Author Topic: Sleep? What's that? I think I used to do that once.  (Read 1132 times)

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Offline MarsMomma

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Sleep? What's that? I think I used to do that once.
« on: December 16, 2014, 07:33:56 am »
My 6-month-old son used to be a good sleeper, but everything fell apart at around 4 months. I thought it was a sleep regression, and maybe it was -- but we're still not out of it, 2 months later. He fights his naps and they tend to be short (45-60 mins, with occasional longer ones). I usually have to rock or nurse him to get him down. He wakes every 2-3 hrs at night and won't go back to sleep unless I nurse him.

Our day usually looks something like this:

8:30 wake up
10:30 S
11:30 A
2:30 S
3:30 A
He sometimes has a catnap around 6:00, but other times just stays up
8:30 bed (a bit earlier if he only had 2 naps, or later if he had 3)
11:30 first night waking; goes back to sleep quickly if I nurse him
2:30 second night waking, and so on

He starts out in his crib, but inevitably ends up in our bed.

I realize he may be overtired from staying awake so long before bedtime (on the days he only takes 2 naps), but this problem predates his 3-2 transition. Even when he was routinely taking a 3rd nap we had these night wakings. He is also getting his first tooth, but I'm not sure if teething could really be the cause of all this.

I feel guilty because I know the rocking and nursing may be just reinforcing his sleep associations, but I don't know what to do. I've always tried to put him down "drowsy but awake," but it just doesn't work anymore. He cries and cries and it escalates until I end up giving in. Should I stay by his crib and let him cry? Pick up/put down? I don't want to do CIO but I feel like we're headed in that direction. I feel like I'm failing him by not knowing how to respond and not helping him develop better sleep habits. And I'm exhausted, too.  :(

Would love any advice.

Offline Martini~

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Re: Sleep? What's that? I think I used to do that once.
« Reply #1 on: December 16, 2014, 08:44:08 am »
Hello Honey and big hugs firstly!

I think we are having some UT/OT loop here. He is doing UT during day and then gets OT when BT comes.
Have you tried to put him down later than after 2h in the morning? 2h is short A for a 6mo so I wouldn't be afradid to push slightly here. 15min every 2-3 days. WDYT?
~Marta

Offline MarsMomma

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Re: Sleep? What's that? I think I used to do that once.
« Reply #2 on: December 16, 2014, 18:44:22 pm »
Thanks for your reply!

He does 3h throughout the day, but in the morning he gets REALLY tired around the 2h mark and I've been hesitant to try to extend that (maybe due to bad nighttime sleep?) I can try it, though. Right now we are *right* at the 2h mark and he's rubbing his eyes and fussing.

Offline Martini~

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Re: Sleep? What's that? I think I used to do that once.
« Reply #3 on: December 16, 2014, 19:15:21 pm »
I totally get you, as my DS is the same... ::) but in general I have to say that it's really difficult to get OT first nap so it's worth a try to push this first A slightly. I think even Tracy suggests 2:30 A for a 6mo (in the morning). So you could try it, hopefully this nap will become longer. Too early nap in the morning is also reinforcing early waking.

You can also push the second A if it suits you better but in general I would aim for 2x1-1,5h naps and 11-12h night at this age. So ie:
8:30 WU
11:00 nap for 1-1,5h
15:00 2nd nap for 1-1,5h
8:30 BT

You have to check yourself how your DS cope with A times. With two 1,5h you can work on 3 equal 3h A. But some LOs would go ok with two shorter A in the morning and noon and than a longer one till BT so ie 2.5, 3.0 and 3.5. All depends on how it suits you.

My DS was on a different routine that age and it was nap at 9:30 (2,5h after WU) for 30min (I woke him) and than pd at 12:30 or so (he slept for 2h here) and than we have a long 4,5h till BT. But he was fine on this routine as two shorter A compensated for one longish one.
~Marta

Offline MarsMomma

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Re: Sleep? What's that? I think I used to do that once.
« Reply #4 on: December 16, 2014, 19:29:36 pm »
Thanks. I was able to push him to 2 hours 45 minutes this morning so we'll see how it goes the rest of today.

Offline MarsMomma

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Re: Sleep? What's that? I think I used to do that once.
« Reply #5 on: December 16, 2014, 19:59:04 pm »
And he woke up after 25 mins. :(

Offline Martini~

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Re: Sleep? What's that? I think I used to do that once.
« Reply #6 on: December 16, 2014, 21:33:08 pm »
Don't worry Hon, he is probably OT. Wish you a decent second nap or just do a catnap. Btw let's see how the second nap will go.

Regarding morning A - try to increase his A gradually. 15min every couple of days. It's normal for LOs to need time to adjust to a new set of naps, so hope that it will be better next days!
~Marta

Offline MarsMomma

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Re: Sleep? What's that? I think I used to do that once.
« Reply #7 on: December 17, 2014, 01:19:08 am »
His second nap was unusual because we were in the car. He slept 45 mins in his carseat. Tomorrow though I will try to increase his morning A time gradually, and we'll see how that goes. Thanks for your help. :)

My question for tonight is -- if he wakes up after 2-3 hours again, what should I do? Just nurse him? Stay by his crib and let him cry? Try pick up put down? I'm just not sure what I should be doing to help him.

Offline MarsMomma

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Re: Sleep? What's that? I think I used to do that once.
« Reply #8 on: December 22, 2014, 06:15:08 am »
I wish I could say I've had success, but it feels like it's just getting worse and worse.

The last two nights, he's woken up 45 minutes after bedtime, wide awake, and not gone back to sleep until after 11. I feel like he must be UT at bedtime, but I don't know why (it's been over 3 hours since his last nap) and stretching him longer just doesn't work.

In tears tonight because I don't know what to do.

Offline Martini~

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Re: Sleep? What's that? I think I used to do that once.
« Reply #9 on: December 22, 2014, 06:25:37 am »
Ok Hon, can you please post your easy to me and tell me how you changed it vs previous routine?
~Marta

Offline MarsMomma

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Re: Sleep? What's that? I think I used to do that once.
« Reply #10 on: December 22, 2014, 16:36:45 pm »
Well this was yesterday:

8:15 wake up
11:00 sleep
11:45 wake up (short naps are typical for him)
2:45 sleep
3:30 wake up
8:00 bedtime (he was exhausted)
8:45 wake up and bouncing off the walls until I finally went to bed WITH HIM at 11

Offline Martini~

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Re: Sleep? What's that? I think I used to do that once.
« Reply #11 on: December 22, 2014, 18:08:15 pm »
It probably was OT, as 12h days on two 45min naps may result in that at that age especially if you had couple of days like that.

Let's concentrate on first nap and first A. I remember that you said you put your DS down at 2:45 at he woke at 25'mark. What happened next? I would try to push further here until you finally will get a nice 1:30 nap. Even LSN babies have to have one good nap a day:). If you first nap of the day is 45min or you just prefer it last 45min which is also fine you have to find a proper timing to get at least good second nap. I would try to push further than 2:45pm so let say at 3pm or even later.
~Marta