Nap Refusal - Any advice for today if poss

[Hayleys]

Thanks! So our day generally went well, she seemed to cope well. Then at 5:15 when she was eating dinner, she was falling asleep at the table. When I got her down on the floor she woke and was keen to have her bath. She wasn't hyper but she was suddenly wide awake compared to how she had just been. She was also taking ages to get in the bath so time was ticking on. I was keen to give her meds and something else to eat before bed so out BT was a bit later at 6:45. Our EASY was this:

WU 7:20
BT 6:45 (asleep by 7:05)

When she got in bed, she was an OT mess. Standing on her bed screaming. I was putting my arms out to her, offering a cuddle but she wasn't wanting it. After about 10 mins if tears and screaming she did come to me and finally fell asleep in my lap!!

I guess I have to just see how the night goes now but if by some miracle it goes extremely well and she has a 11 hr sleep then should I try a no nap day tomorrow? Do you think I was too late with the bedtime? xx

[Truly Blessed]

So it sounds like she had reached her limit at 10 hours Hun, doesn't it  If she had gone down at that time however, she would have had to pull a whopper of a night in order to not get a super EW, but you just don't know she may have done it. Then she seems to have gone super OT when you say she woke up, you've probably been there yourself when you're shattered and feel like you're running on adrenalin alone.

See what happens tonight Hun, if there are any OT NW and what length night she pulls. If you post early in the morning I'll check in on you.

Everything crossed for you Hun.x.

[Hayleys]

Hi

So she woke at 4:40 and went back to sleep about 45 mins later. She then woke at 7:20. Obviously she woke due to OT but minus the wake she did have about an 11 and a half hour night which is much more than she has been getting. Do you think I should try a no nap day again?

[Truly Blessed]

Morning

Ah that's great news, I half expected a NW as we used to get them at first. I would be tempted to do NN day 2 however I would still take it as it comes, and see how she is. I'd try for an earlier BT if you do go with no nap.x.

[Hayleys]

Hi

Thank you. I was thinking about an earlier BT too. I think I try 6 and make sure we are on time tonight. Hopefully the better night sleep will help her handle it better too. We'll see!! xx

[Truly Blessed]

6 is what I would shoot for too Hun. I think there is a chance if today is NN day 2 that she can pull a whopper night tonight. Please God.x.

[Hayleys]

Hi

So she didn't have a nap today. Late morning I was going to take her to the shop, and I did wonder if I should try a nap too as she was beginning to get grumpy. However she wouldn't get in the car so I couldn't do this. Also when we got back in the house I realised she was very hungry so this may also have affected her mood. The day wasn't too bad really. Around 4 pm, she started to get hyper though but she didn't nearly fall asleep during dinner like yesterday.

She was in bed at 6:15, a little later than planned but I realised that my DH would be walking through the door at 6 and if she heard him whilst upstairs it would really disrupt bedtime. She wasn't as upset as yesterday but she was very restless and struggled to settle with tears at time. She was obviously overtired and she could not settle. In the end she fell asleep at 7 pm!! A lot later than I had hoped.

Of course I need to see how the night goes and how she is in the morning but just wondering if you have any thoughts? x

[Hayleys]

Hi!

So she did sleep all night last night but woke at 6:10 am.

This was her EASY yesterday

WU 7:20
BT 6:15 (asleep 7 pm)
WU 6:10

She seems in good spirits this morning but is looking tired. I'm wondering if I should try a nap today? Otherwise bedtime would have to be extremely early, I think! What do you think? If so, should I am for a 30 min nap as early as poss and then her usual bedtime of 8 pm?

xx

[Truly Blessed]

Morning, great that there were no NW Remember sleep begets sleep, so when an OT LO has had a good night they will look more tired than before, it means the flood gates have opened so to speak, so I'm not surprised she is looking tired this morning. It's possible she will fight a really early nap after an 11 hr plus night, but you can give it a whirl, and just try again a touch later if not.

Good luck.x.

[Hayleys]

Hi

Thanks! I think you may be right about her refusing the nap. If that happens and it gets quite late, do you think a 3rd nap day in a row is ok? I'm thinking I would need to aim for 6 pm bedtime again?

[Truly Blessed]

I would think about a cat nap around 4 pm of 15/20 mins if you can APOP it in the car. We did this quite a lot, once we started with NN days. The time that you give the cat nap is probably going to be round about the time she reaches her limit on day 3. It would be hard to wake her, so I'd resort to a car nap and bribery upon waking (her favourite sweeties for eg ) and then go with a BT of around 7.30. The very long A time before nap plus the short nap should ensure she will still go over at a decent time.

x.

[Hayleys]

Hi

Thanks! So today has been really taxing!  She just hasn't been herself, I think a mixture of tiredness and teeth.  We've not had any meltdowns yet though thankfully - but nearly!

I had to work after 4 pm for a few hours so was unable to stick to what you suggested.  I thought I would try for a short nap just after lunch as I could see that she needed something.  I arranged to go to my mum's house as I thought she would get in the car easily then, and would sleep on the way.  She had refused to get in the car yesterday but I thought with the thought of going somewhere I know she likes then it would motivate her.  She was excited when I told her where we were going, but then she refused to get in the car.  She kept wanting to run back to the house and was trying to delay going as much as possible.  There was no way I could get her in without having a battle on my hands so I left it.  This was all around 1:30 ish. 

Then at 3 pm, she was looking extremely shattered and then announced that she wanted to go to Nana's house now.  I thought to myself that I think what she is really saying is that she wants to go to sleep now as I had been thinking about it and wondering if has an association with sleep and the car.  So I said to her come on let's go!  She ran out the door but refused to put her coat on (this can be quite common and I just take it with us).  However it was just starting to sleet outside and she was upset that she was getting wet.  I suggested to put her rain jacket on which she loved and put the hood up so she would not get wet.  But then she slipped over and was beside herself and insisted that we go back inside.  Not sure if we would have made it to the car without the sleet and falling over incident, but it certainly felt more hopeful than before.

Anyway, bearing in mind I felt she was trying to tell me that she wanted to go to sleep, I put the TV on for her and let her sit on the sofa.  I then went over to her to cuddle her and she was asleep within a minute!  I let her have 20 mins from 3:05 - 3:25 pm.  As you said she was extremely hard to wake and I had to make sure the TV was on and also offer her a cake (thanks for the food tip - worked wonders as the TV wasn't enough and usually is)!

So now the problem I have is that I think she is associating the car with going to sleep.  This is making it really hard as I now can't go anywhere without her thinking I am trying to make her sleep. It seems she is fighting going to sleep so much.  She also is not a fan of the pushchair right now as she is wanting to assert her independence so I don't think this will work either.  At least I know I can use the sofa and cuddle her if she does get really tired, but I think the APOP in the car isn't an option now - Ugh!!  And I don't want to keep affirming this association by using it as I think getting her to go out could become an issue? I think I may be stuck in the house for a while until she is more receptive to the car again.  Did you experience this or know anyone else who has?  I'm worried now that I won't be able to go out with her for her while.  Hopefully it will pass soon, but yikees!  I'm sure the teeth situation isn't helping with this either.

Going to aim for about a 7:30 bedtime, fingers crossed she goes down well and has a decent night. xx

[Truly Blessed]

Hi Hayley,

I wonder if yes, she is asserting herself about getting in the car, very possibly because she knows you want her to sleep, but I suspect it;s not all about sleep, but rather that it is wrapped up in her becoming more assertive (it's that age) in all things, and testing boundaries, does that make sense  So the car thing is just part of it. Like you say, she is the same with the coat, insisting you go back inside and wanting to make other decisions for herself, being very assertive, I remember it very well. IIWM even if you do hope she will sleep in the car I would try announcing beforehand, "We're going to 'wherever' in the car, you can have a little sleep if you want to, but you don't have to, it is up to you" and see if it makes a difference. Or you could try for total reverse psychology and tell her "Mammy doesn't want you to sleep in the car, so that you sleep well tonight"  I think I would try the first option first 

Also try talking to her when you're having chill time, and just speak to her about everything, give her great detail about how important sleep is, ask her lots of questions about how she feels, what she prefers and name all of her emotions for her throughout the day, so she can help you understand more

Finger's crossed for a good night Hun.x.

[Hayleys]

Hi!

Yes, I have seen a big change in her during the last month and she is certainly trying to push the boundaries. I can usually try different approaches which work but with the car yesterday I could see this was, for whatever reason, extremely difficult for her. I can try speaking up her, I really like that idea. I'm not sure she would be very receptive to it now but we'll see. I almost feel it may be better not to talk to her about it as it may make it a bigger deal, but I'm not sure. Up until now she very rarely gets like this about things and it may be that is all about to change due to age but this behaviour of digging her heels in so much is highly unusual. I think I'm going to just see how she is today and take it from there.

Unfortunately last night didn't go that well really. This was her EASY for yesterday:
WU 6:10
S 3:05 - 3:25
BT 7:30 (asleep at 9:00)
WU 6:15

So she only had 9 hrs 15 mins last night!! I think the 20 min cat nap at that time was too much for her. Just before we tried a no nap day she was pushing her day to 15 hrs with an early 30 min nap so that a similar pattern.

I really don't know what to do today! Any ideas? I may not be able to get her in the car either so it could be tricky. xx

[Truly Blessed]

Oh dear, the hope was that the cat nap would work because of the 2 previous NN days, that's a shame

I'd go for the early nap routine today Hun, which I suspect she will take pretty early after a night that short. If you can't get her in the car opt for 'quiet time' snuggled up on the sofa, curtains drawn and low key TV, she may just drop off but if she doesn't it will help her through to EBT.

x.