In a pickle or par for the course?

[HenaV]

R is 3y 3months (on the 8th) and we are in the process of trying to drop the nap.

I posted a little while ago when I suspected we were headed that way and since having been allowing her a 30min nap. Anytime between 1-2.30pm. It was suggested that I try an 11am nap when life permits but that has proven difficult as I am working a fair bit at the moment and DH (who is home) is not on board with the theory.

She has apparently been a misery to wake (bugging new she was the same after an hour) and apparently it's taking an age to wake her so she ending up with 40/45m instead of 30 and apparently she's soooooo upset that she doesn't know what to do with herself.

Yesterday she woke around 5.30am (I think as a result of a longer nap) and so given I was home I thought I'd try nn. She did ok. Quiet time with me on the sofa and peppa pig between 1-2pm with a Fairly low key day and in bed for 6pm (asleep by). The problem i heard her around 5.30am today! She so quiet though I have no clue if she went back to sleep or not. I suspect not.

So what to do - preserve with CT NN or try something else? Is this jut how it is and things will settle or am I making it more difficult for her?

Tia

Hena x

[anna*]

I don't know, with Aud there came a time when a nap was more trouble than it's worth so we just stopped. It prob took a few days for her to settle into longer nights, and a couple of weeks to stop acting tired at lunch time.

[HenaV]

Thanks hon. Hope things are going well with A x

[jessmum46]

I'd stick with the NNDs too, J could manage the NNDs ok but was a bear to wake if she napped (unless it was 15-20 mins tops) and would be far grumpier than if she hadn't napped at all.  30 mins was a horrible time to wake her - I think because she was about to head/was in a much deeper sleep by then.  15-20 mins was still a light doze so ok.  Occasionally now (no regular naps for 4-5 months) she will have the odd 20 min catnap if she's extra tired for some reason and still go to bed pretty much as usual.  Yesterday she even voluntarily just climbed into bed mid-afternoon and passed out!

[HenaV]

Aaaaaaaargh! Driving me nuts. I don't get it (and I'm tired  )

So the day before yesterday R fell asleep out and about DH tells me (11.15-11.45). I wasn't surprised, she'd had NN the day before and was awake by at least 5.30am. On the basis of the EW and her mood  I put her to bed at 6.30pm. She was out like a light.

I don't know exactly what time she woke yesterday but I first heard her around 5.30, this was after a 12.50 am NW. She is still in a nappy at night. I think we could sort that out if we can fix the sleep as she's more often than not dry. However the NW was her doing a huge wee which she thought had leaked (hadn't) but I think the sensation woke her. Changed her and back to bed. So then as I say, I heard her around 5.30. She was tired and bad tempered yesterday and her behaviour isn't shocking but she's just hard being hard work, sigh.

Yesterday - no nap. BT 6pm (out like a light). SSTN. Called me at 5.40am - got a bogie, need a tissue (so goodness knows what time she woke) and them
Called me again at 6.40 for something or another.

I just don't get it. Why is she waking so early? It doesn't matter it would seem if she's napping or not. We set to go to see my mum today so will be in the car for a bit, and she will
I have no doubt fall asleep because of nn yesterday and the ew today.

Is this normal? Am I missing something?

H x

[jessmum46]

Sounds normal hun, it may be she won't consistently lengthen her nights until the naps become much less frequent. Do you have a gro clock or similar to reinforce WU time? I found set BT was helpful too at this stage x

[HenaV]

Thanks hon.

Yes she does have a gro clock - it's set for 7am. Tbf she never gets up or asks to before mr sunshine comes up. She's calling me in for silly things I think because she can't get back to sleep etc despite me reiterating that she needs to wait for mr sunshine/ morning time etc when I
Put her to bed.

As predicted she fell asleep on the way yk my mums (just before 11am) for 30mins to the minute waking herself. We were a little late back so she didn't up up bed until 7.15pm and straight to sleep
From what I could tell.

SSTN despite the nap and called me in at 6.05am for something random - don't know what time she WU.

I guess we're just going to have p roll with it and see how things pan out. We've got three days of preschool now so that's going to be fun with no nap!!

H xxx

[*Becky*]

how's it going?

[HenaV]

Thanks for checking in my lovely. In a word or two, not well!!!

The good news is - since her nap in the car on Sunday she's not had a nap. BT is at 6pm but she is just ridiculously tired.

She's unsettled tossing and turning between 10-12pm which is usually OT here. Monday night she woke at 4am (10h - always OT) had to go to her but thankfully she went back to sleep and woke just before 7am. Tues night was better - I think because she'd had an 11h day so wasn't as tired by BT. But she must have woken around 6am if not earlier (don't know because I didn't hear her) - by 5pm yesterday it was melt down at almost every turn! Last night she called me in at 3.30 having lost her lovie and then at 6.30am for a tissue.

I can only think she's OT, it most certainly can't be UT. I think it feels worse as I am working a lot at the moment so prepping until 12/1am to then be guaranteed an interrupted few hours sleep.

I understand I just need to ride it out but I hope things turn around soon. I'm so tried this morning I feel sick.   

[jessmum46]

Hugs hun, the OT is inevitable but great you are managing to resettle her. She will get there xx

[*Becky*]

sounds exactly like where we are...we are having NWings and EWings. Oh and faffing around at BT. The fun of it!

[HenaV]

It's just bonkers. We thankfully are but getting BT nonsense and as soon as she's in her bed she's out for the count, it's the NW, EW and high emotion the rest of the time which is just beyond comprehension. We've started to call 4.45pm onwards the witching hour. She is just well...

Tonight I asked her to wash her hands for dinner, she didn't want to (just because I had asked) we had a full on melt down with me trying to calm her down BT taking her away from the kitchen where everyone else was, to which she protested by kicking and pushing - so much so she managed to push me over as I was crouched down to her level trying to calm her. I have never know anything like it. I know it's because she's tired but really. I keep saying to her, I know you are tired but that is not an excuse for bad behaviour. I don't know how I'm keeping my cool tbh. She is just aarrrgh!!! It doesn't help that I too am shattered and feel like in living on my nerves at the moment. It's ridiculious, I've gone to bed early tonight but feel so anxious about R I can't sleep. She's just so horribly tired and doesn't know what to do with herself. It's just heartbreaking to see her in such a state.

Anyway, sorry for the moan but thanks for the opportunity to vent!

Oh, she had 10minutes in the car today 2.25-2.35, she was still a mess by 4.45pm   

H xx

[jessmum46]

Can you pull BT in any earlier?

[HenaV]

I don't think I can. The reality is she could probably do with going to bed at 5pm. Firstly the thought fills with me fear - what time will she wake for the rest of the day. But if I were advising I know I'd say, can it really get any worse - umm No!!! But on a practical level we would struggle. I'll speak to DH about it. I know he'll agree that she would happily go at 5pm onwards but I'm not sure we could do it which is a shame.

Last night, BT 6pm (alseep), mumured around 8.15pm, called me in at 2.50 and 6.30am despite me re-I forcing the no nonsense at night and wait for Mr Sunshine. To top it she's now getting a cold probably because she's so run down from lack I sleep.

I'm a cross between frustrated as I can't make this better for her and for us and just wanting to cry! Ridiculous I know.

Thanks for listening x

[jessmum46]

Hugs, it's such a frustrating transition at times.  Perhaps you could do a 5pm BT as a one-off at the weekend or some other day when it's logistically a bit easier? Even once a week may just help take the edge off.  Are you still trying for naps or quiet time at all?  What sort of time/A time after WU?  When J was at this stage she surprised me sometimes by taking a little nap at nursery about 5h after morning WU when I'd have never thought she'd go for it that early.  Could be worth a shot?