Sorry for the delay! Our wind down is so similar to yours!
- Diaper change
- Story
- Into Swaddle
- Rock and sing two songs
- Put into crib when relaxed
We also have black out shades and a sound machine for white noise. It seems to help him. Sometimes he fusses during the story so I know he is really tired and get him right into the swaddle. More often he does his mantra cries, very short, when we rock for a bit. I do rock him for a few minutes. I don't think he is really deeply asleep but drowsy enough to feel safe and relaxed.
Through the newborn period, which we are approaching now the end, I really feel, and this is just personal, that he needed my help and comfort to sleep. It is important to gauge if your baby is ready for any sleep training. With my DD I discovered BW late and used PU/PD to fix a no nap problem and 16 nursings a DAY!
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Now with DS I have been following the principles of BW from the beginning - keeping feeding away from sleeping (unless at night or sick, growth spurt, etc.) and focusing on creating positive sleep associations where he understands the expectation for sleep is coming. It is working as long as I am consistent. Honestly so much so that he now isn't a great car sleeper. But I will take that over never napping at home!
There are a lot of people here who post about how sshh/pat doesn't always work for their babies and makes them very angry. Some mom's have modified to rubbing the head or tummy. Some don't use it at all. Honestly, I don't use it with DS. He got really upset and I was loosing the nap and my sanity. Oh, and while I'm not a mod here I do believe 20 mins is the length of time it takes them to get into their deep sleep period so that would make sense.