2 1/2 and sleep and bedtime is a nightmare!

[Moogleit]

My DD is 2 1/2 and for the past few weeks her sleep/bedtime situation seems to be increasingly bad. The main reason I'm poating is that she has discovered that she can open her door and leave her room if she wants. So she does. Repeatedly! At bedtime she leaves her room several times before she finally settles. Naptime was the same deal except now for the past 5 days she's refused to nap and will not stay stay in her room. She waking at night again plus she's waking earlier and earlier each morning. I know she's exhausted but I'm not sure how to either get her back to napping or help he sleep better at night so she can get back on track! This is a huge change for a girl who would go to bed in minutes like a dream and sleep 12 hours. Tonight after bedtime she came out of her room 4 times, then she woke at 11:40 crying and then came into our bedroom at 2am. I'm hoping she sleeps in a bit but am not holding my breathe.

A little background here, she turned 2 in June and we had started potty training a couple of weeks prior to that in preparation for her new sibling due in September. We also bought her a big girl bed for the same reason which we planned on introducing in August. Well our DS ended up being born 7 weeks early and spent 4 weeks in the NICU which kind of pushed that up. She transitioned to the bed beautifully, this is the first issue. I'm wondering if all the changes plus her new brother have just now sunk in and have thrown her for a loop? Or is this purely developmental? Any idea how I can keep her in her bed and get her back on track?!

Oh, we bought a gro clock this weekend to see if that helps but it's still new to her and hasn't made a difference yet.

[Haribo2012]

Hi, your LO anticts sounds very similar to what we are getting at the moment and my DS is 2.5 also. A lot for us has been developmental I think as language is amazing and also potty training, big boy bed etc they do have developmental leaps at half birthdays. Quite a few NW and ending up in our bed so we got a bit of sleep.

Whats your day look like? Ours was WU 6, nap 1-2.30, bt 7.15 but now ive capped the nap to 45 mins we are getting less BT faffing about, he wont go in bed for a nap now, so I just do a strategic walk or drive, or let him doze off on sofa for a while. Now ours is more like WU 6.15/6.30 nap 1.30/2pm for 45 mins BT 7.15/7.30 - seems to be working for now (famous last words lol)

For us BT remains consistant, when he gets out of bed I just say bedtime now back in bed you go and he does get it after a few times of rinse and repeat. We are now onto shouting from the bed for various excuses but again just remain consistant x

[Moogleit]

I had a feeling that's what you were going to say! Her language has exploded and so has her comprehension oh and her ability to say NO! Haha.

Before this little blip her day looked something like this...

730 wake
2 - 330 sleep
8-830 bedtime

We had talked about capping her nap again but we didn't get a chance because she's decided to cut it altogether! We still try each day to get her to nap but she's having none of it.

We'll be consistent when she leaves her room and hope this passes quickly!

Thank you!

[Haribo2012]

Ha ha we have NO a lot and loudly!!

If she's not napping are you shortening your day and bringing BT earlier....could be a little manic OT setting in!?x

[Moogleit]

We're trying to keep her day to around 12 hours but it's been a little hard a couple of the days. Yesterday she woke at 645 and was in bed by 7, she only came out of her room once and then woke briefly once through the night. She decided 530 was a good time to get up this morning so I'm really hoping she decides to nap today...fingers crossed.

[Haribo2012]

Must be something in the air...we had a 5.15 WU....torture lol!! Hope your day goes well x

[Moogleit]

So the saga continues for us over here. My DD is still not napping and still getting out of bed/waking up several (4-6) times in the night. She is so tired and I'm not sure how to get her to sleep more soundly. Her day is no longer than 11.5 hours but maybe that's too long? Yesterday she was up at 745am and was in bed by 7pm, but then she was up about 5 times between 7-11pm. She either wakes up crying and babbling incoherently or she gets up and comes out of her room and says she's awake.
This morning she woke up hysterical at 6am and refused to go back to sleep but has been yawning her head off ever since. I'm thinking in bed by 5 tonight....or maybe we should be trying to get a car nap in or something?

[Haribo2012]

Honestly we are just winging it a bit but we mostly have a 30 min nap in car or buggy with maybe 2 NND a week. I've tried EBT and he just stays awake but I'm trying to keep to 12 hour days.

If you think the NW are OT I'd try the early bedtime just to see, even if not asleep at least LO is resting...

it's the pits isn't it!!xx

[Moogleit]

It's the pits for sure! Yesterday she fell asleep on the couch for 30mins so we kept her up 30 mins later but she came out of her room like 6 times after lights out. The only thing that seems to keep her in her room is taking away toys...her markers are a big motivator for her. Not sure if that's the right approach but it's all we've got right now. I've done some looking online and the popular alternatives seems to be putting a lock on the door which I'm not down with at all.



 

[Haribo2012]

No I personally wouldn't go down the lock on the door route, I can't imagine myself getting locked in I'd totally panic.
If she comes out I would just say bedtime now back to bed and no more engaging in conversation?! Could she choose a toy to keep with her and then you say if she stays in bed she can keep it in her room with her?

[Buttonbobs]

Hi there, this time can be so tough with developmental change and also nap dropping.

I can understand why you wouldn't be keen on a lock on her door, I wouldn't go with this either. I do know others here have had success using a stair-gate on the LO's bedroom door. This way you are providing a physical barrier to prevent her coming out when you are enforcing sleep-time but she can see and hear you in case she needs reassurance, and you can hear her to make sure she is ok. Might be worth a try? We haven't done this personally, although we do have a gate at the top of our stairs (which are immediately opposite DDs bedroom). When we are struggling to get her into bed at night I do find it helps us to have the gate closed and us downstairs. She can, if she wishes, walk around between her room and the bathroom but not really any further, and this small bit of freedom does seem to help her feel relaxed and eventually she does settle and sleep in her bed.

I agree that it might be worth trying a CN (perhaps a car nap) to see if that helps her catch up a bit and then you get a better night. Unfortunately when Los drop the nap cold turkey you are going to experience OT, so any little catch up you can get in should help. Then perhaps try and keep the day no longer than 11.5 hours. I know some here say no more than 11 hours to start with when first dropping the nap.

Have you tried EBT at all? If you feel she is really OT on any particular day, perhaps try a much earlier BT - say 5/5.30? It sounds scary, but it can really help My DD never tacked on at all until this transition, but she managed it and I was amazed.

Have you tried starting the idea of quiet time during her old nap time? The stair gate could help this, she has to stay in her room and play with quiet toys in there, or just lie down or look at books, but there is a fixed period of time and you can in theory still get to have some down-time. It might help her feel a little rested too. This never worked for my DD, but it does work for many.

Do you feel like any of this could help?

[lauradj]

Another thing you could try, that Tracy recommends, is basically conditioning your child to stay in their room the whole night. You can give them a gold star (or something) for each night they stay in their room all night for the week.  If they get 5 or 6 (you decide on the number), then they get to do a fun, pre-chosen, activity on the weekend. 
She recommends when you put your child to bed, you let them know they can come out at 6/7am, whatever time you decide.  Then you set your alarm clock to go off half an hour earlier (I'd go with 15 mins personally), and wait for them outside their bedroom door.  That way you're there to catch them in the act of being successful.  She also suggests if you have a chronic in/out munchkin, you set them up with their water glass and some books ahead of time.  Then you can tell them that you will stay with them for 2 minutes but then you're leaving and they need to go to sleep.  The most important thing is stay for the full two minutes and then leave, so they know you're being fair and consistent. 
Just some alternatives to the baby gate and the door lock.

[Moogleit]

Thank you ladies for all the suggestions!

We seem to have gotten passed the in/out part of things lately but now we're struggling with pre 6am wake ups and major screaming/tantrums when I try to get her back into her own bed until the gro clock sun comes up. This morning it was 530. Her new thing is wanting to come lay in our bed which I would be fine with if she actually fell back to sleep but she just messing about. I was up literally every hour with our 6 month old last night so this morning when she came into our room I tried half heartedly to get her back into her room but a major tantrum started so I gave in but of course she didn't go back to sleep and then another tantrum insued when we got up to go downstairs and she thought I was taking her back to bed.

We'e set up the gro clock but it doesn't seem to have made any sort of impression on her at all, maybe the clock plus a reward would help? With the gro clock, would you suggest changing the wake up time based on what time she's goes to bed or keeping it the same time each morning?

Honestly I understand she's going to bed earlier so she will wake earlier but the fact that she wakes up basically in a tantrum tells me she's still tired. She will have a car nap if the starts align but she's in preschool 3 afternoons a week and we're usually home mid-afternoon so her brother can nap. I'd bring him along but he's not nap a car napper at all.

I feel like I'm losing a grip on what's going on here.....

[lauradj]

No no!  You're not losing your grip, it's just that you're in the midst of a rather ferocious developmental leap.  Honestly, I think the best thing to shoot for at this point is consistency.  If you tell her she is allowed out of her room at ______am, stick to it, tantrums be damned.  If your DP/DH could take over that battle in the morning, that would probably lessen the stress on you.  I often find that DS reacts differently to DH or I, depending on the situation, and the early mornings might be just such a situation.  What time are you hoping she'll stay in her room until?  If DP/DH gets up earlier than you, have him get DD started on breakfast etc. while you pull yourself together for baby or get an extra half hour of sleep. 

[Haribo2012]

Hugs hun I feel your pain were having similar issues....I honestly think it's developemental phase like Laura says. DS was up at 5am Sunday morning and came in our bed and just fidgeted for an hour.
We are struggling with the gro clock too, I've set our quite early 6am so that DS can see he's doing it, and staying in bed, but it's still a bit hit and miss...if it's not on but about to show the sun we sit in the room with him being quiet.
Just try and stay consistant as much as u can and I know it's hard as they are such strong willed monkey's.