Author Topic: How to get an easy routine established?  (Read 1136 times)

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Offline Hewhelen

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How to get an easy routine established?
« on: August 18, 2014, 08:56:55 am »
Hi there

I really need some advice on how to get an easy routine established with my 6 month old son. I have just started to introduce solids although he's not loving it at the moment. He is EBF and won't take a bottle although I want to preservere with this. He only naps for three 30 minute naps per day- to achieve these naps I have up feed him and rock him for at least 20 minutes whilst he cries!

He does have a bedtime routine and is usually asleep by 7pm. I try to put him down awake but usually he is so exhausted he goes straight to sleep. He usually wakes between 9-10pm and I feed him again and will then wake between 1 and 2am and then 4am. Sometimes he won't go back to sleep when he wakes at 4am and other times he will. He always ends up in my bed.

I am totally shattered and really want to start breaking the cycle of feeding to sleep. I also think he needs more sleep during the day but when I try and leave him in his cot he just screams (even with me reassuring him). Does anyone have any recommendations? 

Offline jessmum46

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Re: How to get an easy routine established?
« Reply #1 on: August 20, 2014, 07:49:17 am »
Hi and welcome :)

You're in good company - I started EASY at about five months for my DD so it's definitely not too late :)

Have a look here for some good info on getting started: Starting EASY - all you need to know and more!

PUPD is probably the best sleep-training tool for you to use to help break the feeding to sleep association and help him learn to settle on his own.  Given he is six months I would aim for a two-nap routine with the day looking something like this:

(I'm basing this on a 6.30am WU - is that reasonable for you?)

WU and eat 6.30am
A
S 9.15/30 - 11
E 11am
A
S 2-3.30/4pm
E 3.30/4
A
E as part of BT routine
S 6.30/7pm

It won't go perfectly to begin with and some days you will need to offer an extra catnap in the afternoon to get him through to a reasonable bedtime.  Don't be afraid to do that or to bring BT early on days where he doesn't nap well. 

A couple of caveats - given he is EBF and not yet really established on solids, he may find it too long between the WU feed and feed after the first nap.  Some babies can manage it fine, but others can't.  If he can't, offer a top-up fed maybe 30 mins before naptime in a bright room.  I would suggest also changing your BT routine so a feed isn't the last thing before going into his cot.  If he tends to fall asleep feeding, feed him in a bright room and sit him up if he starts dozing off.  Then maybe read a story or if that's too exciting, sing him a little song before putting him down with his eyes open.

With night feeds, if he is used to being fed often it's a bit much to expect him to suddenly go all night without.  I would suggest you note the time of his BT feed, and then work out when 4h later will be.  If he wakes before that time, use PUPD all the way until he goes back to sleep even if it takes you past the 4h mark.  If he wakes past the 4h mark then feed him straight away (don't worry if he feeds to sleep in that case) and make a note of when the next 4h will be up.

What do you think?

Offline Hewhelen

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Re: How to get an easy routine established?
« Reply #2 on: August 20, 2014, 19:03:15 pm »
Thanks very much for your advice. It is much appreciated. I feel totally overwhelmed at the moment and feel as though it will never get better! Will definitely try your ideas. At present, he only naps for a maximum of 30 minutes, do you think pu/pd will help him to nap longer? He fights it so much and then becomes overtired. I worry that him missing a nap then messes up the rest of the routine.
Any suggestions?

Thanks

Offline Hewhelen

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Re: How to get an easy routine established?
« Reply #3 on: August 21, 2014, 06:52:12 am »
Also forgot to say that we do so e groups in the morning so does the morning nap have to be until 11am?

Offline jessmum46

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Re: How to get an easy routine established?
« Reply #4 on: August 21, 2014, 07:16:59 am »
Yes if he learns to settle by himself with PUPD then hopefully his naps should start to improve if you have the routine right. 

No, his morning nap doesn't have to be until 11am, that's just a suggestion based on trying to aim for two solid naps of 1.5-2h.  What time are your groups and when would you want to be out?  I can see if there's anything else I can suggest?

Offline Hewhelen

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Re: How to get an easy routine established?
« Reply #5 on: August 21, 2014, 09:02:28 am »
The groups and activities we do are usually from 10-11.30am so I would want to aim for x morning nap about 9-9.45 and then a long nap after lunch. This morning has been a disaster. He woke at 5.30 and usually I would feed him but didn't so he remained awake. I breastfed him just before 7am and offered him some porridge at 7.45am but he didn't have full feeds with either. He then fell asleep on me and I put him in his bouncer chair but he would up again after 30 minutes. He was obviously still tired so I picked him island cuddled him and he eventually dropped off again after about 30 minutes. I know I need to put him in his cot but to be honest avoiding this as he screamed so much last time (although did not do pu/pd). He will me awake soon so do I do an activity and then still feed at 11am? Then lunch and a nap again?

Thanks so much for your help.

Offline jessmum46

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Re: How to get an easy routine established?
« Reply #6 on: August 23, 2014, 10:06:27 am »
We may not be the best place to advise on that sort of routine, as that's not how a typical EASY would work.  I have seen elsewhere a routine something like 9-9.45 and then 12-2/2.30, but you may need to play around with the timings to ensure that second nap is long enough to see you through to BT, or do a catnap.  I suspect there are other forums and groups that might be better placed to advise you in that regard. 

HOWEVER we can definitely help with PUPD!  :D. It's inevitable that some crying and screaming will happen as you are changing the way LO knows how to go to sleep, but it's a case of how you handle that.  Remember it is just a protest at the change, LO isn't hungry or in pain, he's just tired but doesn't know how to go to sleep.  You will be there comforting him as he works it out.  There is a PUPD board here: Pick Up/Put Down. I'd definitely encourage you to post over there for some specific support once you get going.