10 week old 3rd child... please help!!

[Spandanna]

Hi ladies

can't believe I'm back here so soon but I have no idea what I'm doing and feel lie a first time Mum again. DS2 is 10 weeks on Tuesday. I am bf him and he won't be put down to sleep in his moses basket in the day and when/if I do finally manage to rock him to sleep and keep him asleep (with a dummy usually) then he only sleeps for about 30-45mins.

 The troubles have been caused by him getting used to sleeping in car seat on morning school runs (I then use the opportunity to run errands...shopping etc whilst he's asleep so he can go up t 2hrs asleep on the move Then the rest of the day I can't get him to sleep. With my others if they wouldn't settle I would leave them crying for a few minutes then go in and give them a dummy and they would nod back off but DS2 won't take the dummy in that state I have to pick him up +dummy+ crazy rocking. Often even that doesn't ork and I have to 'feed' him to sleep. I put feed in inverted commas because he sucks for abou 5 mins ten falls fast asleep so I know it's more for comfort.

I'm not even sure what his routine should look like but here's yesterday's EASY

E -7am BF
-
S - 8.30-10.30

E 10.40

E12
S 12.05 (in my arms after many failed attempts and a brief 'feed')


E - 1pm

(after that he only napped for about 10 mins on the school run at 3pm and had little snack feeds every hour or 2)

S 5pm - only allowed him 20mins as was concerned for the night but he was desperate
A bath
E - 6.30pm bottle formula
S - 7.20pm

(woke with a bit of wind but settled in bed with a dummy)

E 2am

E5.30am

E 7am

Today has been terrible. No school run meant 40 mins trying to settle him to sleep at 8.20 finally he was down at 9, up again at 9.30. and tht pattern has continued until now really (he woke after a half hour sleep and wouldn't resettle for love nor money, finally I ave rocked him back to sleep with a dummy and he's sleeping happily in my arms 


I really could do with some ideas please!! I'm struggling to do anything for my other two because I'm either feeding DS2 or trying to get him to sleep. Is it even feasible to improve his routine with two others to run around after??? I should add that I'm thinking the first thing I need to do is start introducing more bottle feeds so that DH can help at weekends and I don't feel so overwhelmed by it all. I only made t to 2 weeks bfing both DS1 and DD so am thrilled to have nailed it this time but it's an additional 'new territory' thing and I think we will all be happier as a family if I can switch to daytime bottles....

Thanks in advance!!

[Spandanna]

I should add that first sleep time was in car seat

[jessmum46]

Hi and congratulations on DS2

First thoughts....10 weeks is still very tiny.  I think we BW mums tend to have pretty high expectations from little newborns, but in fact neither of mine were taking good consistent naps in the Moses basket/crib so young.  I think we started to have *some* success from around 10-12 weeks but certainly no textbook EASY routines!  What I'm trying to say is I certainly don't think you've caused any issues by having DS nap on the move.  It's essential with older LOs to get out and about (tbh it's essential for your own sanity even with one) so having a LO that can sleep in more than one place is a bonus. 

Secondly, short naps are normal and common in the early months.  They are not a sign you are doing anything 'wrong' per se, although I do notice your A times are a little above what might be expected for an average at ten weeks.  I would have thought closer to 1h15 (asleep by then) would be where you might want to be aiming - it's possible you are trying for sleeps a touch late and struggling with OT.

Thirdly, do you have/use a sling?  Loved it for my DS as it meant I had my hands free for DD. 

Fourthly....I think third children do have to 'go with the flow' a little more, it depends on age gaps but I think having a perfect routine so early is probably fairly impossible....if you can tell yourself that tiredness is hard work but won't harm him, and try to let go the sleep worry as much as you can that will probably be good for the whole family.  Easier said than done, I know

Lastly...breastfeeding.  Firstly, huge well done for getting so far, you should be very proud of yourself for giving DS2 a great start . I am totally in favour of every mum and family choosing what is best for them in terms of feeding, so if bottles are the way you want to go, then go for it . However, just sharing my experience a little here, not trying to convert but I have EBF my two, DD to a year and DS still going at 7.5m, yes the early weeks are hard because feeds take a long time and are so often.  However once you get onto a more regular pattern of only 4-5 feeds in the day +/- night feeds and when LO becomes much more efficient (feeds done in less than 5-10 mins now) then it really can be very easy and quick, much more so than having to make up formula, plan in advance when heading out etc.  Just wanted to offer that as an option for you and encourage you to keep going if it's something you'd like to do, it really can work even with more than one LO.  Bottles are not always the 'easy option' if you see what I mean.  As I said, whatever choice you make will be right for you and your family though .

Good luck and I hope that helps x

[Spandanna]

Firstly, thanks so much for replying. I have been running out of steam a bit here the last day or two. I think you're probably right about the OT and long A times. It starts in the morning because I leave the house at 8.30ish for the school run so that's when he nods off. TBH today even in the car seat he kept waking up so I knew he was seriously OT....especially after a dreadful night. He woke at 11.45pm after a feed at 6.30pm (a good 2.5 hours earlier than usual...well, than his personal best  ) and from then on he wouldn't really settle properly. I'm actually wondering if he's having a growth spurt because tonight he tanked his bedtime bottle and then was rooting for more.

I have really struggled to get him to nap at all in his moses basket today. Yes I have a sling which is great but DD is a very physical 4yo and jumps on me and climbs on me so much at that I need time where I can let her be like that and as she is at preschool for full days the time I need DS in the sling (the grizzly early evening) is when DD most needs me too....tricky times really but it is getting easier.

I made the decision yesterday that I would give one more bottle per day in addition to his bedtime bottle so I decided to go for the second feed of the day around 10am.... now I'm riddled with guilt although I think ultimately it will be the best thing for us as a family as I will be able to hand DS2 over and play with the other two at weekends a bit more. I realise the BF will get quicker and easier and tbh he's already become much more efficient and he is often done within about 15mins but we are in no decent routine with it and I think perhaps he is snacking!!?? I will continue to BF for as long as I can at night and first thing in the morning but I realise my supply will probably dwindle.

Am really hoping we have a better night tonight, last night was just terrible. barely slept more than 30mins at a time from 11pm (((((