Author Topic: FTM and not sure whether to read my baby? Or follow the routine ...HELP  (Read 1015 times)

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Offline SallyandJack

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First off...thanks for reading and any help will be greatly appreciated!

I bought 'solves all your problems' on Saturday after a complete meltdown on Friday. Crying and not coping.

I have a four month old (on Thursday) and was sleeping through at 2.5 months until we hit 3 months. Then he was waking every hour - never knew if it was dummy and settle or if it was food! We did both And had 1.5 months of hellish nights. Up until Saturday (when we started EASY) he was eating anywhere from 1.5 to 2.5 hours (about 4oz a time) but would nap 3 hours in the morning and go over 4 hrs without food. Then about 2 more 1.5 - 2 hour naps.

We decided to start him on 4 hour EASY and it has been fine - he goes 4 he's between feeds without much grumble! However naps seem to be 'light' he'll wake after 45 mins and need re-settling and then seem to be in REM sleep for much of it - fidgeting and twitching.  He's still not sleeping through - he's better and we don't do a feed (he's 17lbs and has 6oz-7oz per feed during day)

I have these questions :-

- he seems to be tired after 1 and 1/2 hours (or less!) and think we often miss the sleep window - can I put him down earlier than 2 hours? Do I force him to stay awake?
- can his naps be longer than 2 hours?
- why are his naps not so deep now?
- after his cat nap he is really tired and groggy and have a horrible hour and then screams after bath when changing him etc. cause he's so tired - can he cat nap longer?
- should he be on 4hr or 3.5hr?
- Why is he still waking between 2am-3am but goes to sleep again after settling with a dummy and soft words (he's moaning, not crying when he wakes) he does this again between 5am-6am - why?


Offline jessmum46

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Re: FTM and not sure whether to read my baby? Or follow the routine ...HELP
« Reply #1 on: October 15, 2014, 08:39:37 am »
Hugs hugs hugs, four months is the pits sleep-wise!  Right there with you :-*

Could you post what your actual day looks like right now?  (Not the ideal one).  Is he an independent sleeper yet?

In answer to your questions - no, don't force him to stay awake.  If he is tired, he's tired and keeping him up longer is likely to result in a shorter nap and/or an unsettled nap like you are seeing.  The only time you would actively try to keep LO awake longer is if you are getting short UT naps from which LO is waking happy, and then you would only push him by 5-10 mins every few days to prevent OT.  I wouldn't let him have more than one nap in the day over two hours.  A typical four hour EASY is 2x2h naps and a catnap which is fine, but for example I would t let him have two 2.5-3h naps as that will rob his night sleep.  If one of his "long" naps turns out to be short, I think it's ok for the other one to be a bit longer than 2h.

I might be able to answer your other questions a little better when I can see how your day looks in practice :). If he's grumpy in the evening after the CN though have you tried bringing BT a little earlier?

Offline SallyandJack

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Re: FTM and not sure whether to read my baby? Or follow the routine ...HELP
« Reply #2 on: October 17, 2014, 08:22:31 am »
Thanks your reply 😊

Typical (non ideal day)

7am wake up (I wake him or he's been moaning for 10 mins)
7.10 - feed (5-6oz with infant gaviscon for reflux)
7.30 - activity (jumperoo, talking, watching TV, walking around)
8.30-9 (have been trying to push him later but sometimes can't) down for nap - goes down easily, on sofa next to me, independently sends himself off to sleep
9.30-11 - wake up (he's been now only having 45mins nap because I think I'm ignoring his cues and going by the clock and he's OT when he goes down most days)
11- feed (5-7oz)
11.15/11.30 - activity
12-1 - nap (depending on when he went down in the morning and how fat I can push him)
12.45-3 wake up (same thing as the morning)
3 - feed (5-7oz)
3 onwards mr grumpy, fussy, screaming
Won't cat nap for longer than 20 mins
6.45 feed - fussing (6-7oz)
7-7.15 - bath (loves his bath)
7.15 - massage/moisturise and down - sometimes without a sound and again falls asleep independently, other times 10 mins of screaming.
Anywhere between 2-5am wakes for 15-30 mins - moans (no screaming or crying)and we put dummy in 2-3 times and he settles and goes to sleep
5.30-7am pretty much awake and grumbling/ moaning

Naps have no become a nightmare since my last post - he was a great napper before we started the 4 he EASY and think it's cause before (no routine) I read his sleepy cues immediately (anywhere between 1 - 1/2 hours awake) and he'd go down and sleep for at least 2 hours and sleep through noise and everything. No I'm pushing for 2 hours awake

What am I doing wrong??? Should I do EASAEAS?
If he only has 45 mins on that first nap my day becomes hell - I'm currently holding my breath as I write this - hoping he doesn't wake up at 45 mins (9.30) and daren't leave his side to make sure I try to settle before he kicks off

Offline SallyandJack

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Re: FTM and not sure whether to read my baby? Or follow the routine ...HELP
« Reply #3 on: October 17, 2014, 08:48:34 am »
Oh and dream feed (around 6oz) at 10.30pm

Offline VC25

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Re: FTM and not sure whether to read my baby? Or follow the routine ...HELP
« Reply #4 on: October 22, 2014, 23:56:16 pm »
SallyandJack,

We are in the EXACT same boat as you, except we get, at most, three 45 min naps a day. We started the 4-hour EASY plan last week and it worked like magic for night -3rd and 4th day he slept all the way through, but since then, he is up more than ever! I am starting to feel so weary from fighting him (PU/PD) with naps.

Have you had any improvements since your last post?

Offline jessmum46

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Re: FTM and not sure whether to read my baby? Or follow the routine ...HELP
« Reply #5 on: October 25, 2014, 08:13:24 am »
Sorry I've not been back for a few days, how are things now?  Have you gone back to following cues?  It sounds like that was working well for you previously x