EASY routine failing for a 3mo

[-Maya-]

Hi all,
Thus is my first post on this forum, so forgive me in case I ask too basic questions. I have tried to read a lot of posts,( seeking for answers but since my lo is 3mo I am still too sleep deprived to be able to sort out answers...
I am trying to implement EASY with my lo but I am not able to have a consistent 3h schedule. He's currently bf and I have started a bottle supplement to the last feed a few days ago because he seems to be always hungry. My issue is that he eants to eat every 2-2,5h and I have not yet found a way to feed him less frequently. My current schedule is written below:
E 09:00
S 11:00 --> he sleeps only 30min in his crib

E 11:30
S 13:30

E 14:00
S 16:00

E 16:30

E 19:00
Bath
E 21:00
S 21:30-22:00

Two feeds due during the night one at 2am and one at 6am.
My first question regards night sleep: in all routine samples I see that you put your babies to sleep for the night at 7pm. I have to shift this time at least two hours later to adjust to family schedule. Does thus disrupt baby routine? Should I stick to 7-7 instead of 9-9?

As you can see from my routine my lo is eating 8 times in 24h and he is not able to sleep more than 30min in his cot. But he may need to sleep more. He is able to sleep more than 30 min only when I bring him on a long walk in his stroller. More complex, a few days ago he started crying when he feels sleepy. He cries whatever he's doing. When he's already in the crib happily playing, he starts crying and there is no way to calm him. I have tried pupd, but he's probably too young, I have tried shush pat, but he does not calm. I shush pat him for 40 minutes today and what I have got is 20min of disturbed sleep. He was sad during sleep, sobbing while sleeping. Today is the third day of shush pat but things are not getting better and I feel like I am abandoning him. What can I do?
When I get him to sleep for 30min then he wakes up hungry and so I can't put him to sleep again, so I need to start over again with E, but then he's too tired to do any A at all. But when I put him in the crib he cries again and again. Eventually he falls asleep quicker but just because he's too tired...

I do not know what to do. I am not able to drop 2am feed (during holidays he was actually sleeping 6/7 hours!!! but back home he instantly dropped this habit) and I feel I am not teaching him to sleep in the crib, but just leaving him cry...

Can someone help me?

[jessmum46]

Hi Maya and welcome to the forums.

Firstly if your LO is breastfed and can only manage 2-2.5h between feeds, that's fine.  Breastfeeding research had moved on somewhat since the books were written, although we hope that Tracy would have incorporated the new advice had she lived longer.  You can work on establishing a loose eat, activity, sleep pattern but don't worry sometimes if you have to give a top-up before naps (just try to avoid feeding to sleep) or partway through A time.

Secondly, I think a lot of your trouble with settling probably stems from the fact you are likely keeping LO awake too long.  At three months an average A time (eyes open to eyes closed) is only 1h20-30 mins.  Those 30 minute naps you're getting are classic for overtiredness.  I would try starting winddown at around 1h-1h10 and aim to have him in the cot no later than 1h15-20.  Hopefully that should make it easier to settle him.  After a short nap, his next A time will need to be even shorter as he won't be rested enough to tolerate a full normal A time for his age, so maybe only 1h-1h10 (asleep by then).

It's fine to do a 9-9 routine if that's what suits your family best.  There is some evidence that a baby's natural biorhythms suit a 7-7 day better, but many people manage to make a later routine work. 

Hope that helps, let us know if you have more questions

[-Maya-]

Thank you for your answer Jessmum. I have tried to keep our A time very low key and to put my lo to sleep after 1h but I am still getting no more than 30min of sleep. Since he needs more sleep during the day, I resolved to let him sleep in his stroller for second and third nap of the day, while the first one is in his crib. This also fits my usual schedule, but I am worried that he will never learn to nap well in his crib.
I am also having some troubles in setting up an EASY daily schedule including some more feeds. Where I can find samples of routines?

[jessmum46]

There are some sample routines here: Sample EASY Routines from 0 - 13mths+

[-Maya-]

Ok I have decided to try a EAES routine to check if my lo just need more food to get longer naps.
Thus morning the routine is as follows:
E 08:300-9:10 (a little mess really, we started at 830, but I fall asleep, whoops)
A 09:10-09:45
E 09:45-10:00
S 10:00-?? (Took a little longer than usual to settle, something like 30 min)

Now I have just helped him to resettle and it works! He seems to sleep again!
What do you think of this routine?
I wonder if eating more frequently can make him a snacker...

[-Maya-]

Ok starting from yesterday I decided that I am in the "nap-week": this week I will try my best to allow my lo to extend his nap time! I am worried because I have to go back to work at some point and I do not want to leqve my lo with my mother without a good nap schedule...

[jessmum46]

I know it's hard thinking about what will happen when you have to leave LO, but they and their routines change so much and so frequently in the first year that even if you get a perfect routine working now, it will be totally different in a week/month/6 months. I would concentrate on learning your LOs cues, getting an idea of how much awake time they can handle, and independent settling (or at least knowing what works to soothe LO if they are struggling). Good luck with this week though!

[-Maya-]

Ok, it's time to give an update on the "nap week". I succeded in getting tbe second nap of tbe day longer: he sleeped more than once for 2 to 3 hours. But this started working when I give up with BF: when he takes a bottle he's able to extend time between E and so he is able to sleep more. It was a tough decision and I hope it is a good one. Now my EASY s heduke is like this:
E 0800 BF
S 0930 -1000
E 1000 FF
S 1130- 1330
E 1330 FF
S starting from 1500, 2x30 sleep, this is when I stay away from home
E 1730 FF
S 30' when I can
E 2030 BF + FF
S 2100 BT

That is much better than before, but there's room for improvement imho

[-Maya-]

Nap training is starting to work. Yesterday we had an almost perfect day, apart from the last catnap. He napped 1,5h, 1h and 1,5h again.
First 2 naps were in his cot and I needed to resettle him more than once both times. Will he eventually learn to self settle by himself if I insist on helping him?
He mainly needs me because I have to keep his paci in. When I don't, he lets the paci out and he rubs his eyes until he completely wakes himself. What can I do to avoid this?

[jessmum46]

I have no experience with the paci I'm afraid, never used one, but sounds like you may need to either put up with replugging for now or get rid of it altogether. Might be worth a post over on the props board for some ideas from mums who have done it