Advice on starting EASY with 5month old and Toddler

[Katjules]

My son is 5 months old and I cannot get him into any sleep routine. He has silent reflux with is controlled with medication. He has never slept through the night, his naps vary from 15 to 40 mins unless I cuddle him where he will then sleep for 2 hrs. His night wakings have got worse as he has got older, not helped by a series of colds and teething. He does not self sooth in anyway and using a dummy has a limited effect. Most nights he wakes every 40mins and I have ended up having to sleep with him in my arms for any hope of peace.
He feeds every 3hrs during the day but over the last week I have had to feed during the night.
I desperately want to get him started on EASY as it worked wonders on my 2yr old, but I just can't leave her for 30-90 mins each time I want him to nap or go to bed....please help as I am all out of ideas 😢

[jessmum46]

Big hugs first of all, you must be really tired.  As the Mum of a 7 month old and a toddler I know how tough it can be, my DS isn't the best night sleeper but it sounds like you have it worse than me - sorry it's been rough

First of all, do you think his reflux is properly controlled?  Waking every 40 minutes all night sounds pretty extreme to me, even with no routine and lots of props you'd expect maybe an hour or two stretch.  That would be my very first thought and needs to be addressed prior to starting any sleep training as it's not fair to expect independent sleep from a LO in pain

Secondly, what support do you have to help you if and when you do decide to sleep train?  You will need to devote some time to it, I know that's tricky with a toddler but (realistically speaking) it's not going to happen magically in minutes at this age if he's previously been used to being helped to sleep.  Do you have a partner around at weekends or a friend who could watch your toddler for a while? 

Could you post a typical day with awake times/sleep times, or if there is no typical, just a recent day or two?  It may be some adjustments could help him settle quicker or sleep longer.

In an ideal world do you want to continue co-sleeping or do you want to get him into his cot at night? 

Look forward to hearing back from you x

[Katjules]

Thank you for your response, I'm sorry it's taken me so long to reply.
Since I wrote my original post we have been struck by yet another cold! But I have spoken to the health visitor who has advised me to get my son on solids and I have to say the difference in him over the last four days has been astounding, so I think you were right about the reflux not being as controlled as I thought.
He is still sleeping in bed with me but only after he has slept in his own cot for at least 3-4 hours....I do not want to co-sleep.
Unfortunately my husband is away (we're both in the military) and isn't home until Easter, we have no family that can help and we have recently moved so yet to have any local friends that I can ask.
On a positive note though my little man has started to go to sleep without any props except for his dummy 
Over the last 3 days our routine has been something like this
A - 0530
E- 0600 - milk, approx 5-7 oz
E - 0730 - breakfast
S - 0900
A - 1000
E - 1000 5-7oz milk
E - 1130 veg purée
S - 1300 ( he usually wakes after an hour but goes back to sleep with dummy)
A - 1500
E - 1500 5 -7oz milk
E - 1600 veg purée
S - 1800

Then he stirs between 2000 - 2200 about every 15 - 30 mins until eventually he comes into my bed where he will sleep with 1 or 2 stirrings until 0300/0330 where we have a coughing fit intermittent within sleep til 0500.
I know I can't do any proper sleep training until my husband gets home and he has been a lot of better these last few days  I just can't work out why at night he can't settle. Even if he only naps last  25mins he's wide awake and smiling? X

[Katjules]

I forgot to add hem has more milk at 1730 before bed x

[jessmum46]

And equally sorry it's taken me a long time to get back to you

Sorry that you've had colds to deal with on top of everything else right now.  I would say his inability to settle well at night is probably a combination of discomfort, overtiredness and reliance on you to sleep.  The first one you may be able to do something about - is he on reflux meds and has he had a dose increase recently?  Overtiredness....well you can do your best to get naps as good as you can, and offer early bedtime where possible.  The last one may have to wait until you can sleep train. Just as a thought though - it is possible to sleep train for nights and do naps differently/however, progress may be a touch slower but if you want to try nipping things in the bud before he gets older and much more determined, you could try that?  I'd definitely hold your hand through it