Author Topic: 15 wk old hates swaddling and wakes every 2.5 hrs at night  (Read 562 times)

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Offline mmjones

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15 wk old hates swaddling and wakes every 2.5 hrs at night
« on: September 29, 2014, 22:40:26 pm »
Hi All!

My second child, daughter Caitlyn, is 15 weeks old tomorrow (but won't be 4 months old until the 16th of Oct.) since maybe week 2 home from the hospital she has fought being swaddled. However, it has been helpful in getting her to fall asleep BUT doesn't help her sleep longer bevause the minute she stirs she starts trying to break free. Fast forward to now - she's trying to roll over from her back to tummy and she extremely mobile. I put her down in one spot and she's in a totally different place when I go in to get her (in her crib). She still has a strong startle reflex.

She's never been a great sleeper but she used to only wake once between 2 and 3 am and again between 5 and 6 am BUT it would take LITERALLY 2.5 hours toget her to fall asleep for the night! Now, she falls asleep quicker but has been waking 4 times a night! She been breaking swaddle for months and it wakes her up. I've tried swaddle me blankets, aided and anis blankets, miracle blankets, you name it I've tried it. Also naps are touch and go. She routinely takes 39-45 minutes naps, after about 15-20 min of trying to get her to sleep again I just take her out of her room because I have a 3 year old that's also at home with me and I don't have the time to sit trapped in my daughters room all day. By then she's cranky and still sleepy. AM I SUPPOSED TO FED HER THEN EVEN IF IT HASNT BEEN 3 hours yet?!!! I usually do feed her.

So my questions are: 1) when she wakes early from a nap and won't go back to sleep but it's still like an hour before she supposed to eat again - do I feed her or make her wait the hour? What if she's over tired and needs snap before then?

2) I think it's time to break her out of the swaddle due to the fact she's always fighting it and is close to rolling over. Any suggestions on how to deal with the sleep regression that will happen? Do I shush/pat or use pu/pd or what? How do I help her through the process of getting used to her startle reflex without accidental parenting?

3) with a toddler at home too I honestly don't have the time to devote to the training process like I did when my son was little. Any suggestions of how to deal with sleep training with a toddle running around? I have read the faq entry on the subject but i still need more help.

Offline ZacsMumme

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Re: 15 wk old hates swaddling and wakes every 2.5 hrs at night
« Reply #1 on: October 01, 2014, 10:04:28 am »
Hugs, it's so much harder second time around in some ways isn't it!
First, yes....ditch the swaddle. If you can pop her into a sleep sack/sleeping bag so she can move around. Give her a lovey or something to learn to snuggle into to satisfy her fidgeting (a muslin cloth, or little blankie, soft toy etc)
4 mths is a huge sleep regression anyway and your probably in it already so you may as well start on ST etc.

What does her day look like EAS? - or at least her A times between naps.

So in answer to your Qs...
1) feed as close to 3 hrs as you can, or when she shows hungry signs. Your day will be a bit EASAES if she's short napping but that's ok ;)
2) yes ditch the swaddle. I personally would do anything I needed to for the next few days to get my kids to sleep without it, then move to independent sleeping in the cot with shh/pat, gradual weaning or PU/PD. You can use a version of sh/pat your lo likes (my boys liked their bottoms patted and white noise). She's a little young for PU/pd and it can OS. :-\
3) I think I popped my toddler in front of the telly a bit, and recruited family help when St :-\ I did 1 nap on the go ie wrap and another when my toddler napped. Or, I did 4 shorter naps and just want with the flow. We did a lot of apop in the early days because you just have to find what works, and in our house it was the easiest all round till T was closer to 8 mths.

Does any of that help at all? :P

***Sara***
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DS1 - Our sensitive soul. Silent reflux.

DS2 Our cheeky chipmunk. Reflux, MSPI.

Offline mmjones

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Re: 15 wk old hates swaddling and wakes every 2.5 hrs at night
« Reply #2 on: October 02, 2014, 03:35:19 am »
Sara that was so helpful! It is LOADS harder with the second because I don't have the time to devote to doing any one thing at full capacity so I half pay attention to my toddler (who I haven't potty trained cause I don't have the time to devote to it) and I sorta sleep train my infant/baby but I have to cap my efforts at about 30 minutes lol.

Here's a sample schedule (times change daily bases on when she woke up)

8 am - wake; diaper change; eat
8:30-9 --activity (she really starts fussing after benign awake for 45 minutes. I've found that when I stretch it to about and hour and fifteen minutes I can't get her to sleep without ALOT of work and accidental parenting because she way over tired)
9-9:30/9:45 -- sleep (wakes screaming and trying to break swaddle- I go in pay her and out pacifier back in mouth and most days she closes her eyes multiple times but pops them back open unless I pick her up and hold her and patcher back to sleep all the while she's fighting the swaddle and fighting being on my shoulder. If my son is home too I just take Caitlyn out of her room and end the nap)
10 -- eat
10:30/10:45 - down for nap (she won't fall asleep till 11);i spend the next 2.5 hours in and out of her room trying to get her to sleep. She wakes every 20-30 minutes until finally falling into deep sleep around 12:45 and sleeps for 1.5 hours
2:15 - eat
3-3:20 down for nap
3:20 - nap
3:50-4:15 - try to put her back to sleep
4:15 - take downstairs and try to not feed her till the 3 hour mark
5 - feed
5:45 - try to put down for nap
6-6:30 - sleep
6:30 - feed, bath,play,etc
7:30 -feed and swaddle for bed
8-8:30 try to get her to sleep
8:45- sleep
12:30 -awake -feed
2:45/3:15 - awake- feed (probably broken swaddle)
5/6 - awake - feed
8:45 am -awake for the new day

At one point I was able to actually stick to a 3-3.5 hr easy schedule but when the short naps started I didn't know how to handle them. She is exclusively breast fed (rarely gets bottles).  Her pediatrician says she she be eating every 4 hours so I shoot for every 3.5 as a happy medium.

I just don't really know how to deal with the short naps vs feeding schedule and the swaddle issue. Any help would be appreciated!


****UPDATE - I started weaning her from the swaddle on Sunday. It's been 4 full days and it's been rough but seems to be getting better. I use the zipadeezipp. I've been doing tons of accidental parenting just to help her through this stage though. So I have to hold her till she falls asleep, she wakes 3-4 times a night and it's been at the same times for the past 3 nights and instead of fighting with her to go back to sleep (cause I'm exhausted) I just feed her and she goes back to sleep no problem. I'm sure I've created more work for myself later when I have to stop her from doing that too :-(

Offline ZacsMumme

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Re: 15 wk old hates swaddling and wakes every 2.5 hrs at night
« Reply #3 on: October 04, 2014, 18:46:38 pm »
Honestly I did the same with tom when weaning the swaddle. ;)
Looking at your eas I think the first nap is too early and she isn't tried enough. Then gets into an UT/OT loop (sooo common)

Am I right the first A is only an hour? - at 4ish mths your looking more closer to 1.5-2 hrs for a first A time. What about trying to push that A time out a bit, then resettle at the 40 min mark if him have to. See if it gives you a better nap?

The next one or last one you can always get out and about yk ;) particularly if the day turns to custard anyway
***Sara***
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DS1 - Our sensitive soul. Silent reflux.

DS2 Our cheeky chipmunk. Reflux, MSPI.

Offline sarah_london

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Re: 15 wk old hates swaddling and wakes every 2.5 hrs at night
« Reply #4 on: October 06, 2014, 14:00:23 pm »
I just wanted to say that weaning my LO from the swaddle around 4 months was the best thing I ever did. I did a lot of shushing in his room and was amazed that he got the hang of self settling. It he could not settle for a nap or woke early for one then I would AP by going out in the stroller. He mostly would not fall back asleep if he had a short nap but at least it's some peaceful A time. I used the halo sleepsack / swaddle. Have heard good things about the zipadeezip too.

I agree that training is much harder the second time round given the needs of the older child.

Hang in there!!