My nine month old is waking up every hour...Please help

[deb]

I went back and forth on pain meds and in the end I decided that sleep - for BOTH of us! - was more important till the cycle was broken. When J's canines were coming thru, she was in AGONY Every. Single. Night. from about 17-19 months - so we medicated at bedtime and again about 2AM when she woke sobbing.....

Might be worth trying something stronger to get you through the hump; if she's in pain when she wakes, she's going to need comforting at the very least to get her back to sleep, so that's likely the short bit of suckling. Just withholding the breast isn't likely to work if it's you going in; I sent DH in for a few nights so DD didn't smell the milk, so she was more amenable to taking just a binky from him, and when she wasn't hurting any more she'd sleep thru and it became a non-issue.

You kind of have to decide where the line is, I guess, where it's worth trying something stronger for the pain or just nursing to sleep and trying to sleep train once this passes. In our case, once the teething was done, then she got a cold, so it was always something else we had to wait to pass.

[ShannanB]

Urg....it is always something, you are right! I think we may be nearing the point of giving in and giving pain meds.

One more question....She sleeps in our room....our room is quite large and is on the opposite end of her room. My mom is convinced that I need to put her in her own room, but her room is downstairs and just the thought of going up and down the stairs countless times in the night makes me want to cry. It scares me to think that it could put us even further backward, but MAYBE just maybe it would help....what are your thoughts on this?

OK, thank you again, so so much for your guidance!

[deb]

Hmmm.....Maybe for now try having her nap in there to get her familiar with it, and get the sleep sorted better before taking that step. One thing at a time. LOL

Good luck whatever you decide! 

[ShannanB]

So I think her teething pain is done (at least for now)and she is going to bed between 6:30 & 7:30 depending on when her last nap was. She is then waking up at 12:30 and then more often after that and waking up for good between 4:30 and 5:00!! I do nurse her in that time because I have found that If I don't, she goes back to sleep with no problems but wakes up in 15-30 minutes thereafter which makes me think she truly is hungry. She is not wanting to nurse during the day beside from right before naps and even then its iffy. So I am pumping but it seems as though my milk supply is suffering With that being said, I am ok nursing her during the night to ensure that she is getting enough calories and milk.

My main question right now is how to do I get her to sleep in a little more??

Thank you!!

[ShannanB]

She nursed numerous times last night and her diaper was not nearly as wet as it usually is in the am...What do I do to ensure that my milk doesn't go away??

Also, do you think its more important to vary bedtime and put her down at the 3 hour mark or have a set time that she goes to bed every night. She has been Horrible at napping this past week or so, waking up after 30 minutes! Its never easy

[deb]

Missed your post yesterday, sorry!

Somewhere about this time with J, who'd been waking at 6AM on the dot for a few months, I'd go in and just hold her back to sleep, thus ensuring (or hoping!) that I too could get another 45 minutes' snooze. After a few days of this, she actually began sleeping in on her own. No idea if that might be worth trying to break the cycle. I don't remember - does she use a pacifier/dummy? We were able to use that instead of the boob to get J back to sleep at night.

Will she nurse if she's truly hungry? There's a growth spurt/developmental leap (warning: you're approaching a prime Separation Anxiety timeframe now) about 9 months, so her EASY may need further tweaking. Short naps sometimes indicate OT and sometimes UT, so sometimes you have to play with the A time.

Does the (more-or-less usual) EASY look different now than the one you originally posted?

[ShannanB]

It looks different only because she is waking so dang early. So two hours after wakes up she is beyond exhausted but then only sleeps for 30 minutes and then I feel like our whole day is messed up.

[ShannanB]

I forgot to respond to what you said about EW, thats exactly what I have been doing! She has been waking up at 4 and then I hold her in my bed (not laying down because that wakes her up)for asleep long as I can (so at least one of us is getting sleep)...I have done it for 4 mornings now with no later wakings unfortunately.

[deb]

Can you try putting her down a bit earlier? If the short naps indicate OT, she might be running on adrenaline....

I hesitate to suggest this, but can the two of you nap together for the first nap of the day? She might sleep longer and give you a chance to catch up too?

[ShannanB]

Unfortunately, sleeping together doesn't work very well for us. She used to do it just fine, now she thinks its play time! I sure wish she would though!

[deb]

My only other thought right now is that she might be going thru a developmental leap, a new skill about to emerge. Josie's sleep especially went wonky before that happened for a few days....

If you've tried pain meds, have you tried them at the first night waking to see if it makes a difference?

[ShannanB]

I hope that is the case. We are still waking up 2-3 times a night and then up at 4 or 5! But if sit in bed holding her, she will fall in and out of sleep for another hour.

Do you think its more important to establish a set bedtime or put her to sleep at that 3 hour make after her list nap?

Also, she has started to arch her back and cry hysterically anytime I cradle her "like a baby", my assumption is because she thinks it means bedtime (which it usually does). This is even the case when I go to nurse her. At bedtime, she does this over and over and over and will not nurse even though she is hungry. She eventually gives in and nurses and falls asleep. Do you have any recommendations to discourage this behavior? I have considered laying her in her bed every time she does it and walking away similar to the pu/pd method(and have actually tried this) but worry about a negation connotation being made with her bed. My thought is I want to show her that its either her bed or my arms....my arms aren't so bad!!

[deb]

Hmmm, for the bedtime behavior, can you go to her room and wind down with some quiet play or a book perhaps? With Josie when her reflux was bad, I had to switch up the routine because to her, bedtime meant pain, so I had to do something else so she wouldn't know it was coming and get all wound up about it. So add in maybe 15-20 minutes (or whatever you're comfortable with) BEFORE the usual bedtime to allow for some extra wind-down in dim light; she may surprise you by getting sleepy on her own. (Hope springs eternal, anyway!)

Some kids do better with set naptimes/bedtimes - my first generally did - while others (like my second) I had to watch her cues like a hawk and put her down at whatever point she needed putting down; I got better at anticipating those times (and it was very handy when they coincided with school run times because at least she'd stay asleep in her carrier when I got her home!) as time went on, but it took a while, especially since the cues changed and evolved as she got older. You could try it and see if there's any improvement, I guess; in our case, I took the "fake it till you make it" approach.

[ShannanB]

UGH...I am feeling so defeated....since we started talking we have made a little progress in that she now wakes up every 3 hours instead of every hour. And then beginning at 3:00am she wakes up every 15 min to 30 min until 5ish. I have gotten to the point where I just sit in bed holding her so at least one of us can get some sleep.

She is then exhausted and is ready for a nap around 6:30 or 7, which tells me that she really wasn't ready for bed.

I don't know what to do differently!

[ShannanB]

One other thought- she is napping for a total of 4 hours a day and sleeping for 10 hours at night. Should she be sleeping less during the day?