Is there anything I can do to improve his mood?

[jessmum46]

I used to count from the time DD went quiet as the start of sleep time, and work from there. 

If he is used to 1.5h nap I would cap at 1h15 to begin with, give it a few days and if still not settling for around a 13h day then cut to 1h.

[Buttonbobs]

^^ we always counted from start of quiet too.

[Truly Blessed]

Same here, once quiet, you know LO is resting at the very least.x.

[labrodyk]

Massive thank you again everyone.

Ok, that happens usually straight away here - apart from the toilet trips.

EAS today was
WU: 6.25
nap: 2.00 - 3.35
BT: 8.00
Asleep: by 8.30

Both nap and BT was relatively fuss free. One toilet trip for nap and absolutely no issues at bedtime not even asking for second wee (first time in a month) so not sure if I should cap the nap? Thanks for the suggestion to say I'll come back and check on him, saying that and keeping his door ajar seems to be helping slightly.  Confirming that I'm capping to get a longer night? If I shorten the nap 15mins do I do the same with bedtime or keep to a shorter day? It's currently 13.5-14hrs. Guess I'm worried that he won't move his daytime sleep to nights so if he's down to bed earlier, will he wake earlier than he does now?

[jessmum46]

If he's happy, well-rested, good mood etc on a 10h night and 1.5h nap then no, you don't have to cap.  DD would have been a mess though on that routine so I would have capped to get a better night.

[Truly Blessed]

It's really your call Hun. For many of us it's the long days that just don't work, because it really cuts into your down time, and if in a relationship 'couple time'.  I found the long days and late nights hard to take, because I'm done by 8 PM latest!!! This means that it's not good for DS because my patience is low, so it's a matter of balancing as a family, if that makes sense  Admittedly I'm just not at my best come BT  It's a challenge for me these days unfortunately  .

My gut tells me that even if things go smoothly now it won't be long before his nights become later and his days even longer, it's just the way things tend to progress from own experience and other BW's.  So like Katherine says, if everyone's happy with the 'status quo' then you can carry on for now, otherwise I would just cap the nap 15 mins shorter at first, and play it by ear WRT BT, as you won't really know what's right without trial and error, but I would probably shoot for this in the first instance:

WU 6.30 (ish)

Nap 2 to 3.15

BT 7.45

Hoping he'll settle within the 15 mins giving a 13.5 hour day with a 1.15 nap.

x.

[Buttonbobs]

This is absolutely what happened to us, BT got so late eventually that I wS struggling with not having enough time for DH and me to rest and eat etc before sleep. Also DD hit a point where she wasn't happy with the shorter nights, but thankfully for us, this coincided with her coping with NNDs.

There are no hard and fast rules teally, if he seems to be coping with the longer nap and shorter night then I'd personally say keep going until it doesn't work, but once you reach that point then yes you will need to cap the nap if he doesn't start refusing them naturally.

[labrodyk]

Hi ladies, you're so amazing! Thanks for taking the time to share your advice with me.

We've had a rough few days and I'm not sure what I'm doing especially as our nights aren't lengthening (in fact they're shortening) and H is getting quite upset.

I think I'm already going to have to cap the nap. Today's EAS was;

WU: 6.25
OOB: 7.00
Nap: 2 until just before 4
BT: 8

The shennanigans aren't too bad but the Behaviour before and after nap is pretty grotty and DH and I are starting to collapse by the time he's actually asleep so missing some time alone. DH thinks I should pull the nap back and cap it at 1.45-3.15 with BT at 7.45. Do you think that would work? Giving him some time to fall asleep?

[labrodyk]

Hmmmm, things are going a bit topsy-turvy and his mood is taking a turn for the worst. He's just crashed out on the couch at 1.30 which he's never done before. Not sure what to do for bedtime tonight and naps moving forward?!

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Could he be coming down with something? DD3 crashes out like that when she is getting ill.

[labrodyk]

I wondered that but he seems fine other than constantly saying "harry still hungry" and eating me out of house and home - He hasn't stopped eating for 3 weeks!

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

I know from other posts on here that a lot of kids sleep more during growth spurts (mine don't) and his eatng habits and age definitely point to that.

[labrodyk]

Most definitely could be a growth spurt! I'll keep an eye on him.

Tonight he was in bed at 7.30 after (1.35/45 - 3) on the couch and he's chatted for 30mins, whinged for a min at 8 o'clock and seems genuinely UT yet it's the same # hrs until bed as usual just 30 mins earlier. I'm really struggling with the morning wakes and the naps which completely differ day to day - it's so confusing and unsettling for both H and I. I feel so out of my depth with this as nothing I seem to do helps him through this.

Should I be trying a different approach?

[Truly Blessed]

I feel so out of my depth with this as nothing I seem to do helps him through this.

I know that feeling Sweetie  trust me most of us do  but honestly, "Just take a breath and accept that for now you aren't going to be completely in control" There are so many things that go on when LO's are growing up, and sometimes you just have to take it day by day especially with things like 'growth spurts' . When you have got to a place in the past where everything is hunky dory, it can be hard to accept, but you can drive yourself in sane 'over thinking' during these tough periods. I say this because I have done it so many times, FAR TOO MANY! 

We're here for you, but give yourself a break and accept 'going with the flow' is the way it is for a few days. He WILL be okay. The main thing to do is to watch him as closely as you can, and go with your instincts as to what he needs. We can advise, but we can't watch him, and we will never know him the way you do  .

Lots of (HUGS)

x.

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

(((Hugs))) Vicki said it all...tbh I got to the point where naps and bedtime were set and sleep was up to them, some days worked well and some didn't.