A question about night feeds

[Bears mum]

My LO is 17 weeks. He was diagnosed with silent reflux early on and comfort fed through the night which I had no choice but to go with. As they feed little and often, I was happy when he did 2-3 feeds per night and was pretty settled between. BUT then three weeks ago he got bronchiolitis and didn't feed well for 3-4 days, he obviously then picked up his night feeding and I again just went with it, three hourly during the night (and day). Now, though, he is better, his reflux is well controlled on meds and he happily goes 4 hours in the day without feeding.
BUT of course, he still wakes 3 hrly at night like clockwork. He then is not interested in morning feeds and I know he's not really hungry in the early hours anymore.
As his napping has been terrible too, I have restarted shush pat since he got better and settling is much quicker now with the odd extendable nap.
The last two nights I have tried not to feed, night before last he randomly woke at 9pm so I patted him easily back and he went to midnight when I fed, I then patted at 3 and fed  at 5, figuring he can go 5 hours between feeds. He slept til 7.30.
Last night, though, he woke at 10.49 and it took ages to get him back to sleep, he finally went and did not wake until 01.45, so not desperately hungry. I fed then and it all went downhill from there. He was sick at 02.30, woke again at 03.30 and 04.30 so I fed again. Then he woke at 06.20,
I know not to expect instant results but I have no confidence in what I am doing. I'm not sure how much he actually needs! If I feed sometimes and pat others is that just confusing to him? Or should I stick with if he's managed a strath once he can do it again?
HELP!
We have no fixed routine in day as morning wake is always different and he has not wanted feeding in morning for a while. Trying to do 3.5-4 hour easy with 1hr 50 - 2 hr A.

[katie80]

It sounds like you're doing just fine. You're right that you can't expect instant results, but it's definitely frustrating to have a good night of resettling and then a not so good one. It sounds like the second one may have been more of a tummy/sick issue than a feeding/resettling issue.

Typically, when you're trying to extend feeds at night, we would suggest to feed a LO no sooner than you would during the day. So, if he easily goes 4hr between daytime feeds, then don't feed under 4hr at night (resettling all other wakings and not stopping to feed even if you go over 4hr). If you feel he can go 5hrs, then you can push to 5hrs. Is he BF or FF?

[Bears mum]

Thanks for replying. He is BF. His wake up times are really variable which makes me think it's not hunger. What I can't get my head round is that to him, sometimes I feed and sometimes I don't - isn't that a little confusing for him? Not a consistent message? Or doesn't it matter at night? I will try feeding at minimum of 4 hours ( if my addled brain can remember the times!)
I did this with my daughter who continued to wake 1-2hrly until 6 months when she had food and formula as I went back to work, and I always wondered if she was hungry!

[katie80]

His wake up times are really variable which makes me think it's not hunger. 

Well, some of Tracy's BF advice is outdated, but she thought that if wake times were erratic that it was an indicator of hunger, rather than a predictable wake-up which is more likely sleep cycle/prop related. You know you're child best, though!

What I can't get my head round is that to him, sometimes I feed and sometimes I don't - isn't that a little confusing for him? Not a consistent message? Or doesn't it matter at night?

I don't think so.  All you're doing is helping his little body learn to take more calories in during the day than at night. It is a consistent message in that it's not time to eat unless 4hr have passed. You can't expect him to go all night and you don't need to feed every 3hrs, so this is as consistent as it gets for his age.

If you're worried he may be hungry, I'd try to offer some top up feeds during the day or a cluster feed in the evening.