3 year old with days and nights mixed up. need adivce!!!

[meghanlynn]

I am new to this forum and am hoping to find other parents who may have been in my situation before or know a good approach to handling it. My daughter just turned 3 in may. When she turned a yr old I started working an overnight job which completely threw her off course with her bedtime routine. The first week in June of this year I stopped working overnight and now work during the day so I assumed she would adjust like I had and go back to normal. I was horribly wrong. She still stays up all night. Sometimes I can't get her to bed until 3, 4, or 5am! My husband works until 1am so I am on my own with this. I have two other daughters (3mos and 2yrs) that sleep fine (unless sissy decides to wake up the whole house). Starting sunday my husband will be going to overnights as it will bring more money into the house so I have to figure out how I am going to fix this. I do not see how I will be able to be up all night and then work all day. I have tried everything. Even bought her a new bed and told her that it is a special princess bed just for her. It doesn't work. I have tried nightlights, television, etc. and nothing works. When I am able to get her to go to sleep, its usually in my bed. ( I learned quickly on that and haven't made the same mistake with my other girls lol). She will sleep all day if we let her. She doesn't have naps either. Any advice? I appreciate even the smallest tip!

[creations]

Hi and welcome to BW

Wow your situation sounds exhausting!
Could you expand a little so we can get a fuller picture of what's happening?

When you were working nights and her BT routine went off track what did her sleep routine end up looking like? (when was BT and WU and naps if any?)
Now you are working days and she is up all night can you show what her current sleep routine looks like? so she doesn't go to sleep until 3,4 or 5am but when do you begin your wind down and BT routine? What do you do between wind down and when she actually falls to sleep if she is awake for so long?
What time does she WU after going to sleep at that time?
You say no naps but does she fall asleep if you go out in the car etc or nod off at meals or watching TV etc?
What sort of activities happen in the day, for instance are you able to get outside into the sun, go to parks for play etc? Are the 3 children with a childminder in the day whilst you work?  Do you know the routine?
Does she eat her meals at regular times, with the rest of the family?

Sorry for so many questions but it would help us to come up with some ideas for you if we have a bit more information.
Meanwhile - hang in there, I'm sure we can come up with a plan to help you resolve this and get more sleep for the whole family.

[meghanlynn]

after her routine went off track her routine ended up looking like BT- roughly 5am. And WU time - between 3 and 5pm. I do get them outside as much as possible. (hoping they will burn out all their energy lol.) Sometimes she does try to fall asleep during the day but I wake her up as soon as I notice it. Her evening routines look a bit like this:
5pm/6pm - dinner time
7 :30 pm - bath time
8pm - bed

and yes she does eat her meals regular time with the rest of us. My other daughters are not like this and follow the routines pretty easily. When she is awake at night I don't let her play. she will just sit there or lay there wide awake! If I left anything out, let me know!!

[creations]

So from 8pm she sits or lies in her bed with the lights off but not sleeping, is that right?
And what time do you wake her in the morning? And how long have you been waking her in the morning and preventing her from sleeping in the day?

[Katet]

My Sister did a couple of long haul flights UK/Australia, when her DS was little & with the time difference of 10 hours it sounds a bit like where you are.

When she arrived with me after one trip, (my nephew was almost 3yo)  she made sure I woke her & her DS at 7am (the wake up time she wanted) every day even if they were asleep & then she wouldn't let him sleep until he'd been up 4-5 hours & then only let him have a 1 hour nap (he had stopped napping by that age) & then put him to bed at the time she wanted the routine to be set at.

I think in all honesty you need to pick an exact time you want her to be up & do it every day without fail for at least 2 weeks, even if she has only had 2-3 hours sleep, if you want her to be up at 7am then you need to wake her at that time -get her up & take her for a walk etc, don't even let her fall asleep until she has been awake at least 4-5 hours & then cap it at maximum of 1 hour,  If she was to say fall asleep at 3pm then only allow 20mins & the next day cap any day time sleep even less.

Really the key is to make sure you wake her at the time you want her to wake even if she has only had a couple of hours of sleep & then do absolutely everything to keep her awake in the day time.