Author Topic: My nine month old is waking up every hour...Please help  (Read 3484 times)

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Offline ShannanB

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My nine month old is waking up every hour...Please help
« on: October 27, 2014, 17:51:00 pm »
My 9 month old baby wakes up almost every hour of the night. When she wakes up I first try rubbing her back (which works maybe 1 out of every 6 waking) then I try rocking her if that doesn't work, and then nursing. Nursing always works, and usually she holds out until I nurse her because that's her (faultly) sleep association. I am beyond exhausted.

Our daily schedule looks something like this.

6:00am wake up
7:00am breakfast...something like bananas, kale, and hemp seed puree
7:45am Calm down time- change diaper, read books, sing etc
8:00am nurse/rock to sleep
8:15- 9:15 or 10ish Sleep
When she wakes we will play, go outside etc., run errands...
12:00 Lunch- I will first nurse her and then offer some sort of baby food
1:30  Calm down time- change diaper, read books, sing etc
2:00ish Nurse and/or rock to sleep
2:00-3:30 Nap
I will nurse her again sometime in this time depending on when she seems hungry
3:30-6:00pm Play
6:00 Dinner ...consisting of some sort of baby food plus a quinoa puree for extra substance
7:00 Bath
7:30 pjs books, wind down time
8:00pm nurse and/or rock to sleep
Then the wake ups begin....

She sleeps with a lovie and sometimes with a pacifier but doesn't rely on or NEED the pacifier.

please help. I know that we need to stop nursing to sleep but I am not sure how to begin breaking her (and me) of that. Its my lazy go to habit because I am so exhausted and its easy. Sometimes when I don't do it,  she is then awake for 3 hours in the night, so i try to do everything I can to avoid that!

We have a very busy schedule as I am a "stay at home mom" but am also a real estate agent but work part time so she is in the car often. I am guilty of knowing that she will take a good 2 hour nap if I go for a drive so after a hard night I will fall back on that.

She has a REALLY hard time putting herself to sleep and I know this probably our main issue but I don't know how to fix it. I have tried in the past to put her down awake and she thrashes around in her pack and play for hours. Its interesting to me because it is apparent that she is trying. She closes her eyes and holds her lovie up to her face as she always does when she tries to sleep but she just rolls from side to side and gets really frustrated. She of course has absolutely no problem putting herself to sleep in the car.

I also want to add that I don't think that she is nursing enough during the day because she nurses all night long so I think that at this point, we are reliant on those feedings. I am not sure how to break this habit!

Please please help!
« Last Edit: October 27, 2014, 22:01:33 pm by ShannanB »

Offline mommybear!

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Re: My nine month old is waking up every hour...Please help
« Reply #1 on: October 28, 2014, 01:55:11 am »
Hugs, that is exhausting.  I will try my best to give you some advice.  It's been awhile, my lo is about to turn two.  Right off the bat though, I'm not sure I had such a small gap with wake up to first nap.  You may just have to play with your active times a little or reference others at 9 months.  I wouldn't be so hard on yourself about nursing to sleep.  I still do it, just make sure to pull her off before she is fully asleep.  I did however stop through the night, which was a little rough.  It will take you longer to get her down and if DH can help, let him. If she is doing it at the same exact time every night, it's a habit not a need. You can try a technique of stirring her before she wakes.  Not enough to wake her but enough to reset the sleep cycle thus missing the time she usually wakes.  I would only try that though if it's the exact same time every night.  (sleep cycles last 45 minutes according to Dr. Ferber) Sounds like you are stuck in an overtired cycle though.  I would bump up dinner a little and bed time but keep wake up time the same.  An earlier bedtime has proven to help catch up on sleep so to speak.  Hope this helps. : ) hang in there

Offline deb

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Re: My nine month old is waking up every hour...Please help
« Reply #2 on: October 28, 2014, 02:18:29 am »
Any chance she's teething?

That night sleep isn't a long enough block - short bits of sleep looks like OT to me too.

Definitely send hubby to help her at night if you can; if she doesn't smell milk/Mommy she may go back down more easily with less resistance. He can try giving her a pacifier to see if that will settle her. When she nurses, does she take a full feed, or just suckle for a bit to soothe and then give up and go back to sleep? If the second, DH is likely to be a better bet to help wean from the night feeds. (Watch for engorged breasts in the morning tho!)

When she wakes at 6, are you nursing her right then? I'm wondering from what you have as her solids if she gets enough fats to fill her up during the day. It looks like most of her nursing is naptime or midday; when else is she nursing? Babies need plenty of high-quality fat for calories and for nerve and brain development, and breast milk is a huge source, even at this age?

Offline ShannanB

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Re: My nine month old is waking up every hour...Please help
« Reply #3 on: October 28, 2014, 15:49:15 pm »
Thank you so much for the responses!

She wakes up at various times during the night, not the same times so I don't think its habit.

When she does wake up she nurses for just a few minutes to fall back to sleep- doesn't fully nurse. However, I have always felt that my milk supply isn't great so i have always wondered if she is getting enough during the day. I try to nurse her quite a few more times than our schedule indicates but she just isn't interested. She is so easily distracted. I try to go in a quiet room etc and it may work for a second but then she sees something or just begins being silly. I bought some really good goat formula from the  UK and am trying to give that to her a couple times a day to fill her up and increase her fat intake. Do you have any other ideas how to do this? What else should I be feeding her?

She is teething but unfortunately this lovely "stage" has been going on since she was 4 months. Before then she was sleeping 9 hours straight!! So while I am sure that isn't helping, it can't be fully to blame :)

When she wakes up at 6 I do nurse her right away but she is ready to play and will not go back to sleep. I know this isn't enough sleep her for little body. I did try putting her to sleep last night at 7:00 and she did a little better and still woke up at 6:00, so that's a start!


Offline deb

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Re: My nine month old is waking up every hour...Please help
« Reply #4 on: October 28, 2014, 17:13:57 pm »
If she's not getting a solid afternoon nap (and even if she is), that last big A time is pretty long - it's really 3:30-8PM! I'd aim more for a 6-6:30 bedtime if she's waking that early.

Are you in the US or UK - when is/was your time change? You may be able to use it to shift when she eats and sleeps relative to the clock.

Offline ShannanB

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Re: My nine month old is waking up every hour...Please help
« Reply #5 on: October 28, 2014, 17:23:02 pm »
You are right...that is a really long time. I always hear to stretch them...while also hearing to put them to put early. All advice is so conflicting, but obviously stretching wasn't working :) So I will keep trying to move her bedtime earlier. We are in the US, so we fall back this weekend.

Do you have any advise as to what other fats I should be giving her?

Offline deb

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Re: My nine month old is waking up every hour...Please help
« Reply #6 on: October 28, 2014, 17:32:04 pm »
Natural sat fats - like from dairy (if she can tolerate that) and meat - are good (it's the trans fats, the hydrogenated ones like Crisco, that you want to avoid like the plague!). Coconut oil is awesome, as is olive oil. If you're giving chicken, go ahead and use dark meat as it has more fat. (They need these for brain and nerve development). When she's old enough, eggs are good too. Oh, and fish oil and flaxseed oil (those are only for cold/room temp, though, not for cooking, but are great in dressings and dips and spreads) are high in Omega-3's.

But for now, if you can do it, breastmilk has a good fat content too. If she gets distracted nursing, can you pump and give it in a cup, or mix with the other food she's eating? My older nursed well till a bit over 15 months, but my younger decided at 8 months that even at 3 minutes (she was pretty efficient!), the breast was still too slow - but she'd drink expressed milk from a cup with a straw in 20-30 seconds - that was more her Spirited speed!

It's probably better to stretch in the mornings when they're relatively fresh if they let you, but too much stretching in the afternoons is when you're more likely to get an unsettled OT night sleep since they're running on adrenaline by bedtime.

This weekend might be a great time to try shifting things since the time is changing; you don't need to have any qualms whatsoever about putting her to bed an hour earlier or even more starting any time now, since starting Sunday that time will be an hour off on the clock. If you start now, perhaps you can shift her AM wakeup so it's not 5AM come Sunday morning! LOL I'd go a shorter playtime before supper, and a short time between supper and bed for maybe 90 minutes earlier, and see what happens. A longer winddown if she lets you might be good too, in her room in the dark, maybe quiet music or a sound machine if you use one.

Good luck! Hope something in there is helpful.

Offline ShannanB

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Re: My nine month old is waking up every hour...Please help
« Reply #7 on: October 28, 2014, 17:44:17 pm »
Thank you SO much! I really appreciate it! I am going to give all of that a try!

Offline ShannanB

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Re: My nine month old is waking up every hour...Please help
« Reply #8 on: October 29, 2014, 03:32:48 am »
Another question...what do you suggest I do when she ends up napping from 1-2? What time do you think I should put her down for bed?

Offline deb

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Re: My nine month old is waking up every hour...Please help
« Reply #9 on: October 29, 2014, 10:50:24 am »
I think that would depend partly on what her AM nap was like; I might try for a 3rd nap - catnap - mid-afternoon, unless she seemed really tired and out of sorts.

My second DD was (IS!) quite Spirited and we used to joke that for her first 2 years, no 2 days had the same sleep schedule: she'd wake at different times, nap at different times for different lengths of time, go to bed for the night at different times, NW at different times....really kept us on our toes. We faked it a lot. LOL

Offline ShannanB

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Re: My nine month old is waking up every hour...Please help
« Reply #10 on: October 30, 2014, 21:51:03 pm »
Welll night 3 of early to bed and we have transitioned from waking every hour of the night to just 3 times the last 3 times! Thanks for the suggestions!

Offline deb

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Re: My nine month old is waking up every hour...Please help
« Reply #11 on: October 31, 2014, 02:14:00 am »
YAY! Fingers crossed it keeps improving! :)

Offline ShannanB

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Re: My nine month old is waking up every hour...Please help
« Reply #12 on: November 04, 2014, 14:27:02 pm »
We were doing so well and then something happened and I am not sure what. She has been waking up at 4 for the last 3 mornings and only taking 1/2 hour naps during the day and is then fussy alllll day (She is also teething- her top two teeth are about to pop through). During the night she is doing better, she is waking up at 11, 2, 3, and 4...and is then up for good.

Most importantly, what do I do about this early wake time?

Thank you!

Offline deb

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Re: My nine month old is waking up every hour...Please help
« Reply #13 on: November 04, 2014, 15:38:11 pm »
If she's teething, is she getting pain meds just before sleep time? If you get one that lasts long enough for her to get some restorative sleep, the EW might resolve itself if she's not in pain at that time.

Offline ShannanB

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Re: My nine month old is waking up every hour...Please help
« Reply #14 on: November 04, 2014, 16:17:37 pm »
I am not big on pain meds but she is wearing a amber necklace and getting homeopathic teething tablets. Hopefully it is just due to her teething...I just hope its not her new habit!

Ever since we started our new schedule, she has been waking up at 11 and 2 which seems to be her habit. I do nurse her at these times and she just nurses for a minute to put her back to sleep.... how do you recommend I break this habit....Do you think this discontinuing to nurse her will help?

At this point in time, I am so beyond exhausted after not sleeping for 6 months that I am lazy during the night and prefer to nurse than walk around and wake myself up even more. :(

Offline deb

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Re: My nine month old is waking up every hour...Please help
« Reply #15 on: November 04, 2014, 16:52:48 pm »
I went back and forth on pain meds and in the end I decided that sleep - for BOTH of us! - was more important till the cycle was broken. When J's canines were coming thru, she was in AGONY Every. Single. Night. from about 17-19 months - so we medicated at bedtime and again about 2AM when she woke sobbing..... :(

Might be worth trying something stronger to get you through the hump; if she's in pain when she wakes, she's going to need comforting at the very least to get her back to sleep, so that's likely the short bit of suckling. Just withholding the breast isn't likely to work if it's you going in; I sent DH in for a few nights so DD didn't smell the milk, so she was more amenable to taking just a binky from him, and when she wasn't hurting any more she'd sleep thru and it became a non-issue.

You kind of have to decide where the line is, I guess, where it's worth trying something stronger for the pain or just nursing to sleep and trying to sleep train once this passes. In our case, once the teething was done, then she got a cold, so it was always something else we had to wait to pass.

Offline ShannanB

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Re: My nine month old is waking up every hour...Please help
« Reply #16 on: November 06, 2014, 22:36:38 pm »
Urg....it is always something, you are right! I think we may be nearing the point of giving in and giving pain meds.

One more question....She sleeps in our room....our room is quite large and is on the opposite end of her room. My mom is convinced that I need to put her in her own room, but her room is downstairs and just the thought of going up and down the stairs countless times in the night makes me want to cry. It scares me to think that it could put us even further backward, but MAYBE just maybe it would help....what are your thoughts on this?

OK, thank you again, so so much for your guidance!

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Re: My nine month old is waking up every hour...Please help
« Reply #17 on: November 07, 2014, 00:40:07 am »
Hmmm.....Maybe for now try having her nap in there to get her familiar with it, and get the sleep sorted better before taking that step. One thing at a time. LOL

Good luck whatever you decide!  :-*

Offline ShannanB

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Re: My nine month old is waking up every hour...Please help
« Reply #18 on: November 13, 2014, 02:55:39 am »
So I think her teething pain is done (at least for now)and she is going to bed between 6:30 & 7:30 depending on when her last nap was. She is then waking up at 12:30 and then more often after that and waking up for good between 4:30 and 5:00!! I do nurse her in that time because I have found that If I don't, she goes back to sleep with no problems but wakes up in 15-30 minutes thereafter which makes me think she truly is hungry. She is not wanting to nurse during the day beside from right before naps and even then its iffy. So I am pumping but it seems as though my milk supply is suffering :( With that being said, I am ok nursing her during the night to ensure that she is getting enough calories and milk.

My main question right now is how to do I get her to sleep in a little more??

Thank you!!

Offline ShannanB

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Re: My nine month old is waking up every hour...Please help
« Reply #19 on: November 13, 2014, 14:44:29 pm »
She nursed numerous times last night and her diaper was not nearly as wet as it usually is in the am...What do I do to ensure that my milk doesn't go away??

Also, do you think its more important to vary bedtime and put her down at the 3 hour mark or have a set time that she goes to bed every night. She has been Horrible at napping this past week or so, waking up after 30 minutes! Its never easy :(

Offline deb

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Re: My nine month old is waking up every hour...Please help
« Reply #20 on: November 13, 2014, 15:02:18 pm »
Missed your post yesterday, sorry!

Somewhere about this time with J, who'd been waking at 6AM on the dot for a few months, I'd go in and just hold her back to sleep, thus ensuring (or hoping!) that I too could get another 45 minutes' snooze. After a few days of this, she actually began sleeping in on her own. No idea if that might be worth trying to break the cycle. I don't remember - does she use a pacifier/dummy? We were able to use that instead of the boob to get J back to sleep at night.

Will she nurse if she's truly hungry? There's a growth spurt/developmental leap (warning: you're approaching a prime Separation Anxiety timeframe now) about 9 months, so her EASY may need further tweaking. Short naps sometimes indicate OT and sometimes UT, so sometimes you have to play with the A time.

Does the (more-or-less usual) EASY look different now than the one you originally posted?

Offline ShannanB

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Re: My nine month old is waking up every hour...Please help
« Reply #21 on: November 13, 2014, 17:52:01 pm »
It looks different only because she is waking so dang early. So two hours after wakes up she is beyond exhausted but then only sleeps for 30 minutes and then I feel like our whole day is messed up. :(

Offline ShannanB

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Re: My nine month old is waking up every hour...Please help
« Reply #22 on: November 13, 2014, 17:58:52 pm »
I forgot to respond to what you said about EW, thats exactly what I have been doing! She has been waking up at 4 and then I hold her in my bed (not laying down because that wakes her up)for asleep long as I can (so at least one of us is getting sleep)...I have done it for 4 mornings now with no later wakings unfortunately.

Offline deb

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Re: My nine month old is waking up every hour...Please help
« Reply #23 on: November 13, 2014, 19:58:02 pm »
Can you try putting her down a bit earlier? If the short naps indicate OT, she might be running on adrenaline....

I hesitate to suggest this, but can the two of you nap together for the first nap of the day? She might sleep longer and give you a chance to catch up too?

Offline ShannanB

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Re: My nine month old is waking up every hour...Please help
« Reply #24 on: November 14, 2014, 01:28:33 am »
Unfortunately, sleeping together doesn't work very well for us. She used to do it just fine, now she thinks its play time! I sure wish she would though!

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Re: My nine month old is waking up every hour...Please help
« Reply #25 on: November 14, 2014, 09:32:46 am »
My only other thought right now is that she might be going thru a developmental leap, a new skill about to emerge. Josie's sleep especially went wonky before that happened for a few days....

If you've tried pain meds, have you tried them at the first night waking to see if it makes a difference?

Offline ShannanB

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Re: My nine month old is waking up every hour...Please help
« Reply #26 on: November 17, 2014, 20:01:40 pm »
I hope that is the case. We are still waking up 2-3 times a night and then up at 4 or 5! But if sit in bed holding her, she will fall in and out of sleep for another hour.

Do you think its more important to establish a set bedtime or put her to sleep at that 3 hour make after her list nap?

Also, she has started to arch her back and cry hysterically anytime I cradle her "like a baby", my assumption is because she thinks it means bedtime (which it usually does). This is even the case when I go to nurse her. At bedtime, she does this over and over and over and will not nurse even though she is hungry. She eventually gives in and nurses and falls asleep. Do you have any recommendations to discourage this behavior? I have considered laying her in her bed every time she does it and walking away similar to the pu/pd method(and have actually tried this) but worry about a negation connotation being made with her bed. My thought is I want to show her that its either her bed or my arms....my arms aren't so bad!!

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Re: My nine month old is waking up every hour...Please help
« Reply #27 on: November 17, 2014, 21:04:38 pm »
Hmmm, for the bedtime behavior, can you go to her room and wind down with some quiet play or a book perhaps? With Josie when her reflux was bad, I had to switch up the routine because to her, bedtime meant pain, so I had to do something else so she wouldn't know it was coming and get all wound up about it. So add in maybe 15-20 minutes (or whatever you're comfortable with) BEFORE the usual bedtime to allow for some extra wind-down in dim light; she may surprise you by getting sleepy on her own. :) (Hope springs eternal, anyway!)

Some kids do better with set naptimes/bedtimes - my first generally did - while others (like my second) I had to watch her cues like a hawk and put her down at whatever point she needed putting down; I got better at anticipating those times (and it was very handy when they coincided with school run times because at least she'd stay asleep in her carrier when I got her home!) as time went on, but it took a while, especially since the cues changed and evolved as she got older. You could try it and see if there's any improvement, I guess; in our case, I took the "fake it till you make it" approach. :D

Offline ShannanB

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Re: My nine month old is waking up every hour...Please help
« Reply #28 on: November 20, 2014, 20:03:40 pm »
UGH...I am feeling so defeated....since we started talking we have made a little progress in that she now wakes up every 3 hours instead of every hour. And then beginning at 3:00am she wakes up every 15 min to 30 min until 5ish. I have gotten to the point where I just sit in bed holding her so at least one of us can get some sleep.

She is then exhausted and is ready for a nap around 6:30 or 7, which tells me that she really wasn't ready for bed.

I don't know what to do differently!


Offline ShannanB

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Re: My nine month old is waking up every hour...Please help
« Reply #29 on: November 20, 2014, 22:28:54 pm »
One other thought- she is napping for a total of 4 hours a day and sleeping for 10 hours at night. Should she be sleeping less during the day?

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Re: My nine month old is waking up every hour...Please help
« Reply #30 on: November 21, 2014, 03:17:07 am »
Can't hurt to tweak it.

When she wakes in the night are you doing anything to see if it's pain? Wondering about the more frequent wakings before dawn....it would at least help you rule in/rule out pain as a factor.

Offline ShannanB

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Re: My nine month old is waking up every hour...Please help
« Reply #31 on: November 21, 2014, 03:35:54 am »
How do I rule out that its pain?

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Re: My nine month old is waking up every hour...Please help
« Reply #32 on: November 21, 2014, 12:30:18 pm »
If you give pain meds at those wakings and she stops waking after, odds are that it's pain of some kind. It doesn't pinpoint whether it's teeth or a latent ear infection, but it's a pointer at least.

Every 3 hours is an improvement, but yeah, definitely not enough for adults to manage the next day, and if she's not getting back to deep sleep after that 3AM waking, she's waking up already OT.....