8 months - good routine but nightmares nights. Please help!

[lalubaum]

My baby boy is 8 months old and a very active boy. We are having a big nightmare during the nights and would like to ask for help as I don't know what to do anymore. Here is his daily schedule:

6:30-7am: wake-up & drink the bottle (sometimes I wait until 8am to give the bottle. It depends when was the last night feeding)

8:30-9am: nap time (it always happens 2hrs after being awake). I let him to nap maximum until 10:30am. Most of the times I have to wake him up from the morning naps because he is always tired from the night.

11:45-12pm: lunch

12:30-1:30pm: afternoon nap (it happens 3hrs after being awake from the morning nap). I let him to nap maximum until 3:30pm. Most of the time he naps around 90min.

15:00-15:30: he eats a snack once he wakes up from the nap

17:00- dinner
 
18:30- bed time routine (bath, bottle & bed). I usually start bed time routine 3hrs after being awake from the afternoon nap.

Then my nightmare starts which I'm listing below:

1. He always fell asleep by himself without any problems for the naps and cried for the evening but all worked at the end. Since he learned how to stand up in the bed (even wearing a sleep bag) and as he doesn't know how to sit down yet, he stands up, cries loudly and we have to put him down. Now, we have to be in the room until he falls asleep otherwise he stands up and the cycle starts again.

2. During the night he stands up as soon as he wakes up and again doesn't sit down or calm himself down. We wait few minutes before go in the bedroom and the only way to calm him down is breastfeeding.

3. At the moment he is awake 2-3x during the night which means I'm breastfeeding him 2-3x which is very exhausting

4. We have every week 2 or 3 nights that he wakes up in the middle of the night crying loudly for 2-3hours. Sometimes not even breastfeeding calms him down.

My questions are: how can I make him to stop standing up in his bed? How to teach him to calm him down by himself?

All the time I tried to make his A time a bit longer between the naps or bed time he gets over tired and it makes things harder to put him down.

Please tell me what am  I doing wrong?
Thanks

[nevinsmama]

Hi there! Welcome to BW! Big hugs on the exhaustion, things will get better, but in order to get there, they ARE going to get worse first and there will be lots of crying ( not alone!) . That said, we are happy to help you come up with a plan and hold your hand as you teach your LO to sleep on his own.

OK, as far as your routine, I would not let him go more than 2 hour in the morning and 1.5 hour in the afternoon. I would move his A time up to 3 hours also, you may want to do that in 15 minute increments over 3-5 days to avoid OT though.Give this time to settle in, there is always some OT involved when you are teaching LOs new ways to go to sleep.

With regards to the standing up, how long has he been doing this? If this is recent, then it may be a new skill that he needs practice with. Can you help him work out how to get back down on his own by practicing in the day time?

How many times are you wanting to feed him at night? I would decide on what you are comfortable with not stick with it. At this age my DD had 2 NFs still.

When he is crying for 2-3 hours, are you with him, or in and out, or what all?

As far as the actual teaching him to sleep part, have a look here at PUPD:How to PU/PD (inc age adaptations)

I would make yourself a little mattress of some sort on the floor or maybe a comfy chair so that you will be as comfortable as possible during all this, maybe even go to sleep!

If you don't mind to clear up those few questions, that can help us get a clearer view of what is going on. This will get easier and we are here to help.

[lalubaum]

Hi there,
Thank you very much for your reply. Please see my replies to your questions below and some additional comments:

[OK, as far as your routine, I would not let him go more than 2 hour in the morning and 1.5 hour in the afternoon. I would move his A time up to 3 hours also, you may want to do that in 15 minute increments over 3-5 days to avoid OT though.Give this time to settle in, there is always some OT involved when you are teaching LOs new ways to go to sleep.]

He already has the 3hours A time between the morning and afternoon naps and between the afternoon nap and bed time. I will try to start to implement it for the morning nap, too. He usually doesn't sleep 2hrs in the morning, max 1h30min. Yesterday (Saturday, 06/12, we tried everything but he didn't nap in the morning and slept 2h40min in the afternoon, until 15:40hr. Because of it he had 4hrs A time before bed time and it worked very well. He slept 4hrs until his 1st night feeding

[With regards to the standing up, how long has he been doing this? If this is recent, then it may be a new skill that he needs practice with. Can you help him work out how to get back down on his own by practicing in the day time? ]

he started to stand up in his bed 10 days ago. Yes, it is indeed a new skill and he is enjoying so much. At the moment, he is not interested on his toys and only holding everywhere and standing up all day along. I am doing everything to teach him how to sit down


How many times are you wanting to feed him at night? I would decide on what you are comfortable with not stick with it. At this age my DD had 2 NFs still.

We are going on holidays on Wednesday for 5 weeks and I will be flying back home from Brazil with him alone so I would like to keep the breastfeeding until our return, if he doesn't drop beforehand. At the moment, I am mainly breast feeding him only at the nights and in very rare occasions during the day as a snack. So, answering your question I would like to keep 1 time breast feeding at night, let's say until the end of Jan. As I still have a good milk supply it will be better if I reduce it slowly

When he is crying for 2-3 hours, are you with him, or in and out, or what all?

he sleeps by himself in his bedroom. When he cries at night, I go and feed him. I do try to calm him down first but it never works. He doesn't stop pulling my shirt or moving his head looking for the breast until he gets it. So, if he doesn't sleep after the feeding and starts the show, I put him on the bed, stay a little with him and leave the bedroom for couple of min. I am in/out few times, sometimes I pick him up to calm down and put him back...sometimes, I have to feed him again and stays in the bedroom until he falls asleep

As far as the actual teaching him to sleep part, have a look here at PUPD:How to PU/PD (inc age adaptations)


To be honest with you we tried the PU/PD before and it didn't work at all. He gets louder and louder

I would make yourself a little mattress of some sort on the floor or maybe a comfy chair so that you will be as comfortable as possible during all this, maybe even go to sleep!

As I mentioned above we are going on 5 weeks holidays and he will be sleeping  on his bed but with us in the same room  (3 weeks with my husband and I together + 2 weeks only with mama). So, I do hope things will get a little better. Actually, what does your experience say about the babies' sleep issues while holidays and sleeping in parents' bedroom?

I am looking forward to hearing your comments.
Best regards

[nevinsmama]

Hi again, I would hold the new routine with longer A time in the morning and have a good look at the PUPD page. How were you usng PUPD before? Did you persist until LO went to sleep or did you feed him after some time say, 1-2 hours, had passed? The point is, consistency is key here. You are teaching him a new skill and he WILL scream and complain and what all, but if you persist this will work.

Decide when you will feed him and whatever you do, don't cave and feed him after starting PUPD or he will scream louder next time! It will be OK! If you are going on holidays, I personally would not start until you return as to avoid mixed messages and making things harder the next time you want to really tackle this. When traveling, I think everyone just does what they need to do to get by!