Author Topic: Starting EASY at 20 weeks, a few questions!  (Read 1076 times)

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Offline Bears mum

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Starting EASY at 20 weeks, a few questions!
« on: November 21, 2014, 20:30:04 pm »
Hi, I am starting EASy in earnest now. Have always roughly followed the pattern but sleeping has deteriorated due to severe reflux followed by bronchiolitis at 3 months and we are now a mess. I am using the technique Tracy describes for starting at 4 months and we are on a four hour schedule. BF baby, just started slow weaning to help with reflux, pain free on meds. Still has horrible cough esp at night.
I am using sh/pat as pu/pd seems to overstimulate him.
Naps are now 1.5-2hrs from 30 mins but with intervention once or twice. I don't DF as he usually wakes around 10ish anyway, and then 1-2hrly all night. I am trying to break the feeding at night habit which followed from the weight loss after bronchiolitis and need for drink at night with his cough. I am a little confused..
1. How do I know when he is really hungry and when just to settle at night?
2. I am patting his bottom (tummy sleeper due to reflux) and it does jiggle him a little, could this be a prop?
3. He ALWAyS cries when I put him down and so I always have to intervene, will he learn to self-soothe?
4. If he sleeps for 1.5 hours do I bring the routine forward or make his next A time 2.5 hours to stay at a 4 hour routine?
5. If I stick to naps at 9 and 1 like she suggests, what do I do if he starts to look tired after 1hr 45 or 50? Might I miss "the window?"

Thanks for helping!

Offline newkidontheblock

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Re: Starting EASY at 20 weeks, a few questions!
« Reply #1 on: November 23, 2014, 05:23:58 am »
Hi there. Many people use variations of shush/pat and if bottom patting is working for you, go ahead! PU/PD is really a worst case scenario kind of move. When I can't comfort in the cot, I pick DD up and comfort her on my shoulder with shush/pat, then I slowly quieten down, lay her back down and keep a hand on her. I felt that I was just messing with her with PU/PD, putting her down just when she had calmed down and it just took way longer than it otherwise would have.

It is normal to have to intervene a few times as he is learning to sleep. This would probably be when he is transitioning sleep cycles. It is also normal for him to need 1 or 2 feeds overnight. The best way to judge hunger is to feed him and see how much he takes. Generally though, if you have fed quite recently, then you could rule out hunger. DD just got over the flu and she too started waking up in the night for feeds. I found it easier to just feed as she fell asleep so much faster & her sleep wasn't too disrupted. Also, with her I always find that when I follow her lead, things like NWs get resolved a lot faster. The few times that I tried to resettle without a feed, she was just up again a short while later asking.

As to crying when you put him down --- are you putting him down awake or drowsy? What do you do before putting him down? Do you have a wind down routine? Some babies also need a little cry as part of their settling to sleep routine. If he wakes at 1.5 hours, the next nap would be 2 hours after that. If you are aiming to have him down in 2 hours A - that is eyes open to eyes closed - then you should go to his room a bit before that - change diaper, swaddle, nap time routine etc - and put him down. It is good to give them 5 -10 minutes to settle. If you find your LO needs more time, go in a bit earlier. If he starts showing sleepy signs way before time, then stretch the A time with some low key activity like walking around.

Hope that helped. x






Offline Bears mum

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Re: Starting EASY at 20 weeks, a few questions!
« Reply #2 on: November 23, 2014, 19:33:11 pm »
Thanks for your reply. Since posting things have gone wobbly as he now no longer settles to my shush pat but gets more worked up. He is trying to suck thumb/fingers as he dies during the day but getting frustrated. I am back to trying with the dummy which sometimes works but he can pill it out! Last night spent 1 hr 45 awake trying to settle before feeding as it was then four hours since last! Never normally that bad.
I am trying to be consistent in what I do but as his response is so inconsistent it's hard. I don't like continuing the shush pat if he escalates his crying. I assume that his age is to blame for some of this, I know he is going through a lot. I guess that I am looking for some reassurance that I am doing the right thing and it will improve eventually. My little girl was a terrible sleeper until 6 months when things started to improve so I am hoping for similar. Just felt with her that nothing I did made any difference, she just got there on her own. Wondering if I am breaking my back for nothing and should just enjoy life and wait for him to get it!!

Offline newkidontheblock

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Re: Starting EASY at 20 weeks, a few questions!
« Reply #3 on: November 24, 2014, 05:48:42 am »
At 4 months, there is a LONG and difficult wonder week. Are you aware of the wonder weeks? These are mental leaps that play havoc with a baby's temperament. http://www.thewonderweeks.com/mental-leap-4/ You can read a little more about it. For us, it lasted a month and affected naps a lot. That was the month of the amazing 10 minute naps! It is as if they can get by with a lot less sleep at these times.

Shortly after I started using the BW techniques, DD also went through a phase of HATING shushing. She would scream her head off if I used it. So i stopped and just patted and spoke softly or hummed. We had a shush ban in this house :p You can change these things around - do what will soothe your child. The main thing that Tracy is trying to say is to simply be consistent in what you do, before starting something ask yourself whether you will be willing to continue with it and move towards independent sleep. Comfort your child as much as you want, try to put them down awake and help them go to sleep on their own with less & less of your input over time. I think it is important to nurture a healthy attitude towards sleep as this is something which will stay with them for years.

During month 4, we just pottered on, stuck to our routine as much as possible as I was so scared of starting bad habits. Looking back, I wish I had cuddled her a bit more and APed her for naps more as she would have gotten the rest she needs. I would say, do your routine & wind down, try to make him sleep using these methods but don't let him cry for too long. If it is not working, get him to sleep however you can and try again later. This is a tough month after all. Ugh, not the best advice, right?






Offline Bears mum

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Re: Starting EASY at 20 weeks, a few questions!
« Reply #4 on: November 27, 2014, 01:57:22 am »
Thank you. It's helpful to talk it through. Just found the beginnings of a tooth appearing today too... What a month! Sigh.
Seems like he will never do more than 2 hours and hates every soothing technique that I try DD at least took the dummy so settling was much quicker, though wake ups more frequent!! Really desperate to stop so many feeds but I think I will have to wait for cough to settle and tooth to really appear, at the very least!
Just a phase, just a phase, just a phase..... :'(

Offline newkidontheblock

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Re: Starting EASY at 20 weeks, a few questions!
« Reply #5 on: November 27, 2014, 03:20:04 am »
*hug* You will get through this :)