Hi ladies. Am back!
DS is now 14 months old, a healthy and happy child, touchwood! Unfortunately, the spectre of night wakings, esp. extended wakings has not gone away from his sleep.
Here's what his typical day looks like:
WU 7 am
Nap 12 pm to 2 pm
BT 8.30 pm
However, at night he has been having extended wakings, anywhere between 1 to 2 hours long. Once, even 3 hours! The waking happens usually between 3 to 4 hours after going to sleep.
When that happens, he sometimes makes up for at least some of the lost sleep by sleeping in till 8/8.30 am the next morning, in which case his whole timing gets pushed to later, the nap happens at 1/1.30, from which I wake him up by 3.30, and then bedtime happens between 9.30-10.
But sometimes, he doesn't make up for the lost sleep and wakes up at his usual 7 am (sometimes even 6.30), which means he's slept for only 8-9 hours at night, in which case he gets sleepy for his nap earlier than usual, within 3-4 hours of morning WU. When this happens, he sometimes takes a nice long nap (I assume he's making up for the previous night's lost sleep), say from 11 am to 2 pm, and then the bedtime becomes 8.30 pm, which is perfect. Sometimes he takes only a 1.5 or 2 hour nap, so he wakes up by 1, so stretch him till 7.30 pm at least for BT, because if I put him down any earlier he treats it like a nap and wakes up, ready to play!
If he wakes up from nap any earlier than 1 pm, I give him a short 2nd nap around 4.30 pm and then the BT becomes a really late 10.30/11 pm! However this is rare.
During the extended waking at night, basically it seems as if he's just run out of sleep. He knows that the room is dark and he should sleep, he wants to sleep, but isn't able to. I don't think there's any discomfort. I pat him, I take him in my arms and gently rock him, or take him in my lap and sit down with him, and he seems to quieten down, but is not asleep. The second I try to put him down in the cot he cries and wants to be picked up again. The latest feature of this extended waking (ExW) is that he wants mommy only, cries harder if daddy or nanny go in to pat him. What fun!
Finally, after about 45 minutes of trying, if he just doesn't seem like he's going to settle, I give him milk in his bottle, which he takes readily. 50% of the time he drifts off shortly after that, 50% of the time he's still whimpering/squirming. Sometimes I give him the bottle early on, but that doesn't help him sleep off earlier.
Last night he wouldn't settle even after a bottle and 1.5 hours of trying. So I lay down with him (there's a mattress on the floor in his room, he sleeps in his cot, always has) and initially he was more squirmy than usual because I guess he's not used to going to sleep like that, but then he quietened down and after another 30 minutes or so of restless but sleepy squirming he drifted off to sleep. I let him sleep like that for about an hour or so, then put him in the cot. He slept for another 2 hours after that, then woke up at 8.30 am.
Phew! I honestly don't think I can take these ExW's any more. It seems all our good sleep training work with the BW technique has come undone. Worst is, I cannot understand WHY this is happening. Is it separation anxiety (because he seems to want mommy only)? Is it a growth spurt, and he needs more milk? Is it a routine issue?
I must point out that the ExW happens regardless of whether he's slept 1.5 hours in his afternoon nap or 3. Apart from the ExW, he has maybe 2-3 other wakings wherein he cries out, we wait about 30 seconds to see if he self-settles, and we go in and pat him, and within a minute or two (rarely but sometimes ten) he sleeps off.
He has no lovies or pacifiers. Is on a decent range of solid foods through the day, and takes 2 milk feeds, about 5 oz each, plus the 1 feed of another 5 oz that he takes in the ExW.
Please help, I didn't want to do the co-sleeping thing that I tried last night but I was at my wits' end!
Please help!
