4S doesn't work

[duoduo]

my boy is 6-week-old, having hard time go to sleep @ daytime, tried 4S, doesn't work:
1. he hates swaddling, ok, redo it again and again
2. he cries, shush & pat don't help,sometimes he cries so hard that arches his back and head, makes it harder to hold him, and eating doesn't work either, neither nipple, nor does bottle. and if it's the time to eat, he still doesn't want to eat, just cries
3. overtired? try to watch the A time, have it under control which means no more than 1.5hours, still hard to calm him down
struggle for a while, he stops crying and awake, put him down, after couple minutes or even one hour (during this, see his yawn), the cycle repeats again.

what am I missing? what can I do?
thx.

[jessmum46]

Hi there

First thought - 1.5h is a lot for a six week old, I would keep A time to max 1h-1h15 and see if that helps.  After a short nap it may need to be even shorter. 

Swaddling is not compulsory.  If you and he don't like it, don't do it - but also be aware that a stressed overtired baby will always fight whatever you are trying to do and so it can appear they hate being swaddled when in fact they need the containment to be able to calm down.  You could try instead a sleeping bag if your LO is big enough, or a blanket firmly tucked around LOs arms? 

I didn't find shh pat effective for DS at all before 8-9 weeks, and even then he preferred a gentle shh and head rub/hand on chest rather than a pat.  You can experiment with different things but if he's not settling easily I would just hold/rock/use a sling for that nap to prevent too much OT, then try again next time.  We aimed for one nap in the cot per day in the early weeks and when that got easier (around 9-10 weeks) started trying for more. 

If you want to persist with shh pat, why not do it in your arms for now until very drowsy/asleep and then put him down?  As he gets more used to it you might be able to put him down sooner?

[Rongrong]

I thought swaddling helps with calming him down? That's why I tried so hard on it.
baby's cry can be so so annoying, the first thing   i would like to do is stop his cry

[duoduo]

i think  I am lost in A time. tried to help him @ around 1 hour, didn't work, and time passed so fast, it becAME over 1.5 hours, and still couldn't get him to sleep, the tired he was the harder he cried, eventually he fell into sleep, it could be 2~3 hours A time!!


how do I control A time? thx.
 

[duoduo]

sorry, what does one nap in the cot mean? is cot an abbreviation? I am new to this forum, not familiar with terms u normally use, can u pls help? thx.

[duoduo]

I didn't find shh pat effective for DS at all before 8-9 weeks??? I thought in Tracy's book, she says that's the most effective way for baby under 3 months? actually I do shush & pat while holding my baby in my arm, I can't put him down before stop his crying, but in my arm? still crying hard.

if I was able to put him to sleep on bed, he might not sleep more than 30 or 45mins due to OT, then I have to calm him down again. starting another cycle. mine. tired.

[duoduo]

one more question, how many naps does my boy need per day for his age? is there a guideline on this?
everyday his naps are different, one day he could sleep all day long, another day, he could be awake (I mean crying, doesn't sleep),  for more than couple hours.

[jessmum46]

Ok, hugs your baby is only six weeks old, this is what newborns are like!

I know the book makes it all sound very easy but in reality most of us find that our babies need a lot of help to get to sleep in the first few weeks.  My DS had pretty much all naps in the sling at that age.  Can you just hold/cuddle him to sleep sometimes or take him for a walk in the pram?  Shh pat may work for some early on but it didn't for us - you are more than welcome to try it, was just sharing my experience.  In your arms is fine to begin with if you want to persist with shh pat.

Cot is another name for a crib/bassinet - a bed with rails/bars on the side.

At this age every day certainly WILL be different and that is normal.  Some days he may take long naps and only need four, other days they may all be very short and he may need six or seven.  You would expect that he may settle into four naps by around three months and the naps by 4-5 months but this will depend on how quickly he learns to take longer naps.

[duoduo]

Great idea! Thank u for reminding, today I was able to let my boy had his afternoon nap in rock chair, that means I don’t have to hold him all the time, but one thing I am not too sure, he normally sleep better in the afternoon than morning, so we will see in the next couple days.

I don’t really know which method is the best, whichever works for my baby should be the best one, so I am here to look for help, and thanks a lot for your ideas and detail explanation.

Thx.