scared

[Nauvoo]

DD2 is 3 next month and for about a week or two now she doesn't want to go to bed.  And the reason I finally was able to figure out is she is scared.  I don't know what of but nonetheless she is scared and won't stay in bed.   it really started with her hysterical if the light wasn't on but with it on she is wide awake.  So we tried several night lights but she wants the room light on.  but again this only wakes her up fully and she wants to watch a movie or play. So we put a mattress in DD1's room that she thought was a great idea, the first night.  But now she is not liking going to bed period.  For about 5 days now she will wake anywhere from 3 to 4am and come to our room.  We have a sofa in our room and so she begs to sleep in our bed but we always tell her she can either go back to her bed or sleep on the sofa.  She sleeps on the sofa and is  actually sleeping there but only until about 6am.   so early mornings, exhausted at bedtime but still really fighting going to bed!  the last two nights I have sat with her while she is falling asleep.  still lots of tears!  and not to even mention bedtime.  if you do it brings on tears and a repeated "I don't want to go to bed".  So she really is scared and I'm needing some ideas.  I don't mind the girls sharing a room but I want her to stay there all night and I don't want to always have to sit next to her while she falls asleep.  ideas?  poor thing.  i wonder what she is scared of?  wait I just asked her and she is scared of monsters in bed. 

[Mom-of-boys]

Not sure if I have the best advice because I haven't btdt, but could you try a dimmer switch on the light in her room?  We have it in my son's room and we turned it down all the way at night so it just gives a soft glow and he feels like the light is still on.  If she is genuinely scared, I would stay with her and do some sort of gradual withdrawal method where you start off beside her by the bed and gradually move closer and closer to the door.  Could she be watching tv/movies or reading books either monsters that are upsetting her?  How is her daytime routine?  I know at that age, my son was starting to drop his nap which really threw a loop into our daytime routine as well. 

[Nauvoo]

no nap for about 8 or 9 months now.  i like the dimmer switch.  we'll see what my husband can do.
I'm not sure about what she's watched.  She watches veggie tales with DD1 and it's entirely possible that monsters under the bed was mentioned.  but tbh, I'm not sure where the idea came from.  a book or a movie or older cousins?

[HenaV]

Or she's just coming up to her third birthday when things have a tendency I go a bit wonky? Their imaginations at this age IMO are wild, brilliantly so, but wild.
Iiwm I'd perhaps try the dimmer and do GW if you have to get her to go to bed and stay in her own bed. I see that WU is currently 6am with NW, what time is BT?

Hena

[Nauvoo]

quite possible about the birthday coming up! Literally 2 weeks before she turned 2 night time was a nightmare.  Worst two weeks of sleep by far!!!!!!!!!!!!!  She hit the developmental milestone all out running! DH doesn't want the dimmer because of fire hazard.  So we'll have top think of something else.

Bedtime is any where from 6:30 top 7:30 depending on weekday is going on.  Routine doesn't seem to be the issue here though!

[HenaV]

If routine is not an issue, then I would stick
To your guns, offer the reassurance that she needs but get her to stay in her bed.

R has always been an IS and as such at time of sleep madness if in GW doesn't work for us as it feels as tho R cottons on and then hey, she plays up so I'm crawling out camando style. So as she's gotten older I tend to offer her all the reassurance she needs - so in this instance start te BT routine earlier to have time to entertain checking for monsters, tell her you have special mummy powers and zap any spaces to make anything scary go away - the mummy touch is magic don't you know. Then tell her that you will just be in your room if she needs you. She may in the first instance call you back an untold amount of time, keep
Going back in, offer reassurance (don't keep
Zapping the goulies away - you'll be there all night!) and leave. Rinse and repeat until she gives in and she will.

For silly o'clock WU - take her back to her rooms and wi/WO if needs be - exhausting for a few nights granted but I think worthwhile. Otherwise, you will have this situation ongoing

What do you think?

Hena

[Nauvoo]

So i did switch things up a bit for bedtime.  DD1 is in DD2's bed and DD2 is on a mattress under that bed.  They both seemed very excited about it and DD2 went to bed on her own, well crossing fingers anyways because I think they are both in there still awake.  I used "monster spray" to scare off the monsters.  we'll see if that works.  And I explained that if she needs something to call to dad and he'll come help.  we shall see if she ends up on the sofa in our room tonight.  It was awful last night as she kept falling off of it and spent most of the night sleeping on the wood floor.

EW's may just have to be endured as WI/WO won't work currently with out situation.  DD1 just started school and any quite talking can be heard anywhere in the house let alone a crying screaming almost 3 year old.  it would interrupt DD1's sleep which is so important as she is just beginning full day school.  endure we will and hopefully this is a just a developmental birthday milestone!!!!!!

[HenaV]

Mmmm I see what you mean. Well fingers crossed you have a had a good night x