How do i start?

[reubenwilfred]

Hi all,
I'm new here and am looking for some advice really. My first born was and still is a terrible sleeper, and I'm frankly not prepared to go through all of that again with Wilfred.

Wilfred is much more chilled out than Reuben ever was and I have already mastered the Eat then activity part of EASY which is more than i ever managed with Reuben.

Wilfred is 9 weeks old and will only sleep if i'm next to him or if he's in the sling. I can put him down for naps but he has to be pretty out of it not to get disturbed. He'll only manage one sleep cycle though by himself. He will sleep forever in the sling and will go off as soon as i notice his tired signs. If i try to get him to sleep without the sling it can take rather a long time of shushing and rocking and walking around the house.

The next stage is getting him to sleep by himself. I am scared to start this process. It seems really major. I mean he naps so much in the day. How do i tackle each nap and bedtime? It just seems by the time i've managed to get him off to sleep he'll be hungry for his next feed.

Also there are 3 days a week where i'm alone with Reuben and wilfred with no help. Reuben is only just 2 and is a highly spirited mentalist who requires constant attention or else he'll set fire to the house or something. There is no way i'd have the time to do shush pat on wilfred for daytime naps when Reubs is around. I'm gonna have to sling Wilfred then or else he'll be up all day.

Anyway, sorry for my rather long post. Just any help with getting started would be great as I'm feeling quite unconfident due to Reuben being such a nightmare child. I want to get this right for Wilfred and make my life a bit easier in the long run. Just to add Wilfred is breastfed and currently co-sleeps with me, (i'd love to get him in a cot...that would be a novelty) and my husband is farely helpless at night as he sleeps in with Reuben who wakes up about 5 times a night,

Thanks all,

Kate

[jessmum46]

Hi, I've posted on your thread on TS about Reuben's sleep too . As I said there I think you may be best to try to improve the situation with Reuben first before tackling things with Wilfred, but it's of course up to you

This is a good starting point: Starting EASY - all you need to know and more! particularly the sections on teaching sleep to newborns/young babies.  Also the 'how to survive with a newborn' section . This link may also be helpful: Introducing EASY to a 2nd child

The approach I took with DS (I have a 2yo DD too) was to aim for one nap a day in the cot initially, plus bedtime.  I just kept giving him the chance to settle, I didn't really do a lot of shh pat.  Just put him down when he was tired (avoiding OT is a big part of this so keep an eye on A times, only 1h-1h15 total at this age) and left him to it unless he was upset.  If he cried I did 10-15 min max of trying to calm him, sit with him, shh pat (we did head rub instead but whatever works) and then I'd give up and put him in the sling.  Around 9-10 weeks it got a bit easier to put him down and we'd try for more naps in bed.  Would Reuben sit and watch a DVD perhaps while you attempt a nap for Wilfred?   Or if you can't do every day for now, just trying on the days where you have help?

If you break it down to just trying for those two times in the day to begin with, it does become more manageable.  And with a bit of consistency you should see results fairly quickly at this age. 

What do you think?