1-0 no idea need help

[Straffles]

Oh also, can we keep daily activities at a normal level on NNDs?

We always go out for around 3 hrs every morning to playground, swimming etc,?

[Straffles]

I don't know how I'm going to get through this transition.

I'm so sleep deprived after almost three years that I can't see clearly and don't have the wherewithal during the days to do much more than follow the clock during the day and to lie awake at night hoping for sleep I don't get.

Can anyone answer my questions about this proposed routine? Benji is not settling at bt just playing with his penguin so I will be up 'late' as I dare not do anything until he's asleep apart from sipping red wine..

[Buttonbobs]

Hi honey, I'm sorry that we haven't got to you as quickly as you would have liked, it's Saturday morning here so not altogether an easy time to put a good, well thought-through response together.

I don't want to leave you hanging though so I shall do my best. First of all, hugs

I am sorry you are finding this so hard, the difficulty is that there aren't really answers to your questions. We will not be able to say yes he will sleep for 11.5 or 12 hours after a particular BT and he may not do anything immediately. If you feel the best thing for you as a family is to go for a mix of NNDs and occasional naps days to help Benji catch up there will need to be an element of going with the flow, as we won't be able to help answer what time to nap or sleep every day. So if you don't feel able to manage going with the flow then cold turkey to no naps at all will provide you with the consistency you look for and this consistency will be God for Benji in the longer term too.

During this time there are going to be some early WUs nd long long days, my suggested plan would be:

1 set BT at a time you can feasibly manage every day, and stick with it no matter what;
2 use a gro clock or lights on a time and set that for the same time every day, if Benji wakes before the sun comes up, it is to be treated as a NW and so he stays in his room and you reassure him if he needs it;
3 if he is super super tired he may need a little catch up nap at some point but this will need to be something you go with the flow a bit on, a little cat nap type thing when he's clearly not going to make BT if you see what I mean.

As for activities, you can do your usual activities but he may need some quiet days to cope during the transition, you'll have to try it and see how he manages really.

I'm sure others will be along later with more detail if you need, but for now honey if you feel that going with the flow is too much, and you feel that naps arenMt working then this does seem like the best way.

[Straffles]

Thanks buttonbobs I'm not sure what you mean by going with the flow on an alternating day plan?! Silly me I know.

I just thought the alternating day plan was really fixed so that wd help me!

I have never known and still can't tell when Benji is tired. No way I can tell. We just stick to the click. Ot shoes itself only right before or when you put him to bed...

Thinking if the alternating day plan and sticking exactly to set bts...

[creations]

So creations how do I know when to set bt if day shdnt be longer that 11hrs??

I think others have answered this now. My point is that you wouldn't necessarily look for am 11hr day as this expects a 13hr night.  This can only be managed on an alternate nap/no nap routine which pushes BT and WU later every other day. Going straight to no naps and expecting a 13hr night sleep when he only sleeps (roughly) 11 ish hrs in 24 isn't realistic.  An 11hr day which you mentioned, followed by an 11hr night, which he may give you, only totals 22hrs so repeating this as a set routine you get earlier and earlier WU by not accounting for a day being 24hrs long. Sorry it's confusing. Many people use the 10.5 or 11hr day method when nap dropping but it doesn't suit all LOs. IMO it's more effective to add nap and night sleep together to see how much sleep LO is getting in 24hrs and use that as a guide as to how long the day/night could be.

We're all here whatever you choose to do. Hugs and hand holding are here for you xx

[Buttonbobs]

Yes absolutely agree with creations that we are here for you whatever you decide to do.

[Straffles]

Thanks creations, that's the clearest explanation I've heard! Or at least for some reason today I was able to understand it for the first time!

Did a NND today:

WU 7.05
BT (pd 6) asleep 6.30

He slept a mammoth 11.5 hours last night from a nap day so I went for it. I'm worried about the 6.30 bt which makes day 11.5hrs but obviously that works with your explanation creations. Only worried because a few weeks ago I did almost exactly the same NND with same WU and bt and previous night length and he woke at 5am the next morning.

Feeling positive now cos it's only 7.20 and I'm in bed. Win.

XxX

[creations]

Glad to hear you're making the most of your own sleep time xx

[Straffles]

Nws 9.55 then several from 3.50am

WhT now?

[jessmum46]

What time was WU hun?  I think you had decided alternate nap and NNDs?  Stick with that if so x

[Straffles]

Hey jessmum.

No not strictly alternating but if wu after 6.30 then nnd. Didn't want to go to nnd off a night with so many nws.

But he's up now at 6.10 so I will offer nap.

Do you think 6pm was too early a bt hence didn't settle til 6.30 woke loads and only 11.5hr ons?

Or was it too late given early nw at 9.55pm?

Shall I jump to 7.30 pd at bt tonight in one go?

[becj86]

11.5hr is the sleep total he's been doing with the nap anyway, remember. It's good. 11.5hr day and 11.5hr night mean you're up to 23hr of 24 so you're close to not needing those nap days to push WU later.

Just the one early(ish) NW is good too, not so OT that he's waking really early on or frequently in the early part of the night. Restlessness in the early AM could just be dreaming/development given he is less than a month from his 3rd birthday ( ).

BT tonight is related to today's routine with nap. It's not anything to do with keeping same BT every night with this transition plan.

[Straffles]

Thanks Bec that's really helpful.

Don't understand last comment about bt tonight though. We can go straight to my arbitrary 7.30 even tho he's only done 7pm for a few days yes?

[creations]

11.5hr is the sleep total he's been doing with the nap anyway, remember. It's good. 11.5hr day and 11.5hr night mean you're up to 23hr of 24 so you're close to not needing those nap days to push WU later.

Just the one early(ish) NW is good too,

Yes, sounds like a good night for him. It may not feel that way for you unfortunately because you're night is so disturbed.

If you did/are doing a nap today I would go with the 7.30 pd for BT.  He's had 45min sleep so let's take a guess at expecting a 10hr 45 night.  If he falls to sleep at 7.30 we might guess he wakes around 6.15am.  If he falls to sleep at 8pm we might guess he wakes around 6.45am. He will have had 11.5hrs sleep in 24.  You could then do your NND with the 6pm BT.

hugs for today x

[Straffles]

Did 7.30bt he was wild! But asleep by 7.45 and had an awful night waking at 1.15 and not resettling til 3. Then again 5.35 but resettled til 6.15. Too scared to go to nnd but think he can't do good night on Nd so not sure how long to stay with this plan to find out?!?!