I can't seem to get this right and am confused!

[katie80]

Started ST baby C a week ago... haven't had much success... he started pulling up to standing on the second day... and I don't know what routine to shoot for to help him settle.  Most often, I've spent the full 45min trying to get him to settle with PD (he just keeps pulling himself up!). We then take a 15min break and try again.  He was going down relatively easy after that break, but now seems to be fighting that too. The most day time sleep he's had in the last week is 1.5hr (total), except for Sunday when I put him in the swing as he didn't nap at church in the morning and was exhausted. That day his total was 2.5hr.

We had one successful day on Saturday. Here's what it looked like...
W/E ~7am
A
S 9:45-10:45
E 10:45am
A
S 1:35-3pm
E 3:00pm
A
E 5:45pm
S ~6:30pm

So, I continued trying for the ~2h45A time (I think because he seemed OT and was going through developmental leaps), but he was fighting me.  So, I went for 3h today (he didn't end up falling asleep til 3h15 this morning) and this is what I got...
W 6:30am
E 7:30am (NF at 4:45am)
A
S 9:45-10:48am
E 11:15am
A
S tried for 1:40 (he looked tired, but never went down)
E 3:15pm (fell asleep nursing for ~25min)
A
E 5:30
S tried for 6pm, I know it was late, but the best I could do with the other kids and DH not yet home from work; asleep ~6:15pm

The thing that's confusing is the nap lengths... I get anywhere around an hr for the first nap (have had 50min, 1hr, 1hr10min) at various A times (from 2h45min to 4/5hr!).  Do you think I keep trying for around 3-3h15min A time? And what do I try for after ~1hr nap? It's so disheartening to be doing this much PD still.

[nevinsmama]

Not 1 hour naps! No! DD did this a LOT at this age and I just couldn't work it out. I had lots of help on it and in the end I just did full A for anything over 45 minutes. She honestly hardly EVER took a nap over 1 hour and 8 minutes until she was on one nap. She has always preferred more sleep an night and ho-hum nap. It's breakfast time here but I will be back, I know you are coping with a LOT and you just do what you need to do, also wonder if he is a high A type? BRB!

[jessmum46]

I think up the A times too hun x

[Ima shel Alon]

^^^Agree with the ladies. I would increase A time to 3h and stick with it for like 3-4 days and if naps are still short I would increase to 3:15h.
Alon always needed a full A time after a short nap. I don't think that all babies are like that but it's worth a try. And if his A times are too short and you try for nap too early then that could explain why PD is taking a bit longer than expected.

[katie80]

Thanks, ladies... really appreciate it. I can't see the forest for the trees right now!

DH got him this morning and said it was around 6:30. I started WD about 9:40 (meant to do it at 9:30, but needed to get G occupied) and he fell asleep on me (like in less than 2 min). I should have got up sooner to put him in more awake, but I didn't. . He did cry a little when he realized what we were doing, but he was much more relaxed during WD, so hopefully it works. He was up for 1.5hr in the night too, so clearly he's exhausted.

[katie80]

He woke after 25min , but I laid him down and he resettled! Feeling silly... I just didn't think he could last so long when he almost falls asleep nursing at 2.5hr.

[nevinsmama]

DD would fall asleep at BF too and I was always second guessing myself. I think they CAN knock out earlier and BF is so cuddly and warm and close that they WILL sleep,  but not for long! Concur with what the lovely Noa and Katherine said. You are amazing to be coping with 3 like this.

[katie80]

Coping? Thanks

Well, I'm totally encouraged. I put him down for the pm nap today and he fell asleep without a peep! He looked at me and I walked out and by the time I got to the monitor downstairs he was asleep. After all that PD (which I now feel terrible about! ). However, second nap was only 30min. I wasn't here to resettle as I walked to get Claire at school today (my mom has been doing it, but she shooed me out so I could enjoy the beautiful, sunny day ). I may have pushed too far as I didn't get him down til 3h20 A.

So, today looked like this...
W ~6:30am
E 7:30/8:30am
A (3h15)
S 9:45-11:10am (resettled at 25min)
E 11:15am/12pm/2pm (top up as needed to bring Claire to dentist and not sure when I'd be home)
A (3h20)
S 2:30-3:00pm
E 3:30pm (before I left with Claire)
A
E 6:15pm
S 6:30pm (best I could do)

What do you think? Stick with 3h15? Should I pull back to 3h-3h10? I suck at EASY!

Thanks for your encouragement to push him... I needed it!!

[Ima shel Alon]

IIWY I would try and do it gradually, but you know C best. It does sound to me like it might have been too much A time for now. It might be that 3:15 or 3:20 is actually what he needs and he will eventually sleep best on this A time but maybe he needs to get there slowly. It's anyway not that slowly, it's just sticking to 3h for 3 days and then increasing it to 3:10 for 3-4 days, till you get good naps (or better) on the 3rd, 4th day.
The fact that he is settling so easily with a longer A time is a great sign and it shows you that you are on the right track!

[katie80]

Thanks, Noa. That one day of good settling was a fluke... he's had trouble again the last couple days, although not quite as much. His first tooth cut through on Fri and it looks like the other is close behind. It's so hard to tell if he's not settling because of not totally being an independent sleeper yet and the teething discomfort or from the wrong A time. I think 3-3h15 is probably right and he'd fall asleep on me if I let him, but when I put him down and step back (even if he's a bit past the seven-mile stare), he pops up and gets angry. I think if I patted him still he might drop off, but I'm a little nervous to exchange one prop for another. I guess patting is not all that bad while teething (and way better than PD!). I'll keep working at it and hope like crazy it gets better once the teeth are through.

[jessmum46]

Hugs for the teething, it's such a pain! (No pun intended)

[Ima shel Alon]

I think we would need to wait a bit till teething is through to know more about the sleep, yk?
TBH at this age I didn't do any patting anymore because it was too stimulating. As soon as Alon was able to pull himself in bed I did only PD.

[katie80]

Maybe his A times are just higher than I think?! It's so hard to know because he looks tired most of the time and is fussy (but I guess that could be a combo of overall poor sleep and teething ). I just really want to get a decent second nap, so that I don't have to try for some kind of short CN and he's not going to bed really OT.

Here was his day Monday...
W/E 5am (didn't resettle), got him up at 6
A almost 4hr (no choice as had to get Claire to school, he was a complete wreck, so I nursed him)
S 9-10:40am
E 11:30am
A 3hr
S 1:40-2:10pm
E 3:30pm
A 2hr
S tried for nap at 4:10/15, but wouldn't go
A 2hr
E 5:30
S fell asleep nursing, maybe 5:45?

Tuesday was a wash as we had my mom's group in the morning.

Today so far...
W ~6:30am (not sure, really)
E 7:30am
A 3h15m?
S 9:48-11:11am (I actually tried for 3h... I know, I don't seem to get it, but he looked tired )
E 11:30am
A going to try for 3h15 again and will report back

What does this say to you?

[katie80]

Going for 3h15 second A and he fell asleep at 3h10 (I didn't even go up til 3h5!!) But, he slept more than an hr, so yippee!!

Here's the full day...
W ~6:30am
E 7:30am
A (3h15?)
S 9:48-11:11am (1h23min)
E 11:30am
A (3h10)
S 2:21-3:32pm (1h10min)
E 3:40pm
A (3h10; tried for 3h, but it took him a bit to settle... he looked so tired )
E 6pm
S 6:40pm

ETA: Had to resettle at 8:30pm, so likely OT still...

Now... if only I can get something similar tomorrow...

[jessmum46]

That looks pretty great overall hun, he may even be able to do a touch more A.  Both those nap lengths would have been UT here x