Author Topic: 1-0 no idea need help  (Read 36416 times)

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Offline Straffles

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1-0 no idea need help
« on: November 13, 2014, 03:09:41 am »
Hi all,

Benji is 2years 9months and after a week on 1hr long naps and 11+ hour nights, he suddenly started sleeping only 10hour nights and struggling to settle at bt.

After a post-9pm bedtime, I did a NND. Wu was 7.30am, bt 6am and wu the next day 6.30am. So a 12.5 hr night.

The next day I let him nap uncapped. He slept 1hr20mins, bt was 7.45 but wu 5am.

I now don't know what to do, am out of my depth and starting to panic. Ot here means multiple nws and ew.

The only thing I think I can do right now is cut nap back to 45 mins and keep bt the same. I fear this won't help abd that he's already ot with 3x 10hr and 1x9 hr nights out of five.

I can't do another NND from a 5am wu. Clearly 10.5-11hr days are advised at the beginning of this process so I can't see how you can continue with NNDs if nap days make night so short and bt so early.

How do you transition to no nap without bt getting too early or day being too long?

What should I do?

Please help.

Offline Straffles

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Re: 1-0 no idea need help
« Reply #1 on: November 13, 2014, 09:51:51 am »
It's really going to pot here - I really need some support.

After cutting nap to 45 mins, Benji still won't go to sleep at bedtime. He's wide awake.

He wet himself so went into a new sleeping bag. He's so excited by its unfamiliarity that he's just exploring it and will not sleep.

I thought cutting the nap back wd help him sleep.

I don't know what I will do tomorrow and how we can jump cold turkey to no nap from early wakings and such small sleep totals.

If anyone is there and able to help, pkease do as I am losing my mind.

Offline mycatmonet

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Re: 1-0 no idea need help
« Reply #2 on: November 13, 2014, 10:00:27 am »
Hi straffles, sorry no technical help but holding your hand. Would just trying to relax about it help at all? I wonder as benji gets older if he might deal with ot differently?
Could you give him an ebt tomorrow if there is no nap?


Offline Straffles

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Re: 1-0 no idea need help
« Reply #3 on: November 13, 2014, 10:14:17 am »
Thanks mycat x

Yes ebt with no nap but with ew at 5am you'd have to go to a 3.30/4 bt to maintain a reasonable day length :((

Offline mycatmonet

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Re: 1-0 no idea need help
« Reply #4 on: November 13, 2014, 10:53:20 am »
My dd was always doing shorter nights until she went to no nap. Could you give him a 30min cn at some point and push out to a later bt?


Offline Straffles

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Re: 1-0 no idea need help
« Reply #5 on: November 13, 2014, 11:01:42 am »
I don't know!

It's only been one day at 45 minute nap. Isn't that going to be too quick?

I never know what BT should be :(

Offline mycatmonet

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Re: 1-0 no idea need help
« Reply #6 on: November 13, 2014, 11:32:36 am »
A set 7pm bt was our thing for a long time and still now. Dd dropped her nap overnight, one day she refused and hasn't napped at home since. She will take an odd 5-15min cn in the car,  or 40min or so on longer trips. And sometimes nap with the other kids at daycare. .. but really she is doing fine like that.
So I guess the process doesn't have to go slowly?


Offline Straffles

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Re: 1-0 no idea need help
« Reply #7 on: November 14, 2014, 21:06:53 pm »
It's gone terribly wrong can anyone help?

Nnd yesterday. 7.15am-6pm bt but hr didn't settle til 6.30. Then wu 5am
10.5 hr night with no nap.

Clearly not what's supposed to happen so why and what do I do to get him to sleep more?

I'm getting really scared - I just think we are in monster ot territory already and he just can't sleep a good night with or without a nap.

Any help
Out there?

Offline mycatmonet

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Re: 1-0 no idea need help
« Reply #8 on: November 14, 2014, 21:45:01 pm »
Don't be scared straffles... How is he during the day - happy? Many nw? A nw within that hour of bt is meant to be ot I think, it is for us. If you think ot is creeping in can you do a nap day today? Super ebt to catch up?

Fwiw dd often sleeps a 10-10.5h night with no nap. My expectations of how much she 'should' sleep didn't match much with what she did. I could never MAKE her sleep, stressed about it heaps. In the end I just gave up I think!


Offline Straffles

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Re: 1-0 no idea need help
« Reply #9 on: November 14, 2014, 23:01:20 pm »
Hey mycatmonet

Thank you so much for your support.

I wish I could stop caring!

But it affects me because I get traumatised by bt, nws and ews both because it interferes with my already poor sleep but also because he's so agitated and upset. It's horrible.

He needs more than 10.5 hr sleep totals and he's averaged that this week. It's like he's so ot he just can't sleep any more. That's what happened in the 2-1 and it was intolerable. That took 6 months to get him sleeping again and I was mentored through it on a daily basis by a lady from this forum. She hasn't got the time to help me like that any more :(

Offline Straffles

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Re: 1-0 no idea need help
« Reply #10 on: November 15, 2014, 05:05:16 am »
Well he's ot big time and I'm letting him sleep for his nap. I don't know for how long.

We obviously moved to nnd too soon.

With a long nap today though, we are bound to have a late bt and/or ew.

So now I'm totally out of control of the whole thing.

Can anyone advise me please I am losing the plot and unable to sleep myself. Please?

Offline creations

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Re: 1-0 no idea need help
« Reply #11 on: November 15, 2014, 08:35:09 am »
Clearly 10.5-11hr days are advised at the beginning of this process so I can't see how you can continue with NNDs if nap days make night so short and bt so early.
This is a common idea but I find if you add up what the total sleep in 24hrs was (nap plis night) before the drop it can give a closer idea as to the amount of night sleep you can aim for after/during nap drop. For us it was 12hr sleep in 24 (2hr nap + 10hr night, nights reduced to a silly 9hr or less during the move to no nap).
For you then I would aim for 12 hr total sleep too, seeing as naps were 1hr plus night of 11hr+, if he needs more he can wake later in the morning.

How about do nap today, late BT (expect 10-11hr night), FX for a later WU and go from there tomorrow?

Do you feel he can cope with NNDs?  And do you feel he can do it once or twice per week or every day? (I ask because mine clearly  needed his nap, when I initially tried NND he was a danger to himself, literally falling down at 4pm, we did better with 2hr nap and short night for a while).
YK there are a number of option with the 1-0 so it really depends on what your LO can manage...but I would say you do need to expect him to sleep less in the short term, he's already started the transition so 1hr nap and 11hr night is likely not possible for him to maintain, his sleep may not extend until he starts to get into the new routine.
« Last Edit: November 15, 2014, 08:39:51 am by creations »


Offline Buttonbobs

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Re: 1-0 no idea need help
« Reply #12 on: November 15, 2014, 08:38:27 am »
I agree with creations on the many routes to the 1-0, I have always found this thread really reassuring:

The 1-0 transition...Advice and Tips to help you through.

Hugs honey xx
~ Naomi ~




Offline Straffles

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Re: 1-0 no idea need help
« Reply #13 on: November 15, 2014, 10:54:03 am »
Thank you Buttonbobs and Creations.

He fell asleep by 7.30 tonight after a 1hr 25min nap; he was Ot and raging and screaming from bath to bed. Very upset. He's ot.

So I know he needs a nap. I don't think he can tolerate the NND yet. The first was good, the second a catastrophe - 10.5hr sleep total.

I just need to work out what length nap he needs. He had a 1hr20 nap a few days ago and that caused a 9hr night.

I just don't know if he needs a 1hr nap or a 45min nap. I thought the 1hr nap was too much because he suddenly started doing 10hr nights only a week after I'd reduced the nap from 1hr 15mins to 1hr. For the first week, he slept 11hr nights but they were often quite broken - up to four long NWs.

He is very sensitive to any changes in his sleep routine and 15mins here or there can cause major upset like that.

If he's massively OT at the moment, at this age, should he be able to tolerate that or could this get even worse?

If we get a short night tonight, the only thing I'm sure of is that he needs a nap. The 10.5hr sleep totals are wrecking his sleep and starting to affect his mood. He goes down for nap very upset and angry too.

How will I be able to work out what length nap he needs tomorrow?

TIA X

Offline Straffles

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Re: 1-0 no idea need help
« Reply #14 on: November 15, 2014, 11:00:08 am »
Creations, I am re-reading your reply.

You say nights dropped to 9hrs during nap drop. I'm getting lots of those 9-10 hour nights.

But I don't see how I can continue to offer NNDs if he can only max a 10.5 hour night with NND?!

If we continue with 9hr nights, though, we are looking at 4.30 WUs so there's no way to offer a NND.

How do you make the leap if you're getting 9hr nights with a nap and 10.5 hr nights with an NND? I can't see how.