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Offline Truly Blessed

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Re: She is bullying us
« Reply #15 on: January 10, 2015, 18:57:24 pm »
Hi Hun,

That's such a great update, well done on a super start :)

Quote from: Lollipop86 on January 10, 2015, 18:02:55 pm
I thought we could now sit on a chair beside her and move the chair back every few days.

Yes perfect, sit on a chair sideways, so as to try and avoid contact. Choose a 'sleepy phrase' to use, for eg: "Sleepy time Darling" or something using familiar language to you both, and use it sparingly. When you feel it is possible be 'hands off' Only move on to the next stage when she is handling the current one well. Usually every 3 to 5 days for most.

Quote from: Lollipop86 on January 10, 2015, 18:02:55 pm
Or I liked the idea of "jumping out for a second to do ..." - does this count as the same method as the chair or a combination is OK?

The just going to do x y z is more WI/WO. I would stick with GW if it is going well as I do think it sounds like it would suit her best. If you combine it will more than likely confuse her and upset the apple cart. Eventually with GW you will be standing in the doorway, then outside the doorway maybe just saying 'sleepy phrase' if needed so she knows you're there, and you're out :) Once you have used a method like this it is super, because when you get regressions you can use it again, and you and LO are familiar with it. It is always good to have 'a plan of action' it really helps you to stay in control, IME there is nothing worse than 'flailing in the wind' it is really stressful  :(.

Quote from: Lollipop86 on January 10, 2015, 18:02:55 pm
She got back on track waking up at 6.30-6.50 am now. With a nap of 40-60 minutes. So after this I can say I think she still needs her nap and maybe skip one every few days if she wants. And I don't get upset with myself anymore if she sleeps less than 1 hour.

This sounds sensible to me, often LO's will skip the odd nap during the 1-0, and sometimes it can have a positive effect. I would be tempted to stick with a nap of no more than 45 minutes and see how she goes. How is she upon waking from a nap of this length  ???

Quote from: Lollipop86 on January 10, 2015, 18:02:55 pm
Oh and also I did the Toddler Quiz and I was surprised as she obviously turned from spirited baby to textbook toddler


Lucky you :) bodes well for success lol.

Here for you all, keep up the good work Sweetie.x.
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Offline Lollipop86

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Re: She is bullying us
« Reply #16 on: January 10, 2015, 19:21:37 pm »
Hi again.

I just put her down. I sat beside her on a chair. Then I went out 2 times. First was quite OK. But for the second time she already drifted off to light sleep. I asked her if she is asleep and told her that I was going out to ask daddy something. No response. But when I went out she heard me. The floor squeaks like crazy! The most beside the door. So she started crying and I told her again where I was going but it was no use. I went out for 5 seconds and I came back. But it all came out looking like I sneaked out and came back because she cried after me. So what do I do in these cases?
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Offline Truly Blessed

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Re: She is bullying us
« Reply #17 on: January 10, 2015, 19:24:08 pm »
Just stay Hun, and forget leaving for now. Wait 15 minutes to be sure she is asleep, I think because of what had happened previously WI/WO of any kind could cause upset, does that make sense  ???

x.
« Last Edit: January 10, 2015, 20:23:51 pm by Sammysmammy »
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Offline We Three

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Re: She is bullying us
« Reply #18 on: January 10, 2015, 19:35:33 pm »
^^ Exactly. Stay for now, get those big fears squashed. You can do the "popping out" in a couple of weeks. 
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Offline weaver

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Re: She is bullying us
« Reply #19 on: January 10, 2015, 19:43:40 pm »
Gah! Squeaky floors!!

ITA with Vicki and Anne, stick with staying with her for now.

Just wanted to add, my LO2 is around the same age and she really appreciates a clear explanation of what's going on. So I say I'm going to be just outside the door, or in the kitchen, or whatever. I think it's important to her that it's a real true explanation, not a made-up reason to pop out, iyswim.
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Offline Haribo2012

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Re: She is bullying us
« Reply #20 on: January 10, 2015, 19:50:38 pm »
^^^ totally agree! Stay for now so she's nice and reassured. I always say I'm sitting on top step of stairs or middle/bottom step etc then if DS pops out he can see I kept my word and then just pop back into bed and repeat. It's hard work but totally worth it and she will get it soon. x
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Offline We Three

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Re: She is bullying us
« Reply #21 on: January 10, 2015, 19:56:03 pm »
 I personally think the "I'll be in the kitchen" is a while off. First, LO needs to just experience that Mommy left, came back immediately, and all was well. That needs to happen dozens of time IMO before Mom will be able to pop to the kitchen or fold laundry. It took us about 3 weeks of "popping out" before we got to the "I'll see you in 2 minutes for another kiss."  Returning BEFORE the lo gets upset is key.
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Offline Katet

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Re: She is bullying us
« Reply #22 on: January 10, 2015, 20:01:11 pm »
Quote from: Lollipop86 on January 10, 2015, 19:21:37 pm
The most beside the door. So she started crying and I told her again where I was going but it was no use. I went out for 5 seconds and I came back. But it all came out looking like I sneaked out and came back because she cried after me. So what do I do in these cases?
I agree with the others in those sort of situations, you really don't leave, the moment your leaving disturbs them you are better to stay than to go.

 
Quote from: We Three on January 10, 2015, 19:56:03 pm
Returning BEFORE the lo gets upset is key.

This totally

If you think she is drifting off, then at this stage it is better not to attempt to leave if it is going to disrupt, in a couple of weeks give it a go, but in the early days just build the trust. But make sure you tell her that you will later leave & sleep in your own bed so she knows you won't be there in the middle of the night, but can come to her when she calls in the middle of the night
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Offline Lollipop86

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Re: She is bullying us
« Reply #23 on: January 11, 2015, 21:23:14 pm »
Hi. Sammysmammy, I didn't see your post before I sent mine, sorry. And then it looked like I was doing things my way... :)
 
OK, you've all been helpful and I got some good advice. Thank you all. We will sit beside her and move the chair. I hope it goes OK :)

I just don't know why sometimes she wakes up so early. Yesterday she had her nap in the car (40 minutes; 12.40-1.20) and we put her down at about 7.45. She woke up at 6am, earlier as usual. Was she OT or does she just need less sleep now? A few months ago she always slept about 12 hours at night.
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Offline snowbird

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Re: She is bullying us
« Reply #24 on: January 11, 2015, 22:44:24 pm »
Hi, yes. we've all been there! So difficult!

Just to clarify, you are sitting next to her on the chair and staying there until she is fast asleep, maybe 15 mins after you think she is asleep so as not to disturb her. Moving the chair is something you do later on in the process. E.g. stay where you are for a few days. Then on day 3 move the chair back slightly and stay where you are until she is fast asleep, day 5 move it back slightly again etc.

Another thing is to make sure you're getting some YOU time - finding something you can do for yourself! This will help you to deal with this situation too and be more patient. xxx
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Offline Lollipop86

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Re: She is bullying us
« Reply #25 on: January 12, 2015, 07:11:31 am »
Snowbird, thank you. I knew that :) The key is to be patient  :-[   I will do my best.

Ugh, today she woke up at 2am and came out of the room totally conscious. I put her down (she struggled) and then I got cold and my nose leaked and I got sore throat so I had to go out... So my hubby had to go there. Obviously he came back too soon as she got out of the bed again! They read a short story and then she gradually fell back to sleep... She then woke up at 7.25. I hate these nights! ::)
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Offline Truly Blessed

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Re: She is bullying us
« Reply #26 on: January 12, 2015, 09:57:35 am »
Hi Hun,

Can you post her typical routine please, being wide awake at that time of night makes me think it could do with a tweak.x.
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Offline *Ali*

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Re: She is bullying us
« Reply #27 on: January 12, 2015, 09:59:03 am »
I wouldn't engage her in anything fun at night like reading a story or it will just motivate her to keep waking. I'd just sit in the room like you do for BT and wait for her to sleep.
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Offline Truly Blessed

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Re: She is bullying us
« Reply #28 on: January 12, 2015, 10:11:18 am »
Yes, agree with Ali Hun, sorry I meant to add that too.x.
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Offline Lollipop86

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Re: She is bullying us
« Reply #29 on: January 13, 2015, 06:45:26 am »
I know! I wouldn't read to her in the MOTN!  ::)  He said it was the only way to get her back to bed which I don't believe... Men...

Her routine:
WU 6.50
E
A
E
NT cca. 1.30 (45 to 60 min)
A
E
BT 7.30

Yesterday NT was at 2 (45 min), she fell asleep at 7.45, she woke up today at 6.10. We cuddled until 7 in my bed :) (she rarely falls asleep in my bed).
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