1 year old still won't sleep

[Isaborghese]

My son will be 1 next week and he still wakes frequently throughout the night and take long periods to get him to go to sleep at BT. I started sleep training when he was almost 5 months and after 28 days he had made little improvement, he then got sick with the flu, bronchitis and severe cramps which turned out to be a cow protein allergy. Since removing the cows milk he was much calmer in general but sleep didn't improve much. Once he wasn't suffering any more cramps or pain I started making sure he went down awake. Our routine at BT has been the same since her was a few days old: bath, feed, quick massage and to bed. He hasn't been fed at night for 4 months and I give him water at NWs.  After 6 2 months of ALWAYS putting him down awake it takes anywhere from 45 min to 1.5 hr for him to fall asleep, it hasn't gotten any better. He is mostly calm and then starts crying, if I leave the room at all he screams. Some nights he just cries non stop.

We have tried all the natural remedies that can he'll babies sleepse well and nothing has worked. I don't know what else to do as he just doesn't improve at all.

Any suggestions are greatly appreciated. One year of no sleep with my husband away 70% of the time and dealing with sleeping training for months and months is just so exhausting and I don't know what else to try.

[katie80]

(((Hugs))), that sounds really difficult. As you obviously know, sleep training shouldn't take that long, so there must be some other issue at play.  Can you post what your daily routine looks like, i.e. when he wakes, when he naps, when he goes to bed? Does he have a history of reflux or any other intolerances? Is he currently teething? Does he go to sleep for naps on his own?

I'm going to move this thread over to the sleeping for toddlers board, since he will be 1yr so soon.

[Isaborghese]

For naps I hold him longer than I should, he's usually at the point of falling asleep when I put him down, sometimes he moves around and gets comfortable and falls asleep on his own. After a long time of trying at all sleep times I gave in a little with naps to be able to get through the day.

He did suffer a bit of reflux up until about 4 months. He isn't teething right now, hasn't been for a few months.

A normal day would be:

6-6:45 wake and bottle
7:30 - breakfast
9:45/10 - nap for 45-90 minutes
11:30/12 - lunch
2pm - bottle
2:30/3 - nap for 45 minutes. Sometimes he'll sleep longer
5:30 - dinner
6:50 - bath, bottle
7:30 - to bed - he usually falls asleep around 8:30/8:45 on a good night

[katie80]

Hmm... do you notice a difference in how long it takes him to go to sleep on the days when he naps 2x45min compared to when one or both of the naps is longer? He seems to be in the 2-1 nap transition. Have you read this link? From 2 to 1 nap transition (10-12m and older)

It looks like on the whole his day is getting a bit long, so I'm guessing he may be OT, but you could have a bit of a UT/OT loop going on as well. I wonder if you pushed the morning nap out a bit, so you could get a consistent, longer nap going and then a CN in the afternoon to make it to bedtime at least the routine would even out and BT might be a little more consistent. What if you tried something like this... (pushing gradually out to 10:30, so that he doesn't get OT in the process)?
Wake 6/6:45am
Nap 1 10:30am-12pm
Nap 2 4:00-4:20/4:30pm
Bedtime 7/7:30pm

What happens when you put him down at BT? Do you just sit next to the crib or near the door? Do you help him try to settle? Have you tried to make your way out of the room using gradual withdrawal? What happens at NWs and how many do you think he normally has?

Sorry for all the questions. Just want to try to get a picture of what's going on.

[Isaborghese]

Thanks for your response! I think he is getting near the 2-1 transition as sometimes in the afternoon it takes forever to get him to sleep. I don't think he's quite ready yet but it won't be long.

At bedtime i sit next to or near the crib of he is calm/ moving around and try not to interact unless he gets upsets if he whinges or cries I pat, shush, rub to try and calm him.

At NWs I change him if he has a full nappy, often he wakes due to this I think. I give some water (it's very hot at the moment where we live even at night) and then put him down and try and calm him in the crib. If it appears that he has pain or is uncomfortable I tend to hold him a while to calm him down.

Some nights he'll only wake once and others he will wake anywhere up to 5 times. Sometimes he will wake at say 2am and will drift in and out of sleep for up to 2 hours. He might sleep for 15 minutes and just when you get back into bed he starts crying again!

I'll try pushing his morning nap out to 10:30 but usually around 9:30/9:45 he gets cranky/cries at everything so I put him down so he doesn't get overtired.

Thanks!

[katie80]

At bedtime i sit next to or near the crib of he is calm/ moving around and try not to interact unless he gets upsets if he whinges or cries I pat, shush, rub to try and calm him.

I think I would try to stop intervening, even if he's whining or crying. Just use your voice if he gets upset, but let him do the work of getting to sleep himself. And, I'd start working your way out of the room, every couple nights getting closer to the door. Here's a link on gradual withdrawal (start reading half-way down): Walk In/Walk Out vs. The Gradual Withdrawal Method (HOW TO CHOOSE)

At NWs I change him if he has a full nappy, often he wakes due to this I think. I give some water (it's very hot at the moment where we live even at night) and then put him down and try and calm him in the crib. If it appears that he has pain or is uncomfortable I tend to hold him a while to calm him down.

You think he wakes because his nappy is full or he wakes because you change him? I'd try to stop changing him, because I think that will wake him up more than necessary. Can you get a bigger or overnight nappy to use that would hold more? Also, are you willing to leave a small sippy cup of water in the crib with him so he can get a drink on his own if he needs one? You can point it out to him several times and even lead him to it if necessary, but then let him do it on his own.

I'll try pushing his morning nap out to 10:30 but usually around 9:30/9:45 he gets cranky/cries at everything so I put him down so he doesn't get overtired.

I get that... if you do it gradually, it should be easier and hopefully once the naps are sorted he'll start sleeping better at night and then won't be so tired and cranky in the morning.

[Isaborghese]

I'll start not having contact and see how it goes. In regards to the wet diapers, I only change him if it is full or if he is already wet. He already uses the largest nappies that are available at night, if I don't change him he will soak through and then I have to change his pjs and sheets. Sometimes he falls straight asleep after being changed and other times he keeps crying.

Next week we are travelling with a 14 hour flight and 14 hour time difference! Once we are settled I'll let you know how it's going!
Thanks for all your help!

[katie80]

Wow, that's a big trip! Good luck and enjoy!!