Hi Rosiemummy!
I wanted to add in a couple extra thoughts as a mom of a 6month old who also has silent reflux. I'm so sorry you've had such a tough go of things...sounds like it's been really hard. It's amazing what we are willing to do the help ease the discomfort of our LOs, right!? First, know that it will get better. My LO is now 6mos and his reflux is much better (he's been on Axid reflux medicine since he was 3wks old, which helped a lot). It was really hard to get him on a schedule because I was always worried about him getting enough to eat and he couldn't go very long between feedings because sometimes he could only eat for 3-4min. Once he was 3months I started him on 3hr EASY and things got so much better. Just knowing his set times for eating and napping made a huge difference (prior to that, we were doing the same thing as you and his naps were all over the place so I couldn't plan anything, which drove me crazy!). Most babies outgrow reflux btwn 6-8 months. Be patient and know it might take a little longer for some things, like getting on a schedule. Second, don't worry about what's normal or what others say. Every baby is different and it doesn't really matter what others think you should do. What matters is what works for you and your DH, and it sounds like you all need a break! Like the other post suggestions, I'd find someone to help- a family member or friend, or even a part time nanny or hired help for a bit, whether it's during A time or any other time. I'd keep trying with the bottle too (have your DH or someone else try, as they sometimes won't take it from mom; also leave the room or the house so you don't interfere...if she sees you, she'll want the real thing instead!). For me, I didn't realize until pretty late that I had a very fast let down, esp on the right side, and it exacerbated his reflux. His reflux was actually a bit better with the bottle (know that often a bottle can make it worse). I also agree with the others that it's important to get out and about, every couple days or whatever works for you, so she does get used to outside stimulation. Going for walks always helped my LO. Third, be careful of being a prop and creating a dependency on you and the sling to sleep. My biggest reco would be to get her sleeping in her crib consistently so you can have some good Y time. Lastly, a couple things that worked for us: we propped up one end of the crib so that he slept at a slant (use books under the legs or roll blankets/towels under the mattress). Not sure that us helped tremendously, but we think it was better than lying flat. Ultimately we ended up putting him to sleep on his tummy, which I know is a big no-no, but he honestly slept so much better that way. Especially for reflux babies, the pressure on their tummy can really make them feel better. That worked for us. Also, there are several different kinds of reflux medicine,so if the one she is on doesn't work, push your doc to try another kind. We also give our LO simethicone gas drops at regular intervals, which helps a lot with gas. We had a hard time figuring out if it was gas or reflux sometimes, so we covered our bases with both. I've also heard that people have had luck with gripe water, esp for colicky babies where reflux meds don't help. I haven't used that but you may give it a shot. Hope some of this helps and good luck!! Kristin