I can't seem to get this right and am confused!

[katie80]

maybe it's a third kid thing...

Makes me wonder why people told me the third is usually easy-going because they have to be. I think my second and third got mixed up!! I'm wondering if it's an AP issue for me too. Nights are ok... still feeding every 4-5hr, wish it was longer but better than 3-4!

Sunday is always a wash due to church... he had random naps after nursing, in the car, etc. Started with 3.5hr A again this morning and got 30min. Then of course got a second 30min nap just now. Arrrggghhh, it really shouldn't be this hard, right?!? Going to try for a few more days this week and then I don't know... I may start trying to put him down in the crib for naps as the swing isn't giving consistency either and/or reevaluate set times (will probably wait to try until net week though, as our DST ends this weekend).  Is consistency really too much to ask at this point?

What do you all think? I'm wondering if I can't see the best way forward because I'm stuck right in the middle of it. What's your outside perspective?

[shresmummy]

I also got told that... But my second and third got mixed up too. My third is such a monkey.. Won't sit still, will try to wriggle out of everything, scream to get attention and I wonder if its cos there's so much stimulation..? I'm still stuck in that three nap routine I can't seem to get out if because its the only one that works with the other two and their things.. My whole week is a write off bcos dd has swim week. So every morning he's napping in the carrier.. Way to go for consistency and proper naps I'm also stuck right in the middle so not the best to give an outside perspective! I feel for you.. Hugs hun xx

[Ima shel Alon]

Katie, I don't remember really where you stand with your A times right now. I do remember we were talking about extending them.
Are you consistent with the A times you give now (besides on Sundays)? For how long have you offered 3.5h A time in the morning?
How is he waking up from this 30min nap?

[katie80]

Besides Sunday, I did 3.5hr last Wed, Thur, Fri, Sat, and now Mon and Tues. Got 50min, 1h40, 2h, 50min, and now 2x30min. Today I settled in crib with PD as I figured if he isn't going to sleep long in the swing anyway, then he should be working on IS! So, today the A was more like 3h40min. He wakes up pretty mad, but that's kind of how he is... he never really wakes up 'happy'. Sometimes he grunts for awhile (mainly in the mornings), but otherwise cries.

Had to do a lot of PD for the second nap and he did 30min again. That one was def OT.

[katie80]

Well, some good news from me...

My mom takes the big kids on Tuesday afternoons, so I had the chance to get him another little CN in the car. I put him down at bedtime and he went to sleep all on his own within minutes. I left the room and he didn't cry and I didn't have to go back in. That has only happened a handful of times in the last 8mo! And, he stayed asleep the whole time (until 10:45)!! That is even more rare (like it's maybe happened once or twice). I typically DF around 10:30, but was still getting ready for bed, so missed it, but hey, I'm happy with that! Now, if I can just get naps and solids sorted out, I can start working of dropping those NFs.

My whole week is a write off bcos dd has swim week. So every morning he's napping in the carrier.. Way to go for consistency and proper naps

Also, meant to say... (((Hugs))), be gentle with yourself. There's only so much you can do with 3 (and 3 totally different sets of needs)! We'll get there, we will! Maybe not until they're on one nap, but that eventually happens for everybody.

[Ima shel Alon]

Glad to hear you had a good night .

IIWY I would actually keep on increasing those A times. If yesterday you managed to do 3:40h even if by mistake, keep on doing that for a few days and if naps are still not consistent then increase again to 3:50h. That's what I would do.
I think it's great you put him for his naps in his crib. I mean, like I said before we should fight one battle at a time, but if he is anyway not napping well in the swing then it's a good opportunity to tackle that.
I wouldn't worry so much about the second nap being short. I would just do a slightly earlier BT, but it might well may be that he doesn't need this second nap to be a full nap anymore.

Alon woke up as well unhappy from naps, even if he napped 2h! Always always crying But I guess it was his way of calling us to come get him.

[jessmum46]

B often wakes up crying too, I've made the mistake more than once of thinking it was because he was OT but I just think it's him sometimes.

[shresmummy]

That sounds like an awesome night! Good work

[katie80]

So, another 2x30min nap day. But, he's self-settling so much better than he ever has before, so I'm going to hold onto that for a positive! I went in just a few times for first nap and only once for second nap and then he settled all by himself. Of course, he fell asleep at the BT feed, but there's no avoiding that really (unless I feed him down with the family, but I'd rather have a decent feed).

Here's what the day looked like...
WU 6:50/55am
A 3h35/40min
S 10:30-11am
A 2h30min
S 1:30-2pm
A 3h35/4h
S 6pm??

I don't know if I should keep pushing the morning A, or pull back to 3hr with a short nap and try for a longer pm nap. It just seems like the first A is on the verge of being quite long that after a short nap he really struggles to recover, whereas if it wasn't so long, he might have more of a chance at not doing an OT second nap. Does that make sense?

I think I might start a thread about set naps on the Naps board. I know I've been hesitant and I still might not have the guts to do it, but it feels kind of crazy chasing around these A times and not really 'finding' anything.

[shresmummy]

That totally makes sense and often what I've found is that the A time before a nap is almost as important as the nap length itself. For instance if there was a really long A time followed by a short nap, the next A time has to be shorter than normal for them to recover. Or that they're grumpy for the whole of that A time. That's what I found with my other two...my third little monkey I've yet to figure him out!

What do you think about setting that first A time at 3 hrs and then short nap, then aim for a longer pm one? I think I did that with ds1 around 9 mo.

[jessmum46]

Will hold your hand Katie if you start a new thread/consider trying set naps.  I'm giving it a go with DS right now after one too many early mornings too early to say if it will work but I'm going to try to stick to it for a week and see how we go x

[shresmummy]

Count me in too Hun

[Ima shel Alon]

I don't know if I should keep pushing the morning A, or pull back to 3hr with a short nap and try for a longer pm nap.

I thought you mentioned before that it's more difficult for you to figure out the second A time after a short nap... or do I remember that wrong?

[katie80]

^^^ Ha... no, you're remembering right, Noa! I guess I was thinking that as I'm getting a short nap either way, if I pulled back the first A, he wouldn't be so OT by the second nap and I might have more of a chance at a decent one.

I honestly don't know what's best... my brain hurts from trying to figure him out and I actually feel like I don't have a lot of brain cells left because I'm so tired. 8mos of sleeping in mostly 3hr stretches is doing me in. I guess I was thinking if I had the guts to try set naps, then I would be a little more 'free' from the endless tweaking... and really, that's what the majority of other friends I have do (naps at such and such). I don't know, I just feel lost and frustrated and thought I'd ask around and see what were others' experiences of set naps. Surely, he'd have to lengthen one at some point, right?

[Ima shel Alon]

Yes, I think set naps would be what IWWD at this point.