Nap Refusal - Any advice for today if poss

[Hayleys]

Hi

Thank you so much for your response! Guess it was inevitably going to go wonky. We haven't tried a later nap, although yesterday she took an hr to fall asleep at nap time and naturally napped later. I'll definitely try the later nap today. My gut response is that I'm thinking that 45 mins may be too long and we'll be in a similar situation as last night. The other day when she had a 45 min nap we still had BT problems. Do you think a shorter nap is an option right now or do you feel it's best to take a more gradual approach?

[Truly Blessed]

My gut response is that I'm thinking that 45 mins may be too long and we'll be in a similar situation as last night.

I agree TBH Hun, I'm just wary of encouraging you to move too fast, but IIWM I would be doing 30 mins straight off, because I found myself unable to tweak gently, it just drives me insane, and I have found more drastic measures to give clearer conclusions. So in short, your call 

Sorry, if that's no help 

x.

[Hayleys]

No that does help a lot.  I'll have a think about it and see how she seems this morning! x

[Hayleys]

Hi

Things have got worse really. I decided to try to get her to have a 30 min nap. I thought the best way would be in the car or pushchair but she wasn't receptive to that so instead decided to try her to have quiet time upstairs which has worked well for the previous days. However when I tried to put her gro bag on she began saying that she didn't want it. This is exactly what happened last night. She then waked up the stairs but would not let me pick her up to put her in her cot bed (we still have the sides up). Again the same problem as last night. We can usually put her gro bag on downstairs and carry her up to bed but she now wants to walk up this is fine but she won't in the bed. This is greatly adding to the problem so my DH and I were wondering if it may be time to take the cotsides down and put a stair gate at her door. We were thinking that she may be more responsive to getting into her big bed. My only worry is perhaps this is not a good time to make any changes. Any thought on this?

So at the moment we are back downstairs as she is not wanting to get in her bed or go out so not sure what is going to happen with her nap today. Feeling very nervous about it!!!

[Truly Blessed]

Bloomin' internet has been in and out all day, tried to reply 5 times and lost post every time, sorry

I would have shot for a cat nap, but may be too late now, let me know what you did 

If no cat nap shoot for an early night, do you think 

Hope the day improves Sweetie.

Oh and I wouldn't change the cot sides, i don't think it is relevant TBH, this is a sleep issue and I would be worried she would start getting up and down, which wouldn't help.

(HUGS)

x.

[Hayleys]

Thank you for trying so much to help me - that's really sweet of you!

I did manage to get a cat nap in the car for 30 mins from 3-3:30. She woke fine when I put her on the floor in front if the TV. It was actually a lot easier than waking her in the cot! To be honest she has been managing really well so far, but let see how it goes.

So thinking about your comment as seeing this as a sleep issue. Do you think I should I insist that she wears her gro bag and then do WI/WO until she sleeps? I feel that BT is going to be a struggle with her either wearing it or not to be honest as I just can't think of any other way to get her in the bed. I've been wracking my brains all day to look for other options but she already has some soft toys and a book in there. Yesterday when I tried to introduce something new to intice her into the cot she still would not go in.

Ugh!! Dreading BT!!

[Truly Blessed]

Internet down, on my phone so this will be concise Hun, for now . Gro bag 'don, in cot as always, I'd maybe try GW sitting by the door maybe? See if that helps, just sticking to one sleepy phrase. Happy you managed the cat nap, I'd be tempted to do it again.x.

[Hayleys]

Hi

Thank you so much for your help, I felt really stressed yesterday!

So after the 30 min cap nap she was fine in mood, did seem a little tired but not anything major. We got invited over to my parent's house and as my head was unclear as to tackle bedtime we decided to let us have some thinking time and allow her to just fall asleep in the car and transfer her. Glad I did this as she then slept all night and I woke feeling more refreshed and positive about everything. It also enabled me to get a rough idea as to what time she would fall asleep after a 30 min nap. This was her EASY for yesterday:

WU: 8:10
S 3-3:30 (in car)
BT: 9:40 (fell asleep in the car)

WU 8 pm
S 2-2:30 (in car)

So this morning I went to a relative house and let her fall asleep in the car on the way home. This worked really well as she was receptive to getting in the car and again she woke easily when I sat her in front of the TV. At the moment being at home for naps is just exhausting as she is adamant that she wants to go upstairs but won't then get into her bed and if I try to take her out then she is hysterical too. So I think I'm going to try to plan morning trips out for next week so she can cat nap in the car on the way home. Fingers crossed it will still work and enable me to have some control over what times he naps as yesterday with all the dramas it just ended up being too late really.

If possible, I also really want to try to get bedtime back to 8 pm as apart from yesterday it has been so late and has pushed her WU time to 8 am, which will be hard to maintain on a Thursday when my sister has her as she needs to taker her in the school run at 8:30 am. Anyway it's not a priority as such but just something which I am aware which may prove to be tricky if she continues to WU at this time.

The main thing which I want to tackle now is bedtime. I've noticed a change in her in recent weeks where she is wanting to have more independence. I think this is partly where the grobag has become an issue as she wants to walk up the stairs instead of me carrying her up in the grobag. I feel that I would like to support her independence and allow her to do this as after all she is 2.5 and I'm not going to always be carrying her up the stairs so the issue will come up again at some point anyway. The thing is I'm not sure yet what to do. I have tried letting her walk up but she then refuses her gro bag and also refuses to get into the cot with or without it. Choices often work well with her so perhaps I could try offering her a way to get into her cot or if not then I will have to out her in and deal with the aftermath which will follow by using GW as you suggested. I think perhaps in time she will learn that she has to get in and will be mire receptive to wanting to accept any choice which is offered. I think at the moment she will refuse any choice offered. So what I'm struggling with is whether to let her climb the stairs and then put the grobag on in her room, let her climb the stairs and just put the grobag on in her sleep or insist that she has the grobag on downstairs and carry her up as we usually do. She is so fixed on nit wanting her grobag on. The first thing in the morning this is what she says and even the other night when i transfered her from the car and what putting it on as she was asleep, she stirred and asked me to take it off. So it is a big deal for her and will having it on will be very difficult and probably make GW even harder. Any thoughts on this?

Also what BT would you aim for tonight? She would usually have a 13 hr day so is 8 pm unrealistic? I don't want to put her down too early as I suspect that she will be quite upset.

[Truly Blessed]

http://gro.co.uk/grobag-nursery-stay-on-bedding

I'll be back with more when DS in is in bed Hun, but wanted to show you this, from the wonderful gro company in case it could be the answer to saying goodbye to the gro bag.x.

[Hayleys]

Oh thank you for this!!!

I'm in the midst of the bedtime routine too so only just been able to have a brief look. All of the pictures seem to show the duvets in beds without the sides down. Can they still be used with the sides up?

My DH and I were just talking over dinner about still taking the for sides down and perhaps putting one of those attachable boards on the side so she still has a certan amount of security. She will definitely still get out of the bed for sure. To be honest knowing her personality, I do feel that this is something which she will do whenever we do it. I think my only big concern about thinking of the big bed option is her needing to learn to use a duvet and getting cold in the night and waking up but perhaps this would help with that as I saw it mentioned about poppers.

I do feel that she is strongly telling me that she does not want the gro bag anymore so we definitely need to review this. xx

[Truly Blessed]

The bedding has a special sheet to which the pillow is attached and the duvet set zips up the side to stop LO from falling out and to prevnt the bedding from being kicked off, so you could take the sides down and simultaneously stop the gro bag and switch to the gro bedding, making a big deal about her being a big girl now Could work as it sounds as though she is feeling like a grown up girl, wanting to walk upstairs and be out of the bag

WRT her routine, I think if you try for the cat nap every day, and start with 30 mins, possibly dropping to 20 mins in the near future that a 12 hour day could be achievable. I think you would need to decide on a late cat nap and stick with it for a few days if you can, then see where you're at. At the moment each day has been different with varied amounts of sleep, so I think it will take a little time to know whether she can have the cat nap and an 8 o clock BT YK 

Typically the amount of sleep a LO is able to achieve drops unavoidably during the 1-0 process, but it may be this  plan could help her the most.

BTW I also couldn't stand to do cat naps in the house and DS did the same WRT to cot refusal so went this route also for a while  . I did the cat nap from 3 to 3.20/30 and WU time in the morning varied.

What do you think 

x.

[Hayleys]

Great - thank you!! Going to have a think about the bedding and perhaps putting the sides down. I do think that perhaps it may be a better thing to do once we have solidly settled into no naps and are back on track but then again it also does make sense to do it now also. So you can use the bedding and still have the cot sides up, then? Do you think that generally the change to being in a big bed can cause night wakes or anything else for that matter?

So I have just finished putting her down in her cot tonight and it went much better than I expected!!! I let her walk up the stairs (completely ditched the gro bag and put in on once she was asleep), devised a new little routine of some stories before getting her in bed. She took to this really well and I clearly explained to her everything we were going to do before we did it which also helped a lot, I think. I also used her toddler chair as a little step by the cot and gave her the option to either use it to help her climb in the bed or I would pick her up and put her in. She loved the first option and got in no problem. She did then start to get upset but it was more murmer cries than fall on screams like the other night. I sat by the door so she could see me and felt that I did not need to intervene much really. It did take her 50 mins to fall asleep but hopefully as long as her routine still suites her then this will be less time tomorrow as she was protesting a lot.

So this is what her routine looked like today:

WU 8 am
S 2-2-30
BT 8:20 (was a bit later with the new routine but she did not fall asleep until 9:10)

In your last post you mentioned about making sure that there was a long A time in the morning. If she wakes at 8, is 6 hrs enough until 2? And are you saying I could do 12 hr days?

Can't thank you enough for your support - you've been a star and it's greatly appreciated!!! x

[Truly Blessed]

Ah well done on the new BT routine, it sounds like she really went for it DS loves to have everything explained to him in great detail always has so we talk everything to the ends of the earth! lol

I don't know if the bedding is suitable for a cot with sides up, but I'm guessing not.

Yes Hun, I think the nap may need pushing out later in order to keep the day shorter. It looks as though she will take it at that time, but still need a 13 hour day. What about going for it at 3 

However, maybe you should stick with it for a few days and see what happens, may be too soon to switch it up for clear results.

It's my pleasure to try and help  you're most welcome Hun.x.

[Hayleys]

Hi!

So I stuck to the 2 pm nap today and this is what her EASY looked like after a 10 and a half hr sleep (that's really good for her). She did cry out on two occasions between 2 and 4 am. This was in her sleep and I didn't need to go into her but just thought I 'd mention it as it is highly unusual nowadays and wondered if it could be a sign of OT.

WU 7:40
S 2:00 -2:30
BT 8:10 (there was no crying tonight but did not fall asleep until 10:55 pm!!!)

She was on great form all day and didn't seem greatly tired at all. I noticed that it did take longer for her to fall asleep in the car compared to yesterday, took 15 mins as opposed to 5.  I could try pushing the nap later at some point and 3 pm would be fine except for the days when my sister has her on a Monday and Thursday as she needs to take her on the afternoon school run. The latest I think she could have her wake is 2:45 or possible 3 pm. Just wondering, what is the reason behind her perhaps needing a later nap? I've always felt that she does better with a longer A time before bed.

So as you can see it took her 2 hrs and 45 mins to fall asleep. Just wondering what you think I should do from here. It has been 3 days where she has been on 30 min naps. Do you think a change is needed? I suspect she may only have a 9hr sleep tonight, so perhaps I shouldn't change anything then and hope she will be more tired at BT? Or still cut to 20 mins? Any ideas? x

[Hayleys]

Hi!

So at 1:30 am she started crying and I think shouting a little in her cot. I went in and she was still laying down and settled when I spoke to her and then was asleep. Do you think this could be OT?

She then slept solidly until 8:15 am. Really not sure what to do with the nap today . I looked back in her EASY from a few days a go on the first day when she had a 30 min nap and with a later nap time she did settle more quickly and had a 13.5 day. But as this was the first short nap day, I'm guessing this could have had something to do with it. My husband will be with her all day today so nap time can be whenever. If you see this post in time, any ideas?