new to EASY. Help with 5 month old with no routine

[sleepisoverrated]

Hello all

I'm looking for some advice as to where to start trying to get my 5 month old into a routine. Currently we don't have any set schedule, and our days and nights are chaotic.

Typically, baby wakes around 8am, naps for 45 minutes after 2-3hrs awake time, and goes to bed between 8.30-9.15pm. Often it's a whole different pattern though. On a really good night, she will wake for feeds (breastfed) at around midnight and 4am. This is rare. She normally wakes every 2hrs or so through the night, and at least once a week will have a 1-3hr awake period in the middle of the night for no apparent reason. A few times a week she will have a random 2-3hr nap in the day, often in the afternoon.

She feeds around every every 2hrs in the day, and needs holding to get to sleep. Any attempts to shush/pat back to sleep at night results in a wide awake baby. The ONLY way to get her back to sleep at night is to feed her.

Any advice?

[Buttonbobs]

Hi there.

Sorry to hear you are struggling at the moment - welcome to BW!

It does sound like your LO could be struggling with sleep because she is not really tired enough at the times you are putting her down for naps. These undertired (UT) naps are often 45 mins long.  This might then be leading to long night wakings. Could you post a couple of real days in EAS format so we can take a look?

It might be that overall she is quite tired at the end of the day and this is contributing to her wakings.

There may also be a bit of a feed to sleep association, and possibly a bit of a snacking habit. Many babies would be working towards feeding once every 3-4 hours at this point. Are you doing a brief top up feed before naps or are they full feeds? are you feeding until she falls asleep? As a starting point you could try to ensure that the feeds finish off with her still awake or drowsy rather than completely asleep. You could always do a nappy change after a feed to start separating the E from the S. You could start shh/patting with her in your arms and then continue patting when you lie her in the cot. You should continue to pat until she falls asleep and possibly until sometime after to ensure she is deeply asleep.

This is a slightly difficult one as a baby on a routine that isn't quite right will wake more, and it will be harder to sleep train them. The feeding to sleep works but then becomes more trouble than it's worth as she becomes more dependent on you for resettling and wakes more at night and takes shorter naps.

Have you read here:

Starting EASY - all you need to know and more!

There are some good topics within that link - and also here:

Starting E.A.S.Y. at Four Months or Older

A baby of five months of "normal" weight should be able to stay awake between sleeps in the day for approximately 2-2.5 hours. See here:

Average A times- BOOKMARK ME!

These are just averages, and some babies need more and some less. You have indicated that sleep in he day happens at some point between 2 and 3 hours. If you haven't done so already, keep a log of her timings for a few days. This will help us to have a look in more detail. A 30 min nap is often indicative of an overtired LO, and as mentioned above 45 minutes can mean an LO was Ut a the point of benign out down for the nap.

something to aim for would be to try and get the first A time giving you a long nap- perhaps start with 2.5 hours (from eyes open to eyes closed - so this includes any feeding  time). Keep a note of how long the nap is, if you get a 30 minute nap it may be worth trying to resettle using shh-pat. If you get a 45min UT nap it can be much harder to resettle. Either way, at the end of he nap you may need to make the next A time shorter (perhaps 2 hours from eyes open to eyes closed).

I'm sorry this is a lot of information - please do ask if some of this doesn't make sense.

Good luck, and keep us posted with how you are getting on and your LOs EASY if you can.