoon out. With F this would be something that works.

[Aishi]

Lol she is a literal bear. She bites and scratches him and screams like a banshee that is something I can use tho

[michaeljacknnugg]

Yes, quiet boring afternoon to allow her to rest before bedtime might work?

[Truly Blessed]

Does he have much loved screen time  Computer  ???Tablet  Losing it for the day gets Sam's attention 

x.

[*Liz*]

I have certainly said I can't play today because I am just too tired after being woken up all night, and have refused things like the park after tea, or an extra story explaining that we are all too tired for extra fun.