12wo....Is it too early for EASY?

[gabigabi1999]

hello everyone!   

So...I know tracy says you have to start EASY as early as possible. But here's the thing...I just think LO is too young for it. She won't sleep on her own, and not only that, she won't sleep in the crib during the day (as soon as I put her down, she cries). I hold her almost the entire day so it's difficult for me to eat or take a quick shower unless someone else is home (which almost never happens). Is it only me? I feel terrible, I can't seem to get anything done.

Anyway, I know that some people say that babies are usually ready for a routine on 3rd or 4th month, so is it possible that things will get better and I will be able to set a routine when she gets older or carrying her around is actually making thigs worse? What should I do? I will never let her "cry it out" on the crib, but this makes holding her the only option left, since she cries as soon as I put her down.

I don't feel like she doesn't like the crib because she sleeps there all night (which is great, and I'm so glad LO sleeps through the night already) but I put her there when she's already asleep - which doesn't work during the day. I just think she doesn't like it when I put her down.

What do you guys think? 

[jessmum46]

Hi and welcome . Given we're a whole forum dedicated to BW, no we wouldn't say 12 weeks is too early!  But it's important to understand what EASY is and isn't.  It is designed to be a flexible structured routine of eating, followed by some activity time and then a sleep.  It isn't a schedule (which means doing everything by the clock) as naturally there will be some variation in when babies are tired, when they are hungry etc.  Although one of the foundations of EASY is independent sleep, it's totally possible to use whatever you are comfortable with now ie holding to sleep to get the eat, activity, sleep pattern established and then work on independent sleeping when you are both ready. 

Have a look at this link particularly the bits on teaching sleep to young babies/shh pat: Starting EASY - all you need to know and more!

I think you may have misunderstood a little when you say there are no options other than CIO or holding her.  CIO as you probably know is something we do not support at all and refers to leaving a baby alone to cry until they give up and fall asleep.  Tracy believed that broke the bond of trust between parent and child and that there was always a gentler way to teach good sleep habits.  However, that doesn't mean there won't be crying, but there is a world of difference between crying alone and crying with your parent to comfort and support you.  Crying is a baby's means of communication, so of course she will cry when you put her in her crib in the day.  She's saying "hey mum, this isn't how we do it!  I'm tired, you're meant to be holding me!"  Shh pat is a grat tool for helping to calm and comfort her so she can fall asleep in the crib.  You can even start out using it in your arms for now so she gets used to it, and then gradually work on putting her down more awake and doing more shh pat in the crib.

How does that sound?

[gabigabi1999]

Thank you so much!! Your answer is very helpful!

I can see the difference when you put it so clearly. It makes total sense; as long as I am there to comfort her, it's not the end of the world if she cries a little. I'm gonna work with that. 

I understand that I should work on patterns first and then on independent sleeping, right? The only pattern she has for now is her night sleep - she goes to bed at 8pm and wakes up around 6am. During the day, she seems a bit random. However, I see this nighttime pattern as a huge step for her, because she didn't have any at first. Maybe in the next weeks she will start with a more visible pattern during the day as well?

Thank you so much for your advice!

[jessmum46]

Yes the 3-6 month time is biologically when LOs start organising their daytime sleep a little better.  You can help her along the way by learning to recognise her tired cues and having a rough idea of how long she can stay awake without getting overtired.  This might help: Average A times- BOOKMARK ME! . If you keep track for a few days you may be surprised to find more of a pattern than you think, but if not, don't worry.  Closer to six months things do often start to settle down and become a little more predictable and lots of Mums find getting to two naps (around 5-7 months) really helps.