Hello everyone!
I'm really struggling with EASY, mostly the nap part, and I'm hoping I could get some insight…or possibly just some encouragement to keep slogging away…from some more experienced Mom's out there that have maybe struggled with the same things. This is my first baby.
My baby is 10 weeks old tomorrow, and is taking very short naps, 45minutes at the most, sometimes 5, 10, 20 minutes. My husband and I have spent the last week doing nothing but concentrate on keeping to the routine and trying to extend his naps, with no luck. I have read anything and everything out there on baby sleep and naps, so I know about the magic 20 minute mark, the transition at 45 minutes and the jolts, usually at 5-10 minutes as the reason for his waking at these times. We have been doing the shh-pat method, which seems to work to calm him down but rarely puts him back to sleep. If he does go back to sleep, he usually wakes up within five minutes if we stop patting, even if it's past the 20 minute mark and he appears to be in that slow-breathing, deep sleep phase. We have tried wake-to-sleep a couple times, but often he won't even get to that 30 minute mark before waking up.
I started EASY on day 2 home from the hospital, and have always put him to sleep swaddled in his crib. I don't nurse him to sleep (unless he falls asleep at night, then I just put him down) and don't put him to sleep in a swing/chair. I have a soothing nap/bedtime routine that both my husband and I follow, and I don't think he is too overstimulated. I don't shlep him to and from activities, most errands and such I do when my husband is home, other than when I have to take him, like doctors appointments. He is usually awake for between 1hour to 1 hour 15 minutes before he yawns and shows me his cues. The beginning of the routine often goes well, until I swaddle him, at which point, he starts to fight and squirm like crazy. I have tried a couple different swaddles, and without swaddling at all. I sit with him, and shh-pat and sing until he is calm and his eyes are starting to close, and then put him down. At which point, he usually starts to cry. Sometimes he appears to drift off but then wakes up a few minutes later. There have been times where I have been able to put him down and he will go to sleep on his own and sleep for longer stretches during the day, so I know it is possible. But lately, these times have been very rare.
Bedtime has been established since he was about 4 weeks old. We do our routine, I nurse him, when he is starting to get drowsy I swaddle and put him down around 6:30pm and he will often sleep until between 2-4am without a peep. However, recently, he has started waking up every 45 minutes at bedtime too, and is needing much more soothing to initially go to sleep. This is why I am getting concerned is because I feel like I am going backwards!
So…my questions for anyone who thinks they can help…
1. Is this just how it is at this stage? Or am I doing something wrong? My friends have told me that things usually start to get better between 3-4 months, has anyone else noticed this?
2. After two or three failed nap times in the morning, I can tell he is over tired, making future nap attempts even harder….and I don't know what to do at this point? Is it better to just get him to sleep any way I can at this point so that he doesn't become even more overtired and frustrated and not worry about the "sleep prop" thing? Or do I just keep slogging away and putting him down again and again and again even if it doesn't seem to get him the much needed sleep he needs? I do take him for walks in the stroller in the afternoon if his morning naps haven't gone well in order to get him some much needed sleep, where he will sleep soundly for 2 or more hours. Is this helping by getting him more sleep? Or is it making it harder to put him down in the crib because he is getting used to sleeping in the stroller?
3. How is the shh-pat different than any other sleep prop? If I have to shh-pat him for 45 minutes in order for him to nap, how is that any better than putting him in a swing or stroller? At least in the stroller, I am able to get out and get some much needed fresh air and exercise! It has been weeks now, and I haven't managed to get much more than ten minutes of "You" time during the day, and some days are so bad that both him and I are in tears by the time my poor husband gets home. The book says that the shh-pat teaches him how to fall asleep on his own, but after weeks spent bent over the crib patting my little heart out, I am failing to see how this is teaching him anything?
I am willing to put in the work to get him on this EASY routine, as I think it will benefit him hugely. But my own sanity is in danger! I cry so often and struggle so much with this, I just want to do what is best for him and get him the sleep that I know he needs, and I feel like I am failing miserably. Please help!